#ghostswap

ghostswap julicap au. hear me out!!!

so no one inherits the estate, but ex politician Julian buys it with what he has left over from the divorce. and here's the fork in the path bc either he asks the captain to move into help pay for renovation and bc maybe the captain likes the house and wanted it too so compromise?? and then slow burn to smth. or they're just married and move in together, ur choice!!! anyway I think the captain would be the one to see ghosts bc it's just fun to imagine. uptight man suddenly has 8 weird dead pets/children/siblings.

the accident that he almost dies in is when they're unpacking an antique gun from caps granddad and it's loaded and oops. he gets shot in the leg and dies for a bit.

the cap is working and giving lectures down at the university bc shut up professor captain is real and true in my mind. Julian stays at home and has to figure out repairs bc they're on persons salary and his money went into the house. Julian is also a sceptic until kitty accidentally pushes him(she has Julian's power since he's gone, and she's stronger but only when she's hyped. I think she probs saw the captains cat he has in this au) while he's home alone and he just calls the captain like "BRO I DONT THINK ITS A JOKE ANYMORE I BELIEVE U NOW" cap lords it over him.

that is my ghost swap au I think cap as the ghost seeing guy would be much more of a " ok. we need order in here" type of guy but much like a petdad weak for his adorable animal(which he soo is for his cat) he folds quick. or is annoyed into it. and Julian finds the ghosts very fun so captain will be like "sigh. Thomas wants me to set up the smiths for him. can you believe it?!" and Julian is like. hmm yeah that's insane and then he puts on the smiths and is like. >:). father who undermines his husband's parenting choices.

LASTLY!!! Rachel should be allowed to see ghosts. she visits them in summers and holidays and I think maybe her heart failed at birth and so she can see the ghosts. and is their best friend(she's like 11 in the au)

It’s pride month, so they’re throwing a big pride party in the manor. The Captain is stressed and worried that no one will turn up, while Pat is trying to juggle party planning with explaining the history of gay rights to the ghosts and coming out as trans. The ghosts get it eventually, people come, they dance to This Hell by Rina Sawayama, it’s great

It’s Humphrey’s birthday and despite what he thinks, no one has forgotten this year. After an offhand comment by the ghosts in question about how it’d be fun to go to a concert, Pat brings his old high school bandmates (mostly made up of his sister/sister’s partners) over to put on the show of Humphrey’s afterlife. Them practising and the ghosts getting up to hijinks are intercut with scenes of Carol, who’s recently split from Morris after finding him cheating. Very specifically, I picture the end being of the episode whereat and the gang play their opening song, Dreaming by Blondie, Pat on stage singing his heart out, the ghosts on the dancefloor going ham, while Carol’s alone in her living room, watching old home videos of when she and Pat were married.

It starts out as an average day at button manor, until the ceiling falls in on one of the rooms. It’s way more dramatic than in canon, like the entire thing comes down, leaving one of the rooms completely wrecked. They get a surveyor to come around and she’s like yeah, that wasn’t the only ceiling that’s at risk of falling, and unless you get (this big amount of money) to pay for repairs/supports, then the whole house could end up collapsing in on itself in like under a year, probably sooner.

Pat being Pat refuses to acknowledge this and tries to go about life as normal, pretending everything is fine, until one of the ceilings in another room falls in and he’s forced to accept the fact that the house just isn’t safe to live in.

There’s no way him and Cap can get the money in time, and since they’ve got Daley to think about as well as themselves they admit defeat and decide that as soon as they find a new house, they’re out. They don’t have a choice.

Pat doesn’t want to tell the ghosts, doesn’t want to abandon them there, and is just drowning with guilt. But one day, he makes an off-hand comment to the pigeon who’s being annoying telling it to ‘move on already’ and to his shock, it does. He does an internet and finds some blogs saying that one way to get ghosts to move on is to tell them to do exactly that.

He decides to test this, starting out small with Jemima. He talks to her, listens to her story, and at the end gently suggests she moves on. And she does. He tries it with the plague ghosts two and miraculously, that also works.

In-between this, Cap is house searching, narrowing down to a decent-sized bungalow that they both decide would be absolutely perfect.

With all the small fish gone, Pat goes for Mary next, seeing as she’s the most eager to move on. He does the same as he did with Jemima, hearing her story before suggesting she moves on, and she does-

But by this point, the other ghosts have caught on and demand an explanation, which Pat very reluctantly gives. They obviously all freak out/give him the cold shoulder for a while, but eventually there’s no denying that the house isn’t safe and he has to leave. He only hope that they can before he does.

They get the bungalow.

Stuff happens and we cut to moving day. All of their friends/family who know about the ghosts have come to help, both with the move and the ghosts. They’re outside on the grass, all the living sitting in a circle, the ghosts inside of it. They’ve all decided that if they’ve moving on, they’re doing it together. Pat closes his eyes and one by one, addresses the ghosts, giving each one a heartfelt speech and a goodbye before telling them it’s time to go. Fanny is the last one, and when she’s gone, Pat won’t open his eyes, scared that if he does, they’ll all either be there, or they won’t be. They aren’t, he cries, it’s sad.