#gigahon

im lazy & drunk and need to shedtwt rn but dont wanna get banned for posting myself on passgen or something so

fell asleep before i could post these last night but yeah

basically changing my rotting pattern slightly in now im only changing into my faded falling apart pyjamas when its late and im tired now and wear sweatpants and hoodies & socks during the day like a civilised person

but i clearly can't, it's too much, it's too agonisingly painful and humiliating and mentally flaying, NOBODY CAN DO THIS ITS IMPOSSIBLE

even if you TRY to do it as hard as you possibly can and smile painfully with dead eyes and the entire time the same fuckers all hugboxxing you and trying to be 'nice' and calling you she etc will

IMMEDIATELY then just jump and tear you to fucking shreds for fun and try to funnel you into misery & suic

they KNOW what they're doing, it IS on purpose. they ARE just trying to manipulate you into making a fool of yourself to feel better next to you and have a lolcow hon to make fun of I HAVE CONFIRMED IT ITS NOT EVEN A FUCKING

'CONSPIRACY, ITS LITERALLY WHAT THEYRE DOING IVE PROVEN IT

months wasted spent acting like a fucking retard and idiot trying to 'accept' myself & calling myself a troon & she and her and shit, and still entire time getting pelted with fucking insults and 'just jokes hon lol' and seeing fucking attention fishing passoids all making fun of and ripping into old ‘femboys' who look FUCKING IDENTICAL TO ME OR BETTER THAN ME WHILE STILL LYING TO MY FACE THAT 'ohh noo you totally look cute & feminine hon!'

fine, fuck it, im a fool, retard, gullible joke, fucks had their laugh at me making me into an even lower more subhuman lower form of target for them to feel better next to & have something to feel better about themselves by having lower than them

but now it's over, enough, jokes finished, im a loser and pathetic and a joke and ugly and disgusting and laughable and everything else, but im not gonna willingly make myself a joke anymore for the bottom of society to just have someone even lower than them

back to repressing, im a mentally ill male with the most pathetic laughable mental illness disorder on earth, but im still a male, i at least can still live as a normal male in society and not be a subhuman freak joke, so those fucks can laugh at & make fun of me but at least i can still walk away & be normal unlike any of you freaks. i still win

rot in hell, all of you

i just kinda accept it this point, im a hon, im ugly, oh well i can’t do anything about it except live anyway

at this point my ideal would just be a quiet simple life of peace with a boyfriend/husband who ig has little or no standards or has a kink for hons but would least humour me by pretending to treat me feminine and feel in love with him & just try to make him happy and feel loved and peace best i can through life, im kinda done with the repper bitter hostile stuff id just act like a normal wife or gf in private and just be normal & avoid conflict from now

and maybe a pet or some to focus my maternal instincts onto, tho not mandatory, but would be nice, maybe i could dress feminine inside assuming wasn’t too ugly & could be put up with

basically i just wanna be calm & accept things now and be able to larp as a woman in private and have something like the picrel

friday fit

plus my lunch from earlier finished, bacon flavour super noodles & chips