#groupdynamic

21/9/17

Not gonna lie, but today was a real toughie because although we had decided a direction yesterday, little progress was made today. Reflecting on this, I think this may have to do with a lack of actual teamwork.

Specifically, the problem being the lack of delegation. Up till now this hasn’t proven a problem as we were all responsible with exploring different areas of interest as part of our iteration phase. And before then, we worked as a whole group to come up with our manifesto. These last 2 weeks because we started to work individually, I’ve gotten this sense that we’re starting to become like an aggregation as opposed to a team, working independently together.

However, now that we have a direction and basic idea of an outcome, it’s now imperative to delegate tasks and roles and then give each person a deadline for their task. The lack of delegation is starting to cause a lack of accountability and responsibility. And this is leading to a lack of progress and as cohesion in the group. This reminds me of Ricardo’s warning at the end of last term, where he said that a group of strong individuals tend to underachieve. And I can say I really like my team members because they are all independently hard working and passionate about what they do. But, now it’s time to bring that together as a team not an aggregation.

Delegation is different to the small group/independent research we did last week. This delegation has more “collaborative structure” as the roles and tasks are collectively decided and assigned to ensure we optimise each member’s individual progress, and therefore the overall collective team progress.

Most of the time, it is great to have a large group of friends. You will always have someone to hang out with and group activities, in general, appear to be more fun and more balanced. The problems arise when the group starts to become incestuous…to the point of cheating. Jen and David, one of the couples in the group, have been dating for a few years now. But, for the past six months, Jen has been sleeping with Owen, David’s best friend. As the story goes, Owen met a girl and told Jen that it was time to end the affair. Jen, however, didn’t want to. Upset with Owen, she decided that she would be the “first” to tell David….except she decided to tell her own version of the truth. Jen told him that it had only happened once, a few months ago. That is when things got awkward. David wasn’t talking to Owen and refused to be in the same room with him which, as you can guess, didn’t really help the group dynamic. The group (minus Owen) had breakfast a few weeks ago and you could cut the tension with a knife. It was just awful sitting around the same table with Jen, knowing full well what happened when David didn’t. Once the couple left, the remaining members of the group decided to plan an intervention and to confront David with the truth. I mean, think about it. If you were in David’s shoes, you would want to know. And if you found out later that your friends knew and didn’t say anything…Anyway, the intervention didn’t really happen. All the guys chickened out and it came down to one friend breaking the news the David. He admitted to having his suspicions and he said that it would be really hard to trust her again no matter how much he loved her. That brings us to today. David decided to confront Jen with the truth and what happened between them, we may never know. What I do know is that they are staying together…which is frustrating for everyone involved.

Maybe my ex-boyfriend made me extra-sensitive, but I personally believe that cheating in a relationship is simply unforgivable  Time did allow me to forgive what he had done but I will never have any type of relationship with him again. It may have been a mistake, but that mistake erased any chance of trust in our relationship. What I went through was awful but it wasn’t nearly as bad as what David went through. And yet, David is sticking by Jen’s side. I guess I just don’t understand it. She cheated on him with his best friend for six months. Who does that? I don’t think I’ll ever understand David’s decision to stay with Jen. Who knows, maybe she won’t cheat again. Or maybe, David is just setting himself up to be a doormat for the rest of his life. I guess only time will tell.