#greendork

i don't rly got a story of triumph here or anything. but it feels like today's the first day i really made peace with myself despite it all. like, nobody's gotta really like me. i've gotten used to it, even for those close to me. i became content with the smallest gestures of kindness, even if it means doing what's necessary to make a point. anything over the big overwhelming love bombing people have given in the past. like, i've gotten allergic to certain types of compliments, and i've only been able to take in real genuine ones. i would take harsh feelings that challenge me to think of a better response, time and time again, than the same flat "thank you's" and smiles. it always hits harder when i receive them genuinely despite it all. and i feel like i can reform myself when im at my best, just with a stronger outlook on how i approach those around me without holding back those feelings, those feelings that can connect without any of the baggage from before.