#glorious-spoon

oh my GOD i have so much to say about how fandoms (and society as a whole tbh, but it's SO revealing in a fandom context especially) treats doms.

like, there seems to be this idea in fandoms that there are exactly (2) types of doms: the suave confident 100% in control at all times can read their sub's mind dom, and the evilbad likes to hurt subs and is also 100% in control of their actions at all times dom. either way, there is an assumption that the dom is the one who has their shit together and doesn't have any needs beyond fulfilling the needs of the sub. like they're just brainless tools only meant to be used as the sub's catharsis. there's never any consideration about a dom's interiority or what they might get out of a scene, nevermind what a sub might be responsible for in their relationship.

this is compounded by the idea that subbing is somehow more morally pure than domming, because you're not 'active', right?? the evilbadwrong things that are happening are happening because of the dom, they are just happening to you. it's just an extension of the very traditional trope of having an extremely powerful love interest -- well, i don't want the attention, it's just happening to me, and therefore i am still a morally pure and good person.

it's fetishizing the idea of accepting pleasure while putting blame on the one giving it. people love a noncon kink or a pain kink or a daddy kink but it's evil to fantasize about assaulting people or hurting people or being in a position of power over people. ok. and we're surprised by the domtop shortage. sure.

and i would argue that there is SUCH a rich vein of characterization here!! like, beyond the idea that obviously your preferences in the bedroom doesn't inform your entire personality, since if we're talking in fictional spaces i understand that sex is often used as a way of characterization, there is so much to say about the guilt and vulnerability of allowing someone to see these 'bad' thoughts you have, to be trusted with control and not knowing if you are worthy of it, to be afraid of the implications of your desires. i think that people really do not realize that domming is often just as vulnerable as subbing, and requires a lot of care before, during, and after the scene by the sub to make sure that your dom is in the right headspace!!

and i get, i get that most people writing bdsm fic don't participate in the lifestyle themselves. i get that this is a space of pure fantasy. however it pisses me off when people scapegoat doms so easily. you can get off on fantasies of subbing without fucking over doms.

not to even get too into the tendency of fandoms to equate subbing/bottoming with catharsis. i have such a bone to pick with the idea that the ultimate act of vulnerability you can show a partner as a long-time dom is to ultimately sub for them. that that's the end of somebody's character arc or whatever. it's so fucking reductive and speaks miles to how little people think of the effort and genuine vulnerability it takes to dom.

"Where did you find that?"

this ended up being more like five paragraphs than five sentences oops, but the words were wording and i wasn't about to cut them off!! 🫶

Buck's eyes drop to the recipe card pinched delicately between his own fingers. Crisp cardstock that's gone soft with age and use, slightly yellowed and fraying at the edges; the looping cursive Buck's nearly got memorized is a little smudged, a little faded, and old sauce stains decorate the corners.

Signs of a well loved recipe, a well loved meal. Something important. Special.

"Oh, I, uh, didn't actually find it anywhere," Buck starts, suddenly nervous, though behind the curtain he knows he has no reason to be, "Isabel— um, your— your Abuela, she gave it to me. A— a few weeks before she, um." He makes a gentle face, head ducking briefly before he peers carefully back up at Eddie. "She said it was your favorite."

Eddie's throat bobs as he swallows, and, under the warm glow of the kitchen lights, his eyes shine. "She gave it to you," he says, a statement, not a question, and one with no trace of anger in it, no confusion either, only— only something that sounds a lot like... awe, Buck thinks, or maybe wonder. "She never even gave it to—" Eddie cuts himself off, shakes his head. His mouth wobbles; he looks like he wants to cry, he looks like he wants to smile. His eyes flicker up to Buck's. "Are you going to make it?"

It's encouragement as much as it is acceptance, and Buck lets out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. Clutching the card a little more confidently, like he knows now for sure that Isabel made the right choice, that it really is meant to be in his hands, he tells Eddie, "Yeah, I'm going to make it for you."

I always get morbid curiosity and end up skimming through the fics that are like a bingo of bad omen tags and so often it's just the craziest stuff. like literally the last fic I did this on the author first apologised in the author's note for only having buck get a restraining order on maddie instead of having her get arrested, and then in the note on a later chapter contemplated about whether to have her be killed by police or just arrested instead. lots of arresting chimney too, for workplace bullying I guess? it all ends up feeling very juvenile, like ohhh buck's got a cool past and he's actually so skilled and capable and a killing machine and he's going to get revenge on everybody that harmed him and either they grovel and go to therapy and apologise or they get put in PRISON and then you open the author's profile and see that they've written like 50 more fics of buck putting the people he cares about "in their place" (post-lawsuit arc tag my beloathed)...

Spoons, hi hello!!

10. What was your quickest work to write?

My writing process feels a little like Dorian Gray, in that it either feels like I’m slowly and painfully handing over one of my cells at a time, or a magical spirit overtakes me and I wake up with this shiny thing I don’t have any real recollection of making.

I want to say it was Supernova, or possibly Hands in the Dirt. Both only took me a few hours, which is likely why they didn’t balloon. Hands in the Dirt was always meant to be a couple thousand, and it was the only fic I’ve written without any idea of what I wanted to write, just that I did and wanted it to involve tulips.

Supernova was a post-Bobby died grief hookup that came to me like a fever dream on a Tuesday right as I was getting ready for bed. And I remember having to stop what I was doing every five seconds so that I could write another paragraph on my phone. Two very quick Wikipedia searchers to make sure the metaphors about stars was accurate. And then I finished a couple paragraphs on the bus ride to work.

Answered 15 and 19 here

Ahhhh, yay! Thank you for asking this, I have so many just stewing in here 🧠

Margaret loves Tommy (because she calls Buck Evan and Evan likes it. Thanks to @some-little-infamy for this one.) Buck isn't sure how he feels about it, but it feels like healing, just a little bit.

Tommy's legal name is just Tommy. Not Thomas. Though, he doesn't divulge this fact to Buck until they meet his parents and Buck says how happy he is to have Thomas in his life. They are very confused.

Tommy is terrified of flying if he's not the pilot. He doesn't actually give people lessons so when Buck takes him up on them, he's a ball of nerves.

Buck pretends that he doesn't like when Tommy calls him "Kid" but it's probably the best thing he's ever been called by a partner.

Tommy loves shitty reality TV and is super jealous that the 118 got to go to the Bachelor Mansion. (Though, he's excited to know who the next Bachelor is before the season airs.) He also ropes Buck into weekly Bachelor watches at Madney's house.

Contrary to popular belief and general build, Buck is stronger than Tommy. They figure this out through arm wrestles, bench press competitions, and... other stuff. 😏

I'm thinking this is probably going to be a season 2 au. Intrigued by the idea of newly-minted permanent lifeguard Buck getting jealous of star probational lifeguard Eddie :3