#gonocontact

Criticizes and judges from the sidelines

Is condescending and superior

Is threatened by honesty and directness

Swings between idealizing and devaluing him-/herself and others

Denies and dismisses others’ feelings

Cultivates a public image sharply different from his/her private behavior

Identifies as a victim

Is cynical and sarcastic

Makes unreasonable demands

Turns your problems into his/her dramas

Belittles and blames

Exploits and/or attacks others’ vulnerability

Is reactive to questioning or criticism

Plays on sympathies

Fakes or exaggerates illness/injury for attention

Withholds and stonewalls

Gaslights

Avoids introspection and lacks self-awareness

Uses platitudes in place of genuine insight

Denies own anger

Focuses on unfairness

Is envious and vengeful

Prefers to remain behind the scenes 

Gossips

Triangulates

Holds a grudge

Needs reassurance

Is inattentive or annoyed when others talk

Has double standards

Hates to lose

Fixates on others’ problems and misfortunes

Flatters and fawns to win favor

Displays rage and contempt in private

Crosses normative boundaries and codes of conduct

Pokes, prods, and pries

Feels special through association

Feels above the rules

Uses guilt and shame to control and punish

Expects care-taking