#grillpill

So you're at a mixed gender party, or a family event, neighborhood BBQ, that kind of event. The men and women interact with each other, but fairly often, they end up clumping up; men around the grill, women in the kitchen, mostly men watching the game, etc. Which group do you gravitate towards, which feels more comfortable, which is probably interacting in a way you enjoy, discussing topics you find interesting?

Excerpted from Friday Vibestream: Alpha Sanction, Feb. 5, 2021.

Someone had a long thing in chat just now saying that we're a schizophrenic society because of the divide between our digital and real selves. And I think that's true, but I think it even goes deeper than that, because that is only a proxy for the greater, the deeper divide in the modern self between the chronologically grounded self—i.e., the body in space—and the mental, mind self that is unbounded by space or time. And the Internet is, more than anything, a tool to allow us to spend time in our bodies that is not processed chronologically, and therefore cannot accrue meaning because meaning must adhere to experience. And there is no experience to online. It is a pseudo-experience.

You get mad, and you get angry, and you get horny, and you get scared, but it's essentially your brain tricking you into feeling those feelings. And so what you assign the cause of those feelings is also made up by your brain, which is harder to do when the source of your emotional responses is a material interaction that occurs in a chronological space-time.

I was pretty old when I really got into the Internet and I think that's one of the reasons it wore off for me, because it was never as satisfying as it is for younger people because the contrast between a life that I had had or I imagine I could've had instead of it was greater. Whereas I think for younger people, the internet is taken for granted.

But that doesn't mean that a crack-up is not inevitable. We're in the process of a full social breakdown. But that doesn't necessarily mean the apocalypse or the end of anything. It means people are getting to the end of their particular ropes. The coping mechanisms we've created, they have a fuse. They don't last forever. There's only so much dopamine you can get from a pseudo-existence. And it's different for people, like some people it's longer than others. But everybody gets to a point, and I think we're all getting there.

And I think one of the big reasons that we've had this big explosion in political hysteria in the last year is 'cause of fucking COVID. And it's weird how we've normalized COVID so much that we forget that there's no way that I, anyway, can imagine things like QAnon occurring, the fucking Capitol breach occurring, without a context where our coping mechanisms have been radically reduced. The things we have had historically to allow us to vent, to compensate for the lack within our lives, are sucked in. And if that persists, it's only going to get weirder. I think we're in for weird, weird, weird times. But weird times are when new things emerge, by definition.

And that's something that—it's obviously scary but to me, it's less scary than the narrative that a lot of people have internalized of total social fixedness; of the idea that these categories are unchallengeable. And people have said that I say that, but I just mean that looking through the current structures, that is the conclusion to draw—but that doesn't mean that it's the correct conclusion. ...

The last movie I saw in a theater was Uncut Gems, which we talked about a little bit on the last episode about Trump movies, but I'd like to end here talking about how I couldn't really have picked a more perfect film becuase that movie is about the death drive of American society. I mean, I know it's specifically about, you know, Judaism and stuff and the Jewish experience, but it's part of a broader analysis of a people—Americans—who believe themselves to be eternal beings, but have physical bodies, and who can't reconcile those two things other than by subconsciously seeking death on their preferred terms.

Like the beginning of the movie he's getting the rectal exam and it's actually kind of up in the air, and I actually thought he was going to get a call halfway through that he had cancer. And then he gets the call, "Oh, I don't have cancer." Yet! Oh he doesn't have it now. That doesn't mean in five years he's not going to have it. That doesn't mean in ten he's not going to get it, and he even talks about his family history. He's probably going to get it. Does he want that? Does he want to wait around to fucking get chemo and get sick, the thing that everybody watches their family members go through with horror? Or, do you die on your own terms going out on top. And that is why that movie has a happy ending. He got what he wanted.

But in real life, you can't do that. And one of the reasons we're cracking up is that it's a society of Howie Ratners trying to dictate their end, but you can't know. You can't do it. Because you set it up and it doesn't come because you don't want to die in your conscious mind, and then it doesn't happen, and then you have to keep doing it, you keep doing the same thing, and it drives you into madness. And it's driving us all into madness.