#gratingasshat

Rage isn't just anger, my dude.

No one likes that one personwho borrows money from you and never pays you back; luckily, you won’t findthis in a Thief of Breath. Even when it’s against their favor, the Thief wouldrather deal with their problem (or run away from it, same thing) than to inconveniencetheir friends. I mean, when you borrow something, both the borrower and thelender have a sort of tension between them until the debt is payed back, and it’scaused some issues in the past for the Breath player. Now, if you give them an object, such as indicatingthat they can keep your pencil since you have so many on you, they’re totallyfine. The Thief of Breath’s weird rules against this sort of thing ishilarious, since they just don’t wanna deal with remembering giving somethingback and all that, but it’s cute to see them avoid being tied down in such amanner.

The other things Thievesof Breath seem to have in common is drooling over some sort of fast vehicles;maybe they’re really into sports cars, or motorcycle racing, or parasailing.Though usually they have no way to indulge into their love of speed themselves;usually it’s a financial reason. Fast things are pricey after all! Though ithasn’t stopped the Breath player from finding a steep hill to bike down,reaching a mph that isn’t safe for anyone.Hopefully they’re wearing a helmet, and have someone nearby who has 911 onspeed dial. In the end though, all they want is feeling the gust in their face,and the weird feeling in their stomach, and that sheer force! Someone take themto a roller coaster and see if that works for them. I promise, it’ll be fun forat least one of you!

replied to your post:

“gratingasshat replied to your post: “I’m big angry now and grr but...”

:

Well, I didn't know that there were other things prior to that. If I made any assumptions, then apologies. Just goin off of whatever info comes my way.

It’s okay. It was a quick post I’d made just to remember my own thoughts for later as much as to give an update to people, so it wasn’t like it was very good at explaining things! I really should have gone into more detail or made the post once I’d confirmed things and had calmed down. And I’m also sorry that I was snappy. A couple of bad things had just happened and I was just in a really bad mood.

As for why I was thinking about Rage more than Hope:

I tend to be a very pessimistic person, especially when it comes to belief things. If I want to try something, like witchcraft, instead of actively going into it believing it’ll work, my thought process is more like “man I hope this works... (But I know it won’t)”. It’s a mixture of an innate doubt that things will work for me and yet this weak hope that they’ll work anyway, only to be bitterly proven right. 

My immediate reaction to a lot of negative emotions is anger - when I’m confused, when I’m upset, when I’m scared - and admittedly that’s happened enough now that it’s being pointed out to me. This is what got me thinking about the other things! I can think of a few occasions throughout my life where minor things have happened and I’ve reacted with an inappropriate rage reaction. 

Doubt and scepticism tend to dominate a lot of the choices I make; spite tends to drive me to try and do things, even if I might not actively like the thing I’m doing, but it can likewise completely stop me from doing things I enjoy. I’m not the sort of person who can repeatedly do something until I’m good at it; I get frustrated, I get upset, I doubt myself and my abilities, I stop (and usually refuse to do it again because “It won’t work”). I tend to get jealous of people who seem to have “better things” incredibly quick, and rather than feel like there’s a chance that can happen to me, too, there’s just this feeling that I’m even further from getting what I desperately dreamed of. Like I knew it was never going to happen, and now it’s been confirmed. 

Admittedly none of these are very... Hope-y things. I’d initially thought maybe I was a Page of Hope because I tend to flip back and forth between wanting to believe in things and the doubting in my abilities of those things, but my boyfriend pointed out that Rage tends to underlay my actions more than Hope does. 

According to my boyfriend, too, this aptly describes me (it’s Dahni’s quote on Rage):

“When I think of Rage, I think of Undying Doubt and Scepticism that everything around is ‘perfect’ or going to be okay, one way or another. Everything will actually turn out wrong, if not completely horrendous in the end. Rage is unconditional Hate and Fear, it is the cold shoulder, rejecting any thing or person. It is the underlying thought that what is here is wrong and false. It is the thought that there is no will and there is no way! No matter how deceivingly peaceful everything looks on the surface, it’s not real! It’s actually false, lies all of it! Rage is despairing and refusing that everything will be ‘just fine’...”.  

I can personally see where a lot of this would come in - beyond what I already said, there’s a lot of things that I’ve done that lines up with this perfectly - and considering my boyfriend is a Knight of Light, I was inclined to agree with him almost right off the bat.

That doesn’t mean we didn’t question it, though. He also suggested Void (but got rid of that right away, after reading through it again) and Doom (which he read through the description for and said didn’t read as strongly for me as Rage). 

The decision to go for Heir was an oddly long process by comparison. He suggested that I might be a Rogue - because I tend to let people walk all over me emotionally, and I have a hard time saying ‘no’ to people I feel duty-bound to - but we eventually agreed that Rogues of Rage don’t quite have the... well, rage that I do. From what we could read from Dahni, and some other blogs, they tend to struggle with being angry and doubtful at first - and that is very much not my main issue. 

He tentatively suggested Seer, but we shut that down after the first paragraph from Dahni. It’s just not me, at all. 

Which led us to Heir. I actually had to do a bit more research beyond my usual scope of blogs for this one (wherein I use Dahni as a base, and three or four other blogs for confirmation or additional interpretations), if only because Heirs are a bit finicky to pin down, but most people seemed to agree on the personality and struggle part of Heirs of Rage. It’s that that really cinched it, I think (and had my boyfriend giggling over it, because “I know you faster than you know you”).