#gifted classes

I'm sorry I'm so sorry I know and I'm sorry

I can't even say anything. I know you don't care. I know I talk to much, even it isn't me. It's the other people who are now former gifted kids. But I'm sorry about them. And what they do. And how they make you feel.

And I'm scared you will think of me in this way. I know you do.

And you have every reason to. But I can't handle it.

I can't handle the way you talk about it.

And how you make it seem. It's not your fault you see it this way.

But it still hurts me. I'm still hurt. And I know I shouldn't tell you. Because it would just give you more ammo. But what am I supposed to do?

Do I just keep beating around the bush anytime I'm looking for information?

I can't ignore it anytime I try. I want to learn. And I have been learning a lot. But everytime you talk about it I get scared.

I just don't want to be bad. Please don't make me bad.

I won't say want group of people this is toward because that will only make things worse. I want to learn. I really do but I can't handle the wording. It makes me feel like I'm bad. I don't ever want to do something that hurts someone. I don't want to make you feel bad. But also, I don't want you to say things like this.

I really should not feel bad about these feelings. It's not my fault for having them..

I just feel bad about what they mean.

Like If I were to project this kind of thinking onto other person. It scares me. Because its harmful and it makes me afraid of the possibilities.

And that's why I get freaked out in the gifted classrooms, and people in gifted classes.

They cannot stop with the r slur, or acting like someone is stupid for asking a question.

That someone often being me. They say things like how people are stupid if they aren't in gifted classes. Because " it's not even hard".

When I was young I never called kids stupid. And definitely not for not understanding something. I cannot believe as we've grown they've gotten worse and not better.

I'm a little lost on some points. Like I understand but I don't get why we all have to he thrown under the bus.

It's not like I don't understand why you hate these people. I'm around the all the time. These people are annoying, their frustrating, and often pretty ableist.

They really can suck. However I dont enjoy the way many of you make it seem like it's all of us.

I know people will come back from this type of comment I made and say if it's not for me I should just ignore it, but I can't.

I'm already hooked from the word gifted, wondering if it will be what I'm looking for, and instead of even getting something compelling I'm stuck with being thrown under bus again.

And maybe I don't understand completely, I probably never will. Its impossible for me to get it fully, but it's also impossible for all "gifted" students to be trash, or garbage.

They don't always have to try.

They have to option to skip out on something for a bit and do it later.

The time extensions are honestly kind of iffy. I never actually have enough's time.

They can be confused and understand it later class.

They don't need to send emails to their teachers almost daily to ask for help, tutoring day and night, to extend time.

Extended time doesn't always help. Sometimes it makes it more stressful.

I know it will become a problem for them later but it's a problem for me now. And nobody is really dealing with it.

One person who have the number of has a similar issue but I believe it's more with phrasing in math, rather than the math itself.

They get to leave before me most of the time. I just don't understand what I'm seeing.

Okay

Um

They are kind of the worst thing ever. The thing about it is I'm scared to say this. I'm scared people will get mad at me. But I guess that kind of fits in.

I was taken out of class to do math sometimes. I never really understood what I was doing. I general i was always confused. This is not the usual gifted experience.

One day they took me out of class to the test for GT. I got things right on the test but I didn't understand it. I was taken out of class on fridays for GT. I would get back in class and be confused. I would cry a lot because I couldn't understand what we were doing. I would start to get 80s and lower grades. I think this is when I got my first 70. People in the general class would understand before I did and people in the GT classes never needed help.

In 6th grade I started getting 60s. GT students who made fun of me. They annoyed me a lot. Throughout the years they didn't improve as people. They just became meaner. Anytime they didn't understand something it became a big deal. I constantly didn't understand what was happening.

I always needed tutoring. I didn't mind tutoring but it took up my day. I did in the morning before class. Durning class. After class. And when I was in class would just hear constant complaining.

I got chances to be in a class full of students getting tutored. These students were mostly in the general classes. These students weren't as mean. They wouldn't judge each other as much for their grades or needing help. It was a breathe of fresh air.

I'd like to explain further but it's getting kind of overwhelming so I'm come back to it later.