Makes me feel like a robot. Everything around me gets numb.. emotions.. movements... daily tasks. You just kind of live life on autopilot. Food all tastes the same.. no appetite. Every day is gloomy. Or rainy. Or cold.
You always hear people say, “just give it time. Time heals all.” So on, and so forth. After a while it’s like, when is time going to get here?
The hardest part about getting over your 10-year lover, soulmate, best friend, partner in crime, high-school sweetheart; is them being in love with someone else. Maybe it is my fault I waited too long. Or maybe because I told him to go for it. I was dumb enough to see if he’d change is mind if he went for her. Guess I was wrong. Or maybe I brought two true soulmates together? Maybe I just prepared him for something better? Either way, I still feel the same. Pain. Sadness. He tells me I should be angry at myself. I ruined everything. All because I needed some space.
Then, he proved he needed a replacement. Slept with some girl for a few months then got caught up on drama. Fought with her verbally and then got jumped and went to the hospital because they were arguing at 3am, while I sat at a restaurant alone because I got stood up by him. Yet, he kept telling me she didn’t mean much. Went to her house and stayed the night the day after I spent time with him on his birthday. Paid for his dinner. Bought him a few presents. Kept him company. Yet on my birthday he spent the whole week with a new girl, got a matching tattoo with her and completely fell head over heels for her.
After from jumping from one girl to the next.
After talking to her for three months. ON SNAPCHAT
While sleeping with me in-between.
He’s lied and controlled me for the last time. All I wanted was one of our family pets. I’m boarder line suffering from PTSD. I was really hoping keeping the cat or the dog. The dog wouldn’t be happy where I live. There’s no yard for him to run through. So I asked for the cat. He said no because he doesn’t want to separate the animals and I haven’t been taking care of them. Which is entirely untrue, because he struggled with buying food and litter and I have helped him. Multiple times.
Well, you know what? Maybe it’s fate. Maybe we weren’t meant to be. All I can really do is type out my feelings on this Tumblr blog nobody reads.
I’m getting tired of missing him. People are getting tired of me talking about him. It’s time for him to go. So tonight may have been it.
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