Co worker who sees a ring on my left hand : Omg I didn't know you were married?
Me, not out and definity not married: Oh yeah! I didn't tell you? Oh well I've been married a few years now actually, it's been great... For the most part. Sharing things, living in the same house. She hasn't stuck to the vows though and she nags alot, but hey ho that's being married to yourself.
Co worker, clearly confused: ... Uh?
Me: Hm? Ahhh psyche I'm just kidding I'm not married!
Co worker, thinking over what I said : So, you're not ga-
Me, interrupting: Yep, totally. 100% all about dem women. *Does click noise like a useless lesbian*
Co worker, silent for a moment: ... Oh fuck me.
Me: Only if you ask nicely. Haha just kidding again! You aren't my type and just because I'm gay doesn't mean I automatically fancy you Karen. Have a nice day!
*Gets up and leaves with gay swagger whistling the GJ theme*
Co worker:
