#going2die

I'd say about 6 months, decemberish, I thought I was so done, I didn't need that anymore, but I haven't felt this out of control, overwhelmed, sad in so long. I know it's all in my head but I can't get these feelings out, nothing works anymore to help me cope, I never thought I would ever think about relapsing until tonight. Never even thought it would cross my mind, ever again. But here we go, just like it was yesterday, same thoughts, things that trigger, I'm not saying I will throw away how long it has been and how much effort I put into those 6 months to not think about it anymore, but I guess no one will ever recover from an addiction like cutting. Always trying to do everything right but just like my recovery from cutting, it's all goin downhill.