#gonekrazy

gonekrazy replied to your post: “Don’t be afraid, be a mermaid 🐠🌴🐬”:

Wow, you are gorgeous!

Your hair looks awesome!

:D Thank you!

gonekrazy replied to your photo “God, my phone makes shitty pictures! Anyway, going to work with my...”

I hope you have lots of compliments because you look beautiful!

7. fake relationship au

Warning: this hasn’t been brit-picked. In fact, I was pretty afraid to show it to anyone:

*

Mycroft Holmes hated not being in control.

The sheer gall of this lowly inspector of Scotland Yard creating such a ruse to lure him out of a completely unnecessary, yet placating meeting with Prince William and the nature of his security now that a new heir was on its way.

Yet there was a certain thrill surrounding it. Must be of great importance, Mycroft mused on the car ride to Lestrade’s office. Or why else would the earthy policeman dare incur the wrath of the government?

*   *   *

“Ah, what a bloody day!”

The elder Holmes looked up over his mobile mid-text and arched an eyebrow. How dare he be kept waiting for a good twenty minutes. It had only taken him five to visually dissect the office space and deduce everything he needed to know about Lestrade's mood and current lifestyle; the fifteen minutes of boredom following that nearly killed him.

“Sorry ‘bout the delay, but the interrogation of our latest suspect went a bit long and Sherlock was his usual self –“

“Inspector, how does this idle talk concern me?”

Greg rocked on his heels, fists firmly planted in pockets. He was nervous.

Interesting.

“I have a favor to ask. And please,” he took out one beefy hand, the nails always bitten to the quick – best change that behavior with some positive reinforcement –

Now, now, Mikey.

Oh do shut up, Mummy!

“Are you all right, Mr. Holmes?” Lestrade looked worried, “May I get you a coffee?”

“No, thank you. Not that swill again –“

“Ah, right,” Greg’s overly-large two front teeth made a charming appearance, “Spit it out last time. I took note of that. I asked for the budget to include a cappuccino machine this year. I can go make you a cuppa if you’d like. Or I can put a kettle on?”

Mycroft crossed and re-crossed his legs, clearly perturbed. “I’m not here for pleasantries. You created what you believed to be clever trickery and distracted me from a very important meeting –“

“Yes, I suppose I did. That’s completely my fault and I deeply apologize. Unfortunately, your brother is very clear about not helping me – and he would make a poor candidate anyway – so I turned to you. It’s a one time thing, requires only an hour of your time, really, and once everything’s set, you have no obligation to see it through.”

There was a pause of painful silence for about five seconds where one could hear Mycroft Holmes swallow a large bolus of saliva.

What came out next was barely a whisper. His cheeks were blooming roses. “I hope what you’re proposing isn’t offensive to our professional relationship.”

When Mycroft said “professional,” it was about all of those times he needed Lestrade to track down his brother and do the dirty field work that was below his station in life and career. And Lestrade seemed more than happy to go along with the arrangement. Even though Mycroft often illicitly hoped for something more intimate, yet was afraid for the cost of such a foolhardy venture. For a man who was so bold in career, he certainly was a fantastic coward when it came to his personal life. But that was held up by baggage of a very specific time and Greg was not to blame.

The look on the inspector’s face was one of stark bewilderment, before he burst into laughter, “Oh, Mr. Holmes, what do you take me for? No, remember that last case we had, where Sherlock and John helped us trace a puppy farm to a drug cartel – where they were smuggling the dope in their stomachs?”

Mycroft predictably made an expression of distaste, “Yes.”

“Well, in the raid, I fell a little head over heels,” Greg’s hand went up to scratch at the back of his head and his tongue flicked out to lick a corner of his mouth. He then stretched his arms wide, “For a pup. He’s a large breed. Pyrenean mastiff. Cutest thing on the planet and I want him. Problem is RSPCA won’t adopt him to someone unless they’re in a two-person living arrangement. Basically, a couple that represents stability.”

Mycroft couldn’t think of anyone more stable in the Holmes’ life than this man. Ah, it all made sense now; Lestrade wanted him to grease the wheels with the animal organization –

“So anyway,” Greg cleared his throat, “Will you be my husband for the interview?”

It was an auspicious matter that the chair Mycroft was sitting in had sturdy arms to grasp on to, for the world in that moment began to swim, the edges made fuzzy and a metallic taste crept up from the tip of his tongue to the back of his throat.

“I mean, I know I’m beneath you. I don’t even – fuck, I’m thisclose to being Eliza Doolittle, aren’t I? But think of it as being for a good cause. The cause of two lives; one human, one canine. Good for Queen and country and all that.” And then he lit the room with that dimpled smile, the one that often kept Mycroft up at night.

His mouth went as dry as the Gobi. “When is it?”

“Well,” Greg’s eyes went wide, relaying clearly how flummoxed he was at the mission being accepted so readily, “Any time, really –“

Mycroft pushed one button on his phone. Lestrade tentatively leaned back on his desk, faking ease.

“Anthea? Can you bring up my schedule? I need an day off this coming week.”

There was a long pause as Greg could hear her protests on the other line.

Oh thank you so much! You’re so sweet! =) Okay let’s see.

1, I have a great balance. Which is very good in Aikido.

2, I’m great at giving other pep-talks.

3, I’m also good at comforting others.

4, I have a good knowledge of my own feelings and thoughts, so I know myself a lot.

✐ - fave types of movies?

Hmmm…definitely fantasy, by far. Anything with mythical creatures and magic~

❣ - how would it be your ideal date?

I don’t really have an ‘ideal’ date, as long as I’m with the person I love doing something that makes them happy.

I’m pretty cool with any kind of music. I usually prefer classic rock or classical though. The Beatles are my favorite band.

♪ - music you like?

I’m pretty cool with any kind of music. I usually prefer classic rock or classical though. The Beatles are my favorite band.

✬- photo of me?