#gruagach

Well, it’s no use denying it. I did watch this movie. I thought it was my duty as a Hellboy fan to do so and see the cut of its jib.

And its jib… was rather roughly and awkwardly cut.

Earlier, I made a summation of its quality with some rather pointed undertones and looking back, I’m rather embarrassed to have made it (if it’s not deleted at the time of posting this review, assume it will be in the next few days)

So, let’s see if I can’t be a little more in depth.

The movies main problem is it’s over abundance of plot points. Plot points that each could make an entertaining, maybe even well-made Hellboy movie all on their own.

Hellboy goes to Tijuana to find a friend he ultimately cannot save? Interesting.

Hellboy hunts giants in England until he’s betrayed and now has to survive being hunted by humans and monsters alike? Delightful.

The Baba Yaga trying to get revenge on Hellboy? One of my favorite Hellboy stories.

Hellboy clashes with BPRD policy and, worse, his father while trying to defeat a villain he has a paternal connection to? A Classic.

But the fact that the movie tries to do all of them at the same time and still kick off a franchise torpedoes any dream a studio could have of making a cinema mainstay to line their pockets with.

That’s not to say that the film is without it’s positives.

David Harbour’s portrayal of Big Red isn’t the same as Ron Perlman’s seminal performance, but that’s to his credit. Whereas Perlman’s Hellboy was a young man straining to find approval, Harbour’s Hellboy is more world weary, sarcastic, and tired of fighting monsters, wondering just what the point of it all is while still managing to be emotionally vulnerable.  The rest of the cast is similarly well-chosen for their roles. Daniel Dae Kim is suitably serious and skeptical as the “tough guy eventually won over”, Sasha Lane stands out as an action girl and I hope we see her in more to come. The odd man out is Ian McShane as Professor Bruttenholm. For me, McShane is too “cool” for the role of Bruttenholm and while his performance isn’t bad (some scenes between him and Harbour’s Hellboy even has what borders on father/son chemistry), McShane feels more like Trevor’s brother or father than the soft-spoken Professor Bruttenholm of the comics.

Milla Jovovich plays the villain, Nimue, as well as the script allows. She’s regal, ethereal, commanding, and even sexy at times, but her character sadly can’t seem to shake the cinematic faux pas that seem to be plaguing villains in the past few years (but that’s an essay for another day). Frustratingly, the gangly Baba Yaga, a character created by not one but two actors is a much more interesting and refreshingly cruel villain and possibly would have made for a much more gruesome good time in this film’s conflict of human vs monsters. A post credits scene seems to indicate plans for this as a sequel (had they but known…)

Benjamin Wallfisch’s score is rather middling, not capitalizing on it’s heavy metal influences and lacking the beauty of his work on A Cure for Wellness or the Creepy creativity of some of his tracks for the IT soundtrack, but still has some memorable riffs and sounds built into it.

Even more frustrating is the fact that the best action scene, one full of energy and crazy camera work, all scored to that Motley Crue hit Kickstart my Heart, is the final scene of this two-hour trudge (it’s less messy than a slog, but nonetheless tiring for the ill-prepared). And the final nail in the frustration coffin is that the funniest scene is a mid-credits scene where Hellboy meets his childhood hero, the vigilante Lobster Johnson. IOUs for better movies, it would seem.

Speaking of humor, the jokes in this film are on the tone deaf side. Several instances of characters talking when their lips are not on screen indicate that many of the jokes and one-liners may have been dubbed in during post production in an attempt to make the film appeal to a wider audience.

The action scenes are fair; still too much starting and stopping for my taste though. Again, I only enjoyed the final fight scene without any caveats.