#graydon weaver

Squarepants… he was my brother. We were hazed into the same fraternity. Hazed the shit out of us. But we persevered, and became brothers. The bond we made that year I thought would last a lifetime, but we lost him too early. He should have never attempted those ridiculous motorcycle stunts, but I didn’t have the heart to stop him. In fact, I took joy in the fanfare. I’d say, “there goes my brother squarepants”, and there he went. He didn’t even die in a motorcycle stunt, he died in a carryout at 3 AM trying to defend the old woman behind the register from a robbery. The gun went off accidentally, they said, and he’s only serving 4 years for manslaughter, but if there’s one thing I know, if it weren’t for squarepants being in that carryout that night, there would have been a lot more dead bodies in this city.

I’d rather go to the corn palace than get a porn callous

This is reheating my nachos

Boom zing how

MI. T. CH. hyphen. L. Capital. I believe she was scottish.