#gotfc

Ned Stark could still hear the music clearly from where he stood well outside the clubhouse. He didn’t mind. The jazz band his father had hired to play tonight was excellent even if Brandon had objected. He’d protested that since the party was for him, he should get to select the music. Rickard Stark had merely glared at his eldest son and informed him that the party was for the principal shareholders of Stark Capital Holdings, and as the President and CEO of Stark Capital, the music selection was his to make. The announcement of Brandon’s appointment to CFO was only one item on the evening’s celebratory agenda.

Ned had been tempted to laugh at his brother’s expression then. Leave it to Brandon to make everything about him. Brandon had been working his tail off for the company for the past three years, and he deserved this promotion. He truly did, and Ned didn’t begrudge it. But he didn’t enjoy the inevitable swelling of Brandon’s already overlarge ego that came with it.

Ned leaned back against the broad trunk of an enormous oak and looked westward past the eighteenth fairway to where the sun hung low over the fields adjacent to the exclusive country club. He’d always liked this view best of all of those from the clubhouse. In all other directions you could see exquisitely manicured fairways and greens, the tennis courts, or the pool. Only on this side did the land remain flat enough to see far beyond the club’s borders, and he found he preferred the wildness of those largely untouched fields with scattered trees in random places and an abundance of wild bushes and mismatched grasses of varying lengths.

The band was playing a very lively tune now, and he knew that even more people had likely risen to dance. That’s what had driven him out here. He enjoyed the music, but he was a terrible dancer, and it was even more difficult to hide that fact when attempting to dance to jazz tunes than to the typical pop stuff a DJ would play. Rather than be rude to anyone who asked him to dance or make himself miserable by actually attempting it, he decided to come out and enjoy the sunset. It was a nice evening, after all.

“Want some company?”

Startled, he turned to see Catelyn Tully standing behind him. As always, his heart took a small jump when he saw her. He wished that were not the case, but he’d given up thinking he could stop it. “Where’s Brandon?” he asked in response, intentionally invoking his brother’s name for both their sakes.

The smile that had played about her mouth faded then. “Inside. Dancing with the girl from public relations. You know the one. Long, black hair. Long, tan legs.”

Ned nodded. He knew her all right. He knew Brandon had spent every night of the convention they’d all attended two years ago in Miami in that particular woman’s bed, too. His brother swore it had been a one-time affair—a company fling which both he and the lovely Ms. Dayne had put behind them, but Ned thought he still had a hell of a nerve to dance with her now. Particularly with Catelyn right here.

“Oh, cheer up, Ned,” she said when he remained silent and went back to gazing toward the western horizon. She walked over to him and bumped against his arm with her shoulder. “I’m not letting your brother get to me tonight. So you don’t, either. I don’t need protecting or defending me so you are off duty, Mr. Stark.”

She moved slightly away so that their arms no longer touched and leaned back against the enormous tree herself, sighing as she turned to look westward as well.

“Why are you out here, Cat?” he asked after a moment.”

“Why are you out here?” she challenged him.

He turned to face her then and gave her an exasperated look. “You know perfectly well why I’m out here,” he said.

She laughed. “Are you really hiding behind this tree simply because you don’t like to dance?”

He frowned. “It isn’t a matter of likes or dislikes, really. It’s a matter of ability.” He smiled ruefully. “Or lack thereof.”

She laughed again. A musical sound. One of his favorite sounds. “You really are terrible,” she agreed.

“Thanks,” he said dryly.

“Hey, I’m just agreeing with you. But I think you have improved a bit in the years since I’ve met you.”

“You think so, huh?”

“I do,” she said very seriously, but Ned could see mischief in the blue eyes. “The last time you danced with me—when Brandon abandoned me forever to play poker with Robert Baratheon at that club, remember? And you took pity on me?—anyway, when you danced with me then, you only stepped on my toes once that I recall, and I didn’t even have bruises the next day!”

She grinned at him, and he couldn’t help grinning back. Cat did that to him. She always had, and he’d never figured out how to make it stop. On his best days, he was simply happy that he knew her. That she would be forever present at least on the periphery of his life. On his worst days, he cursed God for having allowed Brandon to meet her first, forever damning Ned to the role of brother in the life of the one woman whose company he enjoyed more every time he shared it. Two and a half years now, he had known Catelyn Tully—first as his brother’s girlfriend, and for the last year as his fiancée. Two and a half years, he’d known her, and if he were honest with himself, he’d loved her nearly all that time.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” he asked her.

“A little,” she said. She swallowed, and looked back to where the sun had almost disappeared now. “Not very,” she said softly.

“Cat?” he asked, concerned about her. “Why did you come out here?”

“To find you,” she said without hesitating. She kept her eyes focused on the horizon as she continued. “That’s what I do when I’m troubled, Ned. I find you. Haven’t you noticed?”

He’d noticed. He wasn’t officially her brother yet. She and Brandon hadn’t even set a wedding date, but she came to him as she would a brother. When she needed cheering up. When she was frightened. Hell, she’d even called him when she’d driven her car off the road in a snowstorm and couldn’t get it unstuck  Brandon wouldn’t pick up his phone that day, but he’d gone to get her, of course. Together, they’d managed to get her car back on the road, laughing at the situation and each other, both covered in snow. Then she’d insisted on buying him coffee to thank him. That had been last winter. He still had the fucking Starbuck’s cup on which she’d had the barista write the title “My Hero” in place of his name. I’m an idiot, he thought. A fucking, pathetic idiot.

“I will take your silence to mean that you have noticed,” she said, and he realized he’d been silent too long, lost in the memory of snowflakes in fiery hair and laughing blue eyes and a clear voice calling out proudly, “He’s right here with me!” when that barista had held up the cup, rolled her eyes, and announced, “My hero.”

“You said Brandon hadn’t upset you tonight,” he said carefully. He found himself saying Brandon’s name a lot when he was with Catelyn. He needed to remember it, and sometimes he thought that she did, too. Sometimes, he could almost convince himself that the smiles she gave him were not sisterly at all.

“Brandon hasn’t done anything to upset me,” she said. “He’s simply being Brandon. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to allow that to upset me anymore. I’ve done that for far too long. It isn’t fair to make him responsible for my happiness, Ned. I need to be responsible for that myself.”  She’d turned to look at him as she told him that, but now she looked back at the sky. “Wow,” she said softly. “Would you look at that?”

He turned to see that the sun had disappeared but the sky was lit up in a blaze of color just above the fields. Pinks and purples and a thin band of bright red that called to mind the hair of the woman beside him. “Beautiful,” he whispered, turning back to look at her.

She turned to look at him, and he had the feeling she knew damn well he hadn’t been referring to the sunset. “I’m not marrying Brandon,” she said suddenly.

“You’re not … what?” He looked at her, frowning at the words that didn’t make quite make sense. Of course she would marry Brandon. Everyone knew it. They were a beautiful pair and complimented each other in any number of ways. Everyone could see it. Of course, Ned saw more than most. He knew how often Catelyn was unhappy. But he had no right to … “Why?” he finally asked when she simply stood there looking at him.

“You know why,” she said evenly, never taking her eyes from his, and he began shaking his head slowly back and forth.

“No. Cat … no. I never …”

“I don’t mean because of you, Ned. This isn’t your fault.”

At once, he felt both relieved and somehow disappointed. And the disappointment made him feel guilty.

“I don’t love him,” she said flatly. “How can I marry someone I don’t love?”

“But you … Catelyn, you’ve always loved Brandon,” he said. “Of course, you love him.”

“No,” she said slowly. “I’ve loved many things about him. And there have been many wonderful times when I’ve loved being his girl. But I’m honestly not sure I ever loved him. And if I did, I know I don’t anymore.”

“I … I don’t know what to say.”

She gave a little breathy laugh. It sounded unsure and almost frightened, but somehow relieved as well. “Well … now that I’ve told you … can we still be friends?” she asked, and she bit her lip. “I don’t want to lose you, Ned.”

“You can’t lose me, Catelyn. I promise. But are you certain this is what you want?”

She sighed. “What I want? I don’t know what I want, Ned. Not really. But I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to marry a man who will never be faithful to me. And don’t you dare protest! I know he’s been better since we got engaged. He doesn’t go out with girls around here anymore at least. But you and I both know that he’ll be traveling even more with this promotion than the two of you travel already. You know him, Ned. You and I probably know him better than anyone else in the world does. And when he’s in some hotel, far away from me, and some pretty girl smiles at him and invites him to her room … he isn’t going to say no. And you know that as well as I do.”

Her voice trembled slightly, but her eyes were dry. He wanted to defend his brother, but dammit, he wouldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t lie to Cat. She was right, and he did know it. “It isn’t because he doesn’t love you,” he said instead, and she laughed—a weary, bitter note souring the music of that laugh.

“Oh, I know,” she said. “Do you think I haven’t heard it? I love you, Cat. No one else means anything to me. It was only sex. I promise she meant nothing. You’re the only one I want.” She sighed deeply. “It doesn’t even hurt me anymore to hear him say that, Ned. That’s one reason I know I don’t love him anymore.”

Ned stared at her. He’d heard nearly those exact same words from Brandon over the past two years, every time they’d fought over his brothers infidelities to the woman he claimed to love. He’d had no idea Brandon had attempted to justify his behavior to her with those same meaningless phrases, and he found himself wanting very much to hit his brother in the face.

“Quit clenching your fist. I don’t want you to hit him.”

Ned flinched at her words and uncoiled the fingers he hadn’t realized he’d curled so tightly. “I won’t hit him,” he muttered. “But I should. That he would say such stupid things to you …”

“It isn’t only that, Ned,” she said quickly. “No, I don’t think I could be married to a man who is perpetually unfaithful, but even if he could change—even if he never looked at another woman—I just don’t feel for him what I should, Ned. And if I marry him without loving him wholeheartedly, without knowing that I want him forever, that’s being as unfair to him as he’s ever been to me.”

Ned nodded. “You’re right. And I’ve never known you to be unfair. But, Catelyn. Are you certain? Do you intend to tell Brandon this now?”

She bit her lip again and walked away from the tree so that her slim form was silhouetted against the western sky that had lost its fire, but still glowed a soft purple-pink. “Not tonight,” she whispered. “It’s his big triumph tonight, and I can’t … I can’t ruin it. But, I can’t … I can’t go home with him, either, Ned.” She turned around and looked at him. “Now that I’ve come to this decision, I can’t … I wouldn’t feel right about …”

Sleeping with him. She wouldn’t feel right about sleeping with him. That was what she couldn’t say. “I understand,” he said. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“I’m going to tell him tomorrow,” she said. “I owe him that. I can’t have you knowing and him not for days and days. That isn’t right. I intend to tell him I’m not feeling well, but that he should stay and enjoy his night. When I tell him tomorrow that we’re over, he’ll know that’s why I left early. If you take me home, he’ll likely be angry at you as well.”

She was right, of course. Brandon would be furious. He did care about Catelyn. Loved her even, in his own way. Even more, he didn’t like losing, and he would see this as losing something he’d thought was his. It would bring out both his possessive streak and his temper, neither of which were the most attractive aspects of Brandon’s personality.

He didn’t forgive easily, either. For a man who so blithely asked for forgiveness, he was terribly slow to give it. “If you do this, Cat,” Ned said slowly, walking over to join her, “You will not be able to take it back. Even if you reconciled, Brandon would …”

“Hold it over my head every time I got upset with something he did. I know. But we won’t be reconciling, Ned. I’ve known I needed to do this for some time. I just had to find the courage.” She gave him a small smile. “And I needed to talk to the person I trust most.”

Ned wondered how much she’d trust him if she knew how badly he wanted to hold her in his arms, kiss her breathless, and tell her that everything would be fine. That he would make it fine. But that wasn’t what she needed now. And he didn’t date his brother’s exes. There simply wasn’t a way to make that a good situation. Not with Brandon being who he was. But he wasn’t going to let her do this alone.

“I’ll take you home,” he said firmly. “I don’t want you to be alone right now. You’re shaking.”

“I am not.”

He reached out and took her hands in his. “You are,” he said. “I can feel it. Don’t be afraid, Catelyn. This won’t be easy. But you are right. You shouldn’t marry a man you don’t love. Brandon will understand that in time.”

“Maybe,” she said doubtfully. “But I can’t control whether or not he understands.” She then surprised Ned by leaning forward until their foreheads touched. “I’m just glad you do,” she whispered. “I was terrified of losing you, Ned.”

His heart raced. He thought about moving away from her. That’s what he should do. He wanted to grab her to him and never let him go. He wanted to hear her say that again. I was terrified of losing you, Ned. He wanted to believe what he’d heard in her voice when she’d said it.

Unable to do anything else, he just stood there, head tilted down to keep his forehead against hers. “That will never happen,” he whispered finally. “You will never lose me.”

She took a deep breath and straightened up. “Who’s shaking now?” she asked him with an attempt at a smile.

He did pull his hands away from her then. “Cat … I would never …”

“You would never hurt me,” she finished for him. “Whatever else I know or don’t know, I do know that.” She hesitated. “I … I think you know that I care about you, Ned. Probably more than I should. I’m not asking you for anything, and I’m not … I’m not ready to … I have to deal with this thing between Brandon and me. I can’t let myself think about anything else. Whatever I feel. And I know you understand that.” She smiled up at him, and for the first time her eyes did tear up. “Because you’re my hero, remember? I had it put in writing.”

“I’m a sorry excuse for a hero. Haven’t even got a cape.”  It was a poor attempt at a joke, but she tried to smile at him anyway. “Whatever else I am, though, I am your friend, Catelyn Tully, and that will never change. I promise.”

She nodded. “I need to go in and tell Brandon I’m leaving,” she said. “Are you certain your father won’t mind your leaving early?”

“My father won’t even notice I’m gone. All the official wining and dining is over. It’s pretty much down to the dancing, and everyone is used to my disappearing for that.”

“All right. I would like a bit of company, I think. Maybe coffee before you drop me at my apartment. I really don’t think I should ask you to come up and sit with me at home given the circumstances.”

“No,” Ned agreed quickly. “But if you find yourself getting anxious about tomorrow, you can always call me.”

“What did I do before I met you, Ned Stark?” she asked him, and he watched tears threaten her eyes again. It wouldn’t do to have her crying when she went in to make her excuses to Brandon. His brother could be self-absorbed and insensitive, but he wasn’t blind.

“You had fewer bruised toes,” he said glibly. He grabbed one of her hands and raised her arm high, making her spin in front of him. “There,” he said with a grin, when she was facing him again. “I’ve danced tonight.”

“You didn’t even move,” she laughed.

“Exactly,” he said with satisfaction. “I’ve discovered how to dance with you without stepping on your feet. I simply don’t step at all.”

She laughed harder, throwing her head back. “Ned, look!” she said, suddenly pointing upward.

The last vestiges of color had not quite disappeared from the far western sky, but above them the sky was dark enough that the stars had begun to appear.

“I’ve never danced beneath the stars before,” he said with a smile. “One more dance before we go, Cat?”

“My pleasure,” she said, giving him her hand once more. This time, knowing what he was about, she spun around several times when he raised her arm and staggered a couple steps dizzily when she stopped.

“Perfect,” she said, almost giggling. “Now Brandon will think I’ve had too much to drink which will explain why I don’t feel well and why you feel compelled to drive me home.”

“Do you want me to come in and talk to him with you?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “I think I want to do all of this on my own. Including telling Brandon goodbye for the last time when he doesn’t hate me.” She bit her lip hard, but then squared her shoulders and walked toward the clubhouse. She turned back after a few steps. “Thank you, Ned. For everything.”

“You’re welcome, Cat. For everything.”