#genytips

"No . . . I don't like it." I said looking away from the long black and pink desi outfit my mom was holding up.

"Just try it on!" She replied pushing the outfit into my hands.

"But Mom. . ."

"Don't argue with me. Go try it on." She demanded and from the tone of her voice I knew I had no choice.  I begrudgingly made my way to the makeshift fitting room across the hall, which was actually the bedroom of the aunty's teenage son.  As I closed the door behind me, I noticed two white pages taped to the wall.  The first had a list of exercises: 100 lunges, 100 sit ups, and so on.  The second had a statement written in bold and all caps:  "Are the habits you have today on par with the dreams and goals you have for tomorrow?"

It was a simple question, but it caught me off guard because the timing could not have been better.  I had been spending a lot of time recently reflecting on the goals I wanted to achieve and how I would go about doing it.  It seemed like a bit overwhelming when I listed it out, especially considering I kept falling short of what I promised myself.  Somehow reading this simple question, however, provided me with a moment of clarity and reminded me that:  

Habits are the key to success.

We learn in different ways, but our mode of operation is by our habits.  It’s our default setting created by repetition.  Our daily actions form our habits.   Therefore, if we have a goal in mind such as becoming healthier, more well-read, more religious, more patient or anything else, we need to start small.  Start changing our daily routine to incorporate small steps towards our goal.  

Instead of trying to get through my ever-growing reading list by reading an hour each weekend and then getting disappointed when it’s Sunday night and I haven’t even touched my stack of library books, I should read 10 minutes every night before sleeping, and that’s exactly what I did.  I tested it out for myself.

Some nights I only read 10 minutes, and other nights I ended up spending 30 minutes reading.  It felt uncomfortable at first since I was so used to checking my email or watching Hulu before sleeping, but after a few days, I knew I made the right decision.  I woke up feeling better about myself and more content.  I made more progress on the non-fiction book I had been trying to get through in the past week than I had over the past month when I was spending few minutes to an hour of my night watching TV or surfing the internet instead of reading.  Plus, reading before bed was making me fall asleep earlier and get more rest in!

It was a simple change, but extremely effective in getting me towards my goal of reading more and finishing my list of books.  It’s important to remember, however, that habits aren’t easy to change. 

Imagine if you’re right-handed and someone asked you to write with your left hand.  It would feel strange and your handwriting would be terrible.  The first few times you’d feel frustrated and disappointed, but over the course of a few weeks, your handwriting would get considerably better and you’d feel more comfortable.   Your body responds the same way when you’re trying to formulate a new habit or get rid of a bad one.  It’s not easy.  You don’t always feel that great after the first few times, and you will mess up.  It takes time to see the benefits, but it’s worth the effort to change.

Moreover, you have to start small.  I didn’t plan to read for 30 minutes or an hour every night.  I promised myself 10 minutes.  Sometimes, it happened to be for longer, but if not, I was still sticking to my plan.  Don’t try going from 0 to 60 overnight.  If you try to change all of your bad habits in one day, you’re likeliness to slip up and fall short of your expectations increases considerably.  Don’t make it harder than it has to be.  Take it one habit at a time and one small step a time, so be patient.  Slow progress is still progress after all. 

Lastly, it’s easy to fall back into bad habits.  We need reminders around us to force us to reflect on our choices and keep us on the right path.  I wrote this question on a post-it and put it on my desk to actively remind myself to  think before going about my normal routine, reflect on the little things I do that may be hindering me and preventing me from reaching my goals, and make better decisions.