#greake

part of i.nktober fics i’m doing for my FH monster AU!!

now with a brand new masterpost!!!

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 Ok so Bruce works at a local flower shop. He's basically the only one who works there besides the owner (a little Old Asian lady that bought the store for cheap and lets Bruce stay in the apartment attached to the building for low rent in exchange for a big arrangement every 2 weeks) who stops by every now and again. It's pretty lonely most days but the people that come in are always a joy. A couple of teenage girls that come in to admire the flowers and a dad that buys carnations for his wife every month and an old woman and her dog that buy lilacs every now and again. Bruce went to school to be a florist, but learned most of his skills on the job or just by himself- he hopes one day the store's income will be good enough that he can buy exotic flowers and make huge bouquets for big events. 

 Matt works at a farmers market, he's been working there since he was just a teenager. The family that owns the market loves him dearly and helps him with any financial problems he may have, and his "employee discount" is so high that they basically provide for him (none of the other employees have a discount. They just really like matt). He formed a special admiration for farming and the like, and began helping out on ranches and orchards outside of town in the summer. With his money saving skills and the revenue he gets from working for fun, he eventually had enough money to buy his own land- a house with a huge yard located just outside of town. He gets into beekeeping and is absolutely in love with it. It feels like a team effort, him and his bees against the world. He takes good care of them, even plants certain things around the yard he knows they like, and carefully watches the weight and temperature of the hives constantly. He gets pretty good at it pretty quickly, and sells leftover honey down at the farmers market along with his crops and meads and such.

 Matt's settled into his new home when he meets Bruce, his hives been going strong for a few years, he's taken care of the land and got himself a dog and a few chickens. He goes into the city to see Adam, his college friend who was being featured in a gallery, so he'd come down for a couple days to sightsee and reconnect with Adam. He runs into Bruce at a hardware store (Matt's tools were as old as dirt and Bruce seriously needed some tougher gloves if he was going to survive de-thorning roses before Valentine's Day), Bruce sees Matt nervously pacing through aisles and staring totally confused at pretty much everything, so he helps him. They instantly click, Bruce is enamoured by Matt's tougher build and calloused hands paired with his sweet, kind demeanour and soft eyes. Matt falls for Bruce's infectious laugh and "gentle giant" nature, he's insanely generous, and kind of a flatterer. By the time matt has the right tools, they've both agreed to get coffee and bring each other something (Bruce wants to try Matt's apple blossom honey, and Matt asks for a couple lilacs in exchange.) When matt goes back to Adams that night he spews about Bruce like he's a dream- like he might've hallucinated this perfect man while in a panic at Home Depot. 

           They live together before they startdating, so Bruce knows Matt gets to into a project and sometimes forgets toeat. That sometimes Matt doesn’t sleep for days in a row simply because- thereis too much to do.

enjoy the ky easter egg in here

“So remind me again why you bought a 3DS?” Matt asked. He could feel his chin just barely brushing against the top of Bruce’s head, which meant his beard was most definitely rubbing all over his scalp. He didn’t know how or why Bruce liked it, but he claimed it was one of the main reasons he would splay all of his weight on top of Matt, his back to Matt’s front, on their sofa. 

It didn’t even begin to make sense, Matt’s parted legs barely met the middle of Bruce’s back, but he didn’t seem to mind so Matt wasn’t going to say anything.

“I told you, man, for Pokémon!” Bruce replied, brows furrowed as he scrabbled around the device trying to find the divot where the stylus was hidden. 
“But you don’t even like Pokémon.”

“Nuh-uh,” Bruce said, absently tapping the tiny screen, trying to calibrate the device. “God, why is this damn thing so small?”

“Because you didn’t get the XL.”

“The XL didn’t come in blue,” Bruce snipped. “And I loved Pokémon GO, so I thought maybe it’s time to see what all the fuss is about.”


Matt didn’t really have a rebuttal, so he watched quietly as Bruce clicked through the set-up of the 3DS. Before long, he was tapping the little Pokéball icon and the words “Pokémon Moon” flashed across the screen. 

“Why did you choose Moon?”


“Because I wanted Pokémon Mewn,” he answered, smirking. “And because Adam got Sun and we want to trade later.”

Matt grunted his understanding, arms around Bruce’s shoulders as the older man started tapping viciously at the screen.

“Cutscenes in a Pokémon game, are you shitting me?!” 

After a few minutes, Matt tapped Bruce’s shoulder and he leaned forward, letting Matt free from his flesh prison. When he returned from the kitchen with two beers and a bag of dried fruit in hand, Bruce was still tilted forward. Matt took that as an invitation to slide back into his previous spot and only then did Bruce lay back down. 

“Get a Pokémon yet?” he asked, biting down into a dehydrated peach. 

“No,” Bruce said testily. He tilted his head back with his mouth open and Matt put a slice of apple between his lips. “I wanted the beer, but okay.”

“I’m not gonna bottle-feed you beer.”

“Peake, I’m in the midst of possibly discovering this almost $200 trip to GameStop might have been a mistake, I need your support here. I can’t take another No Man’s Sky.”

“It’s not like Spoole didn’t warn us,” Matt mumbled, smirking in anticipation of Bruce’s reply.

“Not this again, Matt. How were we supposed to know that this would be the one thing Spoole was right about?”

“Maybe you’ll learn to trust the prophecies of small men in hats from now on.”


“Fucking finally,” Bruce groaned and Matt watched as the fat man on the screen threw three Pokéballs into the air and three creatures emerged and stared back at them. “…Where’s Squirtle?”

“Bruce-“

“Okay, wait, I’ve seen this guy before,” Bruce said, pointing to the black and white cat creature. “Litten? That’s a dumb name.”


“You gotta give it a chance, Bruce,” he said as Bruce tapped on Litten again and confirmed it as his partner.

 “Name it Roxy.”

At the sound of her name, the dog laying underneath the coffee table perked her ears up, tail thumping against the floor.

“I can’t name it Roxy, it’s a boy, see?” he pointed his stylus at the tiny blue symbol next to the sprite of the kitten Pokémon. “I’m gonna name it Peake.”

“Why?” Peake drawled, watching Bruce start to type his name, then stop, delete the letters, and replace them with the forward and back slashes before changing his mind again.

“Because you’re scrappy,” Bruce said, settling on ‘Peakums’ before entering the name.

“I’ve literally never been in a fight in my life.”

“Which means you’ve never lost!”


“I’ve never won either.”

“Look, you’re a lucky charm, so we’re gonna give it a go,” Bruce said with a note of finality, reaching around blindly for his beer before Matt reached down and handed it to him. “So when do I catch Pikachu?”

~ ~ ~

“Holy shit, Peake!” Bruce crowed, pushing out of his chair and running over to Matt’s desk, brandishing his 3DS out before him.

Bruce had made a habit out of whipping his DS out between gameplays or filming The Know and crowding up next to Adam to show each other their progress. Unsurprisingly, Adam had also chosen Litten. He’d named it DJ Jazzy Jeff and rumor has it, when it came time for him to evolve, Adam had become so upset, it took convincing from his wife, James, Elyse, and Lawrence to not start his game over completely out of mourning. 

“Peake, Peakums just evolved, you’re huge!”

Peake took his headphones down and let them rest around his neck, craning to see the device Bruce held out to him. He felt his eyebrows raise. 

“Wow.”

“I’m fucking starting over, I mean it this time,” Adam was muttering from across the room. “Like hell I’m gonna have some furry bait-“

“Adam, it can’t be that-“ James came up behind Bruce, looking over his shoulder at the screen. “Oh.” He paused for a few seconds, then made his way over to Adam. “I hear there’s an owl that evolves into Hanzo, let’s see what that’s all about.”


“He’s a wrestler, I think,” Bruce said over the noise of Adam making a show out of deleting his game and starting over.

“Cool,” Matt nodded, reaching for his headphones. His eyes fell on a part of the screen with stats, where it read height. 5’11”.

Dang it.

Matt Peake is crazily, unbelievably, totally in love with his boyfriend- Bruce. Matt Peake also has no idea how to say "I love you" so he settles to say it other ways.

Pairings: endgame OT8, All of FH/Matt at some point Rated: T for typical FH humor. Contains: Weird feelings! Gay kisses! Filed under: Polyamory, Slow Build, Bets & Wagers  

Summary: Word has it that everyone in the Funhaus office has a crush on Matt Peake. Reasonably, what follows, is… professing their love? Showering him in undying affection? Hugging him close to each of their breasts and whispering lines of purple prose of adoration into his ear?

Nope, they make a bet with the Achievement Hunters over who gets to date him first and best.

Who will win? Who will lose? Who will go down in burning flames?

The answer is simultaneously all of them.

15. things you said with too many miles between us

It’s not that Matt finds flying unsafe or unnatural—it’s that he just does not like it. He’s not fond of it. Going up in a big metal tube and being suspended in the air. Not his thing. He gets worried. It all starts shaking and dropping and it’s not for him.

The worry extends to when Bruce is flying. Of course it does. Even after all these years.

It’s Australia this time, for RTX Sydney. Bruce has promised to call him when he lands but it’s almost three in the morning for him and he hasn’t been able to sleep, he’s been in bed since midnight, he’s getting nervous, and—

The phone rings. He presses accept call quickly, exhales into the phone, “Bruce.”