May 25, 2019
Gneensa (bugbear ranger): Nature check. 3.
DM (M): You can tell it’s a dragon.
Gneensa: ...
DM (M): ...
Gneensa: Danger horse!
DM (M): The dragon turns and gives you a disgusted look.
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Gneensa (bugbear ranger): Nature check. 3.
DM (M): You can tell it’s a dragon.
Gneensa: ...
DM (M): ...
Gneensa: Danger horse!
DM (M): The dragon turns and gives you a disgusted look.
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DM (M): After ten minutes of hard climbing, you reach the top of the cliff.
Rhi (playing Carmen): I’m buggered. I have terrible Athletics and Endurance.
Quinn (playing Gneensa): Me too. We’re terrible rangers.
DM (M): That’s wonderful, because at the top of the cliff...
Rhi: No!
DM (M): (gleefully) More frogs!
Quinn (playing Gneensa): So, I don’t speak Common since my character grew up in the Feywild. I’ve prepared a list of 40-odd words I know in Common.
DM (M): ...I approve of this and am looking forward to seeing how it plays out.
Gneensa (bugbear ranger): Ale. How much?
Barkeep: Two silver. So, you’re one of them freaks that fought the dragon, aren’t you?
Teedin (minotaur cleric): I don’t think we’re freaks.
Barkeep: I don’t say you’re a freak because you look like one or anything.
Teedin: Thanks.
Barkeep: It’s because you act like one.
Teedin: Oh.
Carmen (elf ranger): Team meeting, on deck, right now.
Hera (drow swordmage): *scoffs* Since when are we a team?
Carmen: I have been forced to travel with the four of you against my will, and so far the only one that hasn’t tried to get us all killed is the cow.
Hera: Bitch, I haven’t tried to get us killed.
Carmen: You pulled a sword on the harbourmaster.
Hera: *shrugs* That’s just how I solve problems.
Carmen: You solve problems badly.
Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): You don’t tell me what to do.
Carmen: *points at Vorbrumm* You got us into that mess, you don’t get to sulk. You need to stop picking fights. *points at Hera* You need to stop threatening everyone. *points at Gneensa* You need to stop being so scary. *turns to Teedin* ...You’re fine.
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DM (A): This frog manages to tongue-lash Hera.
Marijn (playing Hera): You hear a “What the fuck!” from inside my cloud of darkness.
Quinn (playing Gneensa): You can see in there.
Marijn: Yeah but I’m just so shocked it hit me. “This never fails!”
Hamish (playing Vorbrumm): I roll almost max damage on my daily! That’s 39 damage... and then the free attack on this other frog for 22!
DM (A): *silently takes miniature off board*
Rhi (playing Carmen): One shot of twin strike on this frog for 12 damage.
DM (A): It dies.
Quinn (playing Gneensa): I crit my twin strike on this frog!
DM (A): *sighs*
Quinn: Pop, pop, pop. Strikers doing work.
Captain: Can any of you sail a boat apart from the bugbear?
Party: ...
Captain: *shakes Vorbrumm awake* Can you sail a boat?
Vorbrumm (dwarven barbarian): *looks down at self* ...No!