#gd angst

If Jiyong was crazy in love with you (scenario)

Jiyong as Heal me, kill me character (one shot)

GD x TOP x reader (smut, unifnished) You’re Big Bang dancer and both GD and TOP are attracted to you.

Part 1

Part 2

You’re YG music producer’s daughter and that’s how you meet Jiyong and fall in love with him (one shot)

Belong, fanficion. (angst/fluff/smut) You and Jiyong knew each other before and you hadf eelings for him. You meet after two years during fashion week in Paris and unexpected things happen.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 (in progress)

Backstage with Jiyong (one shot, smut)

Jealous Jiyong (scenario)

Fanmeeting with Big Bang (scenario)

DUFF (fanficion, unfinished) GD x TOP x You (part1)

You’re high school student and you’re find out you’re DUFF- designated, ugly fat, friend. You ask school playboy, Jiyong for help to change your look and win Seunghyun’s heart but things turn out differently than you expected.

Love is a friendship set on fire (unfinished) part 1

You know Jiyong from school times before his debut and that’s how your love story starts.

A/N: “I’m in flashback” I miss After School.. But anyways, there’s a flashback in this part. Enjoy!

Part 3

You hit your phone as it annoyingly disturbed your slumber. You groaned and slowly opened your eyes. But to your surprise, it was still dark. You looked back at your phone to confirm the time and wondered why there wasn’t any sunlight from your window. You looked over to where your window should have been only to see a painting instead. Quickly, you began to notice everything was different yet familiar. You sprang up in bed and looked around the hotel room. The blankets next to you started moving and a tattooed arm crept out from underneath and pulled you back down onto the bed, suddenly making you remember the events from the night before. 

You thought all of it was a dream. But it wasn’t a dream. Jiyong was here, holding you like he used to. His head was resting in the crook of your neck as he spooned you, holding your hand over your waist. You felt the familiar butterflies in your stomach, remembering how they never went away in the two years you both had been together. You smiled and turned around to face him. His eyes were still closed but he had a tiny grin on his face. You ran your hands up his bare chest, reaching the sides of his face and pulled him into you. You pecked his lips, making his grin stretch into a smile. You pecked his lips again, then his cheeks, then his nose, then his forehead and didn’t stop until you heard him laughing. You froze, realizing how much you missed hearing him laugh. 

“Good morning.” His voice was low and raspy, sending chills down your spine. He finally opened his eyes and kissed you back, stopping at the one. “I have today off.”

“Oh? When’s your concert?” 

“My show’s not until tomorrow.” He led his hand down to the hem of his shirt on you and lifted it up slightly. He rested his hand on your hip and started tracing circles on your skin. You remembered that this habit only made itself known when Jiyong was in a very good mood. He didn’t seem to notice he was doing it as he continued talking. “You should call into work today.. since I have the day off.” And then it hit you. You had work.

“Shit! I forgot!” You jumped out of bed and changed back into your work clothes, not caring that he was eyeing your body. “I’m sorry, Jiyong. I actually have a meeting today that I have to be at.”

“Oh.. okay.” 

“But after that, I can leave.” You looked back at him on the bed and walked back to a sulking Jiyong. You leaned forward and crawled on the bed to him until your faces were only inches apart. “Is that okay?” He looked at you and licked his lips. He nodded his head slowly and quickly grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you passionately. You laughed into the kiss, trying to wiggle your way out of his grip to go to work. You pushed him gently away. “I’ll see you later, Oppa.” You got off the bed and quickly walked out the door.

“Good morning, ma’am!” said one of the housekeepers who was walking your way. Jiyong’s room obviously being next for her to clean. She hesitated seeing the body guards on each side of the door. 

“Oh, actually they don’t need service.” you whispered. She nodded her head and went on to the next room. You let out a sigh and greeted the body guards before walking down the hall. 

“Unnie!” You saw Eunbi walking quickly towards you with a strange look on her face. 

“Good morning, Eunbi-ah.” you said with a smile. 

“Unnie, why were you coming out of G-Dragon’s room??”

“What?” you asked, surprised.

“You just came out of his room, right?? Why?” Eunbi was the type of person to never oversee anything. She always followed her hunches. You knew you couldn’t lie to her about this anymore. And honestly, you were tired of lying to her about it. You sighed, defeated, and brought Eunbi to your office, explaining everything. “So…you and G-Dragon…? He’s your boyfriend?”

“He was my boyfriend.” you clarified. “He’s not anymore.”

“…..but you just came out of his room. You stayed there all night.”

“I got drunk, Eunbi-ah. That’s all.”

“Unnie… that’s all that happened? Nothing else happened?” she asked unconvinced. You rolled your eyes and ignored her. 

“It’s time for the meeting, let’s go.” You opened the door and you both walked out. 

The meeting was over and your found yourself stalling to go back up to Jiyong’s room, wondering how you were going to tell him last night might have been a mistake. Eunbi kept giving you little knowing looks all morning long and you joking wondered if telling her was a mistake. You carefully made your way up to Jiyong’s room, making sure none of your staff saw you. Once you had gotten there, you were met by his body guards. But before you could try to explain yourself, they stepped aside and let you across the door. You knocked and waited for a minute before having the door open barely an inch until he saw you. He yanked you in, at the risk of having someone else see you.

“Ow! Jiyong–” You were interrupted by his lips crashing into yours. You pulled yourself away and lowered your head. “I came here to talk to you.” He instantly looked worried. He recognized the tone in your voice. He only heard it a few times but knew it enough to be scared of whatever followed. “Last night was nice. It was nice to pretend. Even if it was only for one night.”

“I wasn’t pretending, Y/N..” he said sternly. 

“I missed you a lot. So I just wanted to act like everything was the same.”

“Y/N, you just kissed me this morning. You can’t just expect me to act like it was just pretend.” He started to raise his voice and you didn’t like it.

“And you can’t expect me to forget everything that happened.” He looked down, avoiding your glare. “During the two years we were together, you never lied to me. So I do believe you when you say that there was a reason.” He looked up, hopeful. “But until I know that reason, I’m sorry, but I can’t just forget it… Three years is a long time, Jiyong. Whether it’s your fault of not, I have no choice but to blame you.” You wanted to forgive him but you couldn’t. He stepped forward and grabbed your hands, lowering himself to meet your eye level.

“Just stay with me? Please? Just keep trusting me as much as you do now.” You expected him to have tears in his eyes like he normally would in this kind of situation but instead, he looked determined. You nodded your head in understanding and gently pulled your hands out of his. You couldn’t go back to how things were. Not yet. He couldn’t tell you the reason why yet, but he could try to push you to figure it out on your own. “I have to go to work for a little while today. Do you wanna come with me?” Seoul was about 2 hours from where you were and you really didn’t feel like sitting in a car for that long. You shook your head, refusing to go. 

“No. Why would I go? To have everyone ask me questions? No.” You were sure if you went, people would ask questions about whether or not you and Jiyong were back together.

“We’ll go in through the back, Straight to my studio. If we run into someone, I’ll do all the talking. I promise.” He seemed eager to take you and you had no idea why. You shrugged your shoulders, not caring anymore. You had already taken the rest of the day off anyways so your figured, why not?

The car ride up there was very relaxed and you both talked like you normally did. It almost made you not want the car ride to end. But once you pulled up to the familiar YG building, your hands started to clam up. You prayed you wouldn’t run into anyone. As you walked inside and waited for the elevator to come down, Jiyong looked at you. He wanted to kiss you just like he used to. This building held a lot of memories for the two of you. This is where you both would usually meet up if it wasn’t at your apartment. Since you didn’t want to tell your family and friends that you were dating a celebrity, Jiyong had no choice but to bring you to his studio so often. 

Suddenly, the elevator dinged and the doors opened and standing in front of you was Yang Hyunsuk. Your heart dropped. While you were panicking, you looked over at Jiyong. But he had a strange look on his face. One you hadn’t seen before. It kind of looked…angry? The most you’d ever seen was Jiyong very frustrated, but never angry. You looked back at Yang Hyunsuk and realized he wasn’t even looking at you. He was glaring at Jiyong. Jiyong grabbed your wrist and pulled you behind him while Yang Hyunsuk walked past the two of you and out the door to the garage. Jiyong then let go of your wrist and walked into the elevator. You hurried in with him and cleared your throat, trying to ease the tension that was clearly present.

“Jiyong–”

*ding*

The doors opened and Jiyong quickly got off, not waiting for you. You followed behind him with a safe distance in between you two. When he got to his studio before you, he left the door open, knowing you were behind him. You closed the door behind you and sat in your familiar spot on the couch along the wall. Jiyong sat in his desk chair and immediately started working on the computer. You sat back comfortably, and let Jiyong release his anger with his music. You closed your eyes and laid your head back, listening to the short clips of music that you were so used to. You actually missed it. Jiyong would usually play the same piece of music over and over again, changing something in that clip each time, playing with the music.

While Jiyong listened carefully to the music, he turned around and saw how relaxed you were. He missed you so much. You, being here in his studio like old times, made him doubt that this was actually happening. Doubt that you were actually here with him. He grinned and went back to his music, forgetting about his anger.

“Okay. I’m done.” Jiyong said as he turned around in his chair towards you. You looked at the clock on the wall and didn’t even realize an hour had gone by. He got up and sat beside you on the sofa. “Did you recognize what I was playing?”

“Yes, actually. I didn’t want to interrupt. I remember you working on that when we were together. Towards the end, I think.” You looked over and he was nodding. It was strange that he was bringing up his music. Usually, you had to be the one to bring it up. Otherwise, he never talked about it.

“Yeah. I’ve been working on it for a long time. It’s pretty much done.”

“Oh really? That’s good! I bet Yang Hyunsuk is happy!” you said, smiling. But as soon as you mentioned his name, Jiyong was no longer in a good mood. You could see his jaw flex and his hand form a fist.

“He doesn’t know it’s almost finished.” he gritted through his teeth.

“Oh.. Well, I’m sure he’ll be happy.” You tried to make the mood change back to how it was by laughing and playfully pushing him but Jiyong wasn’t having it. 

“I have to make sure some things are sorted out first. Then he can have the song.” He stared at you, urging you to understand. But you had no idea what he was talking about. So you just smiled at him and nodded, not knowing what he wanted you to say. He looked away from you, running his hand roughly through his hair. “Why would you understand that?” he muttered under his breath. “Let’s go.” He got up off the couch and waited for you to do the same.

“Where are we going?” you asked, still glued to the couch. He reached out his hand as his reply. You hesitantly grabbed it, blindly following him. You weren’t leaving yet because you hadn’t gone to the elevator. It looked like he was taking you to his other studio. You pulled back, not wanting to go there. You had very unpleasant memories there. One in particular. “Stop. I don’t wanna go in there.”

“Why not?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“You know why. Don’t make me. Please..” You could feel your eyes moisten and felt ashamed. He had no compassion and kept dragging you forward. “Jiyong, please!” You pleaded with him but he wasn’t listening. He pulled you into the closet-sized studio and closed the door behind you.  Still holding your hand, he brought his other one up to your face and brushed away the single tear that had escaped your eye. You knew he wasn’t doing this to be mean, but he knew how painful this place was for you. Why was he so insistent on bringing you in here?

“You need to grieve, Y/N. I know you haven’t.” he gently whispered. It still affected him. Everyday. But he knew you shut out every thought of her. He knew it was more painful for you. You carried her for four months. 

“Yes, I have. It’s been three years..” You clinged onto him as your sobs got louder. “I don’t want to do this, Oppa.. why are you making me remember..” He pulled you into him, tightly holding you in his arms. You never thought about her. You couldn’t. “I’m sorry, Oppa. I’m sorry.” He gritted his teeth together. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry.” He hated the fact that you blamed yourself. You didn’t know the truth. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he couldn’t yet.

—flashback—

“Oppa, stop. We can’t do it here~” you whined, not hating his lips all over you. 

“It’s fine. It’s my studio, no one comes in here.” he said in between kissing you. 

“Yeah, cause it’s so small. Jiyong~” You hated coming to this studio because it was so small. Two people could barely fit in here. His hands started wandering down your back and stopped when he reached your ass. You moaned into the kiss, giving into him, and you could feel him smiling. He spun you around and sat on the only love seat in the room and pulled you to get on top of him, never breaking the kiss. You straddled him and tugged on his hair, wanting more. You reached down to unbutton his jeans while he slowly started rubbing your mound through your shorts. 

“Being pregnant makes you so horny. It’s hot.” he said while smirking and biting his lip. You lightly pushed his shoulder in embarrassment, while pretending to get up. He pulled you back down by your hips and pecked your cheek. “I’m sorry but it’s true.” he whispered. Then suddenly, you felt a sharp pain in your stomach. You groaned and held your stomach. “What’s wrong??” he asked, panicking. 

“Jiyong–” You were cut off by the returning pain and curled up more in Jiyong’s lap, laying your head on his shoulder. “Jiyong. The baby.” He picked you up bridal style and rushed out the door, yelling for someone to help. You were fading in and out of consciousness due to the pain. Being in a secluded part of the building made it hard for Jiyong to find someone to help. You didn’t know when he left you on the floor, but when he came back, you looked at him. His hands were covered in blood and his face was drenched in tears. He must have called 911 because, suddenly, you were lying down on the back of an ambulance with Jiyong looking down at you.

“Y/N. It’s okay.” He sounded so scared. 

“Oppa” you softly said before blacking out. You woke up in the hospital in a daze with a sleeping Jiyong holding your hand. “Jiyong.” You spoke hoarsely. He didn’t wake up so you gave his hand a light squeezing. He slowly opened his eyes and realized you were up. 

“Hey.” He had a faint grin on his face while he looked at you. His eyes were so swollen and that’s when you remembered why you were there in the first place. He saw the panic suddenly spread across your face and he leaned into you, pressing his forehead against yours while cupping your face in his hands. “She didn’t make it.” He whispered with a trembling voice. Tears immediately started rolling down your face. Jiyong was trying to be strong but a few tears managed to slip out. 

“Why? What happened?” you sobbed, barely audible. He shook his head slowly on your forehead. 

“I don’t know. They’re still trying to figure it out. They think..it might be some kind of medicine you took…” You couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.

“I–Did I–Did I do this?” He wasn’t sure he even understood himself. You just kept crying while he held you.

——–

After you had finally stopped crying, you pulled away from Jiyong. But fortunately for him, not very far because of the small studio. He reached out to grab your hand, still wanting to touch you. You didn’t refuse him and allowed him to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“Does she have something to do with you leaving?” you curtly asked. He didn’t say anything, knowing he could ruin everything he’s done if he told you. 

“Just trust me a little longer.” he whispered.

“For how long? How long am I supposed to wait?”

“Not long. I’m almost done.” He gave you no explanation, not that you expected him to but your patience was wearing thin and you were too worn out from crying to put up a fight.

“I love you, Jiyong.” You don’t know what came over you but you suddenly needed him to know. He looked at you confused at your sudden confession.

A Kwon Jiyong Story

Summary: She was a rose, and he was the darkness that should have killed it…but when a rose is made of enough light to penetrate even the deepest darkness, sometimes the two are able to become one…

Genre: Fluff, Smut.

Part 9.5

[Y/N: Where are you? I need to talk to you.]

[KJ: Message seen.]

‘Aish.’ You mutter to yourself, feeling utterly helpless where you were sat in bed, having been forced to leave training after you’d tried to rehearse and had continued to show signs of being in pain.

‘Just rest for tonight, you can start again in the morning.’

You’d seen the blatant dislike for his own words in the choreographer’s eyes even as he’d said them, but after being lectured by the likes of Jiyong he wasn’t about to go against the wish of one of the biggest gear heads of the company.

Ever since your argument with said man, you’d been trying to get hold of him all evening after the way you’d snapped at him and he’d walked out, having spent a good few hours moping and deciding it just wasn’t meant to be, before realizing you were actually quite angry and that you wanted to yell at him about it. But no matter how much you’d text and called him, he hadn’t responded, leaving you with only ‘Message seen’ notifications to keep your frustration bubbling away inside yourself.

‘Why wont you just answer me!?’ you snap at your phone, before you throw it across the room, hearing an ominous cracking sound resonate from the device as it collides with the floor.

‘Shit.’ You whisper, staring in concern toward it, making to retrieve it but getting caught by your leg protesting in pain, resulting in you slumping against your bed with tears stinging at your eyes.

Its after 5 minutes of forcing yourself not to cry that you hear a quiet commotion emanating from the front room, and you refocus your attention on what was being said beyond the wall that separated the rooms.

‘Why is he calling us in at this time?’

               ‘I don’t know, the message just says that he wants to have a meeting now, although he did write that Y/N didn’t have to come because of her injury- I wonder how he already knows-‘

‘That’s not important right now, Jinnie. What’s more important is whether we should tell Y/N about it…-‘

               ‘Of course we-‘

There is silence for a solid minute, the pause giving your brain time to panic about (you assume) Yang’s request to hold a meeting with your group, minus yourself. He never usually called meetings this late, or with this little notice, unless the topic was severely serious, and after what had happened that evening, you couldn’t help but begin to freak out that he was going to push your debut back because of your injury.

‘Come on…if we tell her, she’ll only work herself up over it…-im sure its nothing-‘

               ‘But Chaehyeon!-‘

‘Jaemin, she’ll be okay, she’s probably sleeping, we’ll be back before she even knows we’ve left…now, lets go.’

You could feel your throat contracting sickeningly as the sounds of them leaving reach your ears; the shuffling of feet, the ruffling of coats, and the click of the door as the catch slides into place, all of it making you want to cry out at your inability to help, to be a part of the team like you should have been in that moment, especially with how close you were to your first release.

You’re too busy screaming silently at your dark thoughts as they curl around your mind, that you don’t pay any attention to the sound of the keypad to the front door dinging with an accepted pin code; too busy curling into yourself and hiding your face in your bed sheets to hear the exchange of shoes to slippers, and the footsteps as they walk into the kitchen to deposit something, before the anonymous intruder makes their way over to your bedroom door.

His entrance is silent, the minute your door handle turns and your door creaks ajar giving you a mild heart attack, but before you have time to freak out, your mind catches onto the face that was angled toward the floor, the familiar high cheek bones, and cats eyes causing your heart to continue to pound harshly in your chest as you realize that the subconscious wish that had been pedaling itself around your mind had come true.

‘Jiyong?’

He doesn’t respond to your whisper of his name- at least not openly. You watch statically as he seems to draw in a breath before slipping into the room, making sure to close the door quietly behind him, as though he might disturb someone, having to take a moment before turning toward you, and only then does he raise his eyes to find yours.

He looks so out of place here.

‘I don’t know what im doing here.’

It wasn’t what you’d expected him to say, but then again, you weren’t sure what you’d wanted him to say anyway, you simply found yourself being thankful that he was there, and that your frustration at him had dissipated slightly with his presence.

‘I…I told Hyunsuk about what happened…about your leg-he called the others in to discuss what was going to happen before the debut…but, I…I was meant to go home- and then…I… I found myself here.’

The shadows in the room seemed to caress him, and you found yourself wanting to reach out and pull him towards you so that they’d disappear from his expression, your heart desperately needing to see him smiling again, but before you could even move from your position where you were still laid on the bed, he was walking over to you, pausing just at the edge of your bed, before twisting to perch on the edge.

‘Why didn’t you answer me?’

Your question doesn’t seem to surprise him, the vocalization of it simply causing him to chew on the inside of his cheek as he avoids looking at you, whilst his hand hesitates to rest on the bed, seeming to timidly inch toward you, before he swallows thickly and pulls it onto his lap, his shoulders hunching into himself as he faces away from you.

‘I didn’t know what to say.’ He murmurs, barely taking a breath before he carries on in a quiet voice.

‘Usually I’d have deleted your number and turned up at the nearest club by now.’ He begins, the initial statement making your stomach churn, but he’s continuing too quickly for you to really get caught on that image, although your mind continues to linger on one specific word he’d said; ‘Usually’.

‘But for some reason I stayed at work for much longer than I should have…I just…I didn’t want to go home. …and then when I spoke to Yang and he called a meeting with the rest of your group,…instead of driving home, or to a club, …I drove here and waited outside until the others had left- I just-..I don’t know what to do; I-…I don’t want to let you go- I needed to make sure you were okay…I-’

His head falls into his hands as he groans the last sentence, any further words falling short of being spoken as he seems to get lost in his head, seeming utterly confused of himself, and his shattered expression and exhausted posture has you trying to sit up without thinking, almost instantly hissing quietly in pain when you twist your leg the wrong way and he’s immediately turning towards you to help support you into a sitting position.

‘You need to rest. …I brought some hot chocolate from the café downstairs cause I figured it would help cheer you up.’ He murmurs, helping to prop your leg up on a pillow, keeping his head down all the while, and you cant help but stare at him as you wonder why you hadn’t always seen him as the kind-hearted, caring man he was being now; somewhere along the line he’d stopped being ‘G-DRAGON’, he’d even stopped being Kwon Jiyong…now, he was simply the man you found yourself falling for.

‘I’m sorry for getting angry at you earlier…I shouldn’t have snapped at you, I was frustrated-‘ you begin to explain, a need rising in you to clear the air and make him understand that you didn’t mean what you’d said, your actions coming from a place inside you that realized that you didn’t want to lose him, but even as you start to apologize, his hand on your cheek and the way he shakes his head gently has your words trailing away as he leans in to touch his forehead to yours.

Even though you knew he’d been about to say something, you cant help but lean in to touch your lips to his, his mouth being so close to yours, and the hours that you’d spent without him being too much of an incentive for you to resist…although by the way he responds by sliding his arm around your waist and clutching you to him, you understood immediately that he felt the same way.

‘Tonight has made me realize just how much you mean to me…but im still sorry for making you angry.’ He mutters as he pulls away from your lips slowly, opening his eyes steadily to peer back at you, and the warm glow that emanates from his oak irises has your insides squirming happily as you peck his lips again, before pulling him closer to you and forcing him to lie beside you so that you could use him as a pillow, the comfort that you felt with him being in your room giving you confidence you didn’t know you had, but that you were glad for when you laid your head on his chest and felt his arms wrap warmly and securely around you.

‘I’m just happy you’re here. I missed your smile.’ You murmur quietly, already feeling yourself relaxing into the enticing embrace of sleep as he slowly strokes your hair, but after 5 minutes of being petted by him and almost falling asleep several times, you cant help but chuckle at his quiet murmur as his voice turns awkward.

‘Okay, but you know I cant stay here all night, right? I’ve got to leave before your friends come back. …Y/N? ….Y/N?’

‘Mmm, 5 more minutes.’ You mutter, curling closer into him, and even though you cant see his face, you can sense the smile that curls his lips as he watches you in the words that he says next.

‘Aish…I can’t fight your cuteness. Okay…5 more minutes.’

lure

/lo͝or/

verb

tempt (a person or animal) to do something or to go somewhere, especially by offering some form of reward. synonyms: tempt, entice, attract, induce, persuade, seduce etc.

// kwon ji yong

“Noona,” Junhoe calls for my attention, he’s holding out my phone that I had given to him earlier when my daddies had been constantly calling an texting me. Well actually Jiho had taken it away from me, claiming it was a distraction, and I guess he wasn’t wrong. The minute I see the phone lighting up I’m out of my seat and running down the length of the table to snatch it out of his hand.

“I thought I told you to ignore all of her calls and texts,” Jiho groans.

“It isn’t a call, it’s a reminder for some appointment.”

I look down at my phone, coming up blank for any appointments I had coming up that Jiho wouldn’t remind me about. My heart drops that the sight of the characters on the screen.

“What is it for?” Seungri questions from his spot across the table.

I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes up as a cry settles in my throat that won’t come out either. I can’t let it, I hold it in along with the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. My hands cup the phone as if it’s the most precious thing in the world and bring it to rest against my forehead. No one in the room says anything until just a small whimper escapes my lips. Jiho is out of his chair in seconds, ripping the phone out of my hands and stuffing it in his back pocket. His arms are around me, pulling my tight against his chest.

“I told you to ignore everything,” Jiho snarls at Junhoe.  I can’t even think to feel bad for the boy receiving Jiho wrath with my hands shaking.  Jiho drags me out of the conference room easily and into the empty lobby. He rocks me back and forth gently, humming that song, I know he’s try to calm me and I know that this usually works but it only makes the tears finally pour out. The cry escapes me and I know now I can’t get it back. He runs his hands through my hair as I bawl like a child into his shirt.

“Oppa,” I cry.

“I know, I know, I was hoping I could delete it off your phone before it went off. I’m sorry,” He hums into my hair, still rocking me gently. “If I would have known you would react this badly I would have tired harder. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know why I’m being like this.”

“Because you have had a very stressful week and the last two years haven’t been the easiest either. Do you want to go home?”

I pause, “Home?”

“To Jiyong, your real home.”

“Oppa,” I start but he cuts me off.

Cupping my face he looks me in the eye, “I watched you struggle for months with those guys, I see the uncertainty in your eyes when you go to them. I know why you are falling apart right now, why this one thing is making you like this, it’s because you know what Jiyong is offering is better, it’s so much more than those men could ever give you. Jiyong promises you a future.”

I bite my lip to keep myself from crying more. I close my eyes and try to calm my heart even just a little. My mouth opens to respond but I’m cut off by the sound of Jiyong’s office door opening.

“Shit,” Jiho clicks his tongue, “He heard me. I don’t let him think that I defend him all the time.” He gives me one last hug before shoving me in the direction of the open door before turning and rejoining the others in the conference room. I hesitate walking toward the doorway but once I see Jiyong peeking through my nervousness eases a bit, giving me the little courage needed to go to him.

“Hi Oppa,” I give him a small smile.

“Hello my Love,” He opens the door a bit more, letting me slip in before closing the door with a solid click. “I take it you saw the reminder,” His hands caress my cheeks, wiping away any stray tears.

I nod.

“I thought you were solid on your decision.”

“I am, I’m taking it back but it still hurts,” I rub my chest.

He wraps his arms around me, “I know Love.”

“I should probably call them and tell them to… I don’t know what to tell them,” I sigh resting my forehead on his chest.

“I already went.”

I pop my head up, “You what?”

“Do you want to see it?” He is smiling sweetly at me but I can see the pain behind it.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” I trail off as he leads me farther into his office where I see it. It’s hanging from the ceiling but it still manages to touch the ground. My jaw drops, he releases my hand and nudges me to go forward. With shaking hands I reach out and feel the blush colored tool between my fingers. Twiddling the hem between my fingers I start crying silently yet again. My eyes scan the long train made of  the same fabric up to the high waist and deep V neckline. White little flowers make up most of the top, a little sparkle here and there. “It’s beautiful,” I mumble softly.

“Do you want to try it on?”

“Jiyong,” I drop the fabric and step away, “no, that will only make it worse for both of us.”

“Please?” He says gently, “I just want to see you in it, please?”

I want to fight him on it, “I can’t, not like this, I don’t have on the right make up, I don’t have shoes or jewelry. Plus I just going to be the idiot walking around in a wedding dress when I canceled the wedding.”

He doesn’t say anything, just goes behind his desk and pulls out a small white box along with my makeup bag I left at our apartment. I open my mouth to deny him again when grabs something from his closet not to far form his desk, it’s clothing bag. My heart sinks when he unzips it to reveal his suit for our special day. “As I remember you didn’t want to wear shoes, so that shouldn’t be an issue, but if you want to use it as an argument I have five different pairs over here for you to choose from.”

I gulp, “Oppa.”

“My Love please, I need this.”

“Jiyong! We can’t!”

He surprises me by dropping to his knees, his head bowed, “I…I haven’t been able to sleep ever since you told me you needed to think. In my head I keep thinking you are leaving me and suddenly I can’t breath. I just need this to get through the day, to know that you still love me, to know what there is a chance that one day you will walk down the aisle to me. Please?”

I nibble on my lip as I eye the dress hanging up, I nod, “Only for a second.”

His head snaps up, he jumps to his feet and rushes towards me, a smile on his face, “Really?”

“Yes, but it’s going to take me a minute, I have to do my hair and my make up and put the actual dress on. I’m going to spend more time getting ready for it than actually in it, I hope you know that.”

“Here,” He grabs a chair and gets the dress down from the ceiling, “I got some of your stuff in the bathroom already.” He rushes off towards the bathroom with my dress in hand like a child running down to Christmas morning. I click my tongue as I wonder over to his desk and grab my make up bag.

I kick him out of the bathroom the minute I get in there, dumping my bag I find makeup wipes and quickly clean my face. I only spend a few minutes redoing my eye makeup, replacing the dark eyeliner Baekhyun had done with natural colors, hues of pink and gold. Next is my silver hair, which I planned on dying to a natural color before the actual ceremony, that doesn’t match the colors I already have. I twirl two locks from the front back and pin them together out of my face. A few accessories are laid out, I pick out one with little pearls on the end, making me think of tree branch, and place it gently in my hair. Good enough I guess, I think as I eye myself up.

With a deep breath I turn and pull my dress off the hanger, it slides over my curves perfectly, fitting each curve and dip like a second skin. The dress was made for me so of course it is, it’s my dream dress, the princess dress I always wanted as a child. Tears prick my eyes when I catch sight of myself in the mirror.

“Jooyoung,” Jiyong knocks on the door. “Are you ready?”

“No,” I choke out, trying to blot the tears on a tissue paper to not ruin my makeup.

“What’s wrong my love?”

“We were going to get married,” I cry.

“We were,” He hums, “we still can, if you want.”

“Oppa we can’t. Not with all of these things going on. Not with all of them still in my heart.”

He slips something under the door, a sheet of paper and a pen. I stare down a the paper, Certificate of Marriage is scrawled across the top with Jiyong’s name already taking up one of the lines. I say nothing, I don’t pick it up, I don’t shove it back at him, I can’t get myself to move until he slides in something else.

A ring.

I drop to my knees and pick up the small piece of metal that we had gone to pick out together. It’s smaller than the engagement ring that is still on my finger but they go together, the golden band looks as if it had been weaved with diamonds, lacking a large one in the middle but the first is flashy enough. With trembling hands I slide it on to my finger, the sight makes me want to cry even more, both in sadness and happiness.  

“No one has to know,” He tells me. “You can go back to their house tonight. You can love them to your hearts content, you can play house for as long as you want. I just want you in the end.”

“Did you know it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding?” I mumble quietly.

“But my love…”

“Sit down outside the door,” I tell him resting against my side of the wood. I sit and listen as he slides down the wall, his butt hits the ground with a thunk. I reach up and unlatch the door but only let it open a few inches before sliding my hand out. “I know your heart is aching, I’m sorry that I am the person who is making it hurt so much but I don’t want to promise you things I can’t guarantee I can follow through on. It will only hurt you more in the future.”

He holds my hand in both of his, his fingers run over the two rings on my hand.

“I love you so much Jiyong, more than you will ever know but you aren’t the only person holding my heart,” I take a deep breath as I force out the rest. “If this is too much for you, I understand if you want to take it all back. I won’t like it, but I can’t have my selfishness standing in the way of your happiness.”

He chuckles, it’s deep and warm but also sad, “You are my happiness.”

I smile.

“I told you, as long as I have your heart in the end, I don’t care what I have to do or how long I have to wait. I love you.”

Okay, so I don’t know if this chapter is actually sad or not, I wrote most of this at work on my phone so I apologize for any grammar or spelling issues. Someone said they wanted to see Jiyong, sorry it’s not such a happy moment for them but they will have happy times, in case you were worried!

Imagine you become someone else. That’s what happens to Kang Min Sun. After unclear circumstances she starts new life as Hana. That’s how she meets Kwon Jiyong and the rest of YG artists. At first it seems like a dream but nobody’s life perfect and soon Min Sun will learn this lesson.

Genre: melodrama/comedy/fantasty

It’s meant to be wrote in style of kdrama. Jiyong as a male lead and Seunghyun as a second lead. Reader as Min Sun/Hana- female lead.

Part 1

Kim Ha Na, more known as Hana. She debuted in 2014 as a solo artist after being the YG trainee. Her first album was sucessful and later she recorded two songs with T.O.P and G-Dragon. She also had few cameos in dramas. She’s said to have come back at the end of this year.

These were basic information about a person who was apparently you now. Or you was actually this person. In her body. Trying to figure it out was causing another panic attacks so you just decided to stay glued to computer and continue reading information about Kim Hana. You stucked in some apartment and before you left hospital, bodyguard had to deal with reporters in front of building. Until your leg was broken you had to act like you was really a person in whom body you lived. You had to act you remember things so you tried to find as much news about Hana as possible. You had to act that you’re not scared of a fact that you actually moved in time from 1998 to 2018.

Hana, you can search Internet on your phone. It’s uncomfortable to sit at the table woth plastered leg. You manager said and put this weird, flat thing on a desk. Your previous phone looked simpler but this one was colorful and had big screen without keyboard. It looked so complicated and it was locked by password that you didn’t remember.

Want me to help you to sit on bed? Manager asked you.

I.. I wanna eat ramen. you changed subject.

Ramen? You always eat greece salad at this hour.

You stopped yourself from making surprised face. Your manager came up to fridge. You would normally tell him to mind his business but you tightened your mouth to stop yourself from comments. This girl seemed polite and strict. Unlike you with your bad temper and laziness. You looked again at beautiful furnitures around you. This place looked expensive.

It’s a dream to live in so great apartment. you sighed to yourself.

That’s why it’s yours. This is one of your favourites, isn’t it? Man added and gave you your salad.

Do I have another apartments? you asked without thinking. He looked at you surprised behind his round glasses. Ah.. Right. Now I remember. Everything comes back to my mind.

You doubted it sounded reliably but it was better than nothing. Then your manager said he would leave your for a while to buy more products to your kitchen. It was so unusual to be treated this way. For the next week you literally studied from Internet about korean wave, idols and YG artists. Meantime you started private rehabilitation with doctor at your home. Even beautician came to take care of your skin and nails. You felt like a princess.

Ah.. What a beautiful life. you sighed and took another seafood from your plate. You was sitting on the folding chair in fluffy robe. Month have passed in the blink of an eye.

Hana, your mother calls you. your menager told you and he took your iphone from a table and handed it to you.

My mom? you said with enthusiasm before you realized he didn’t mean your real mom. It felt awkward at first but later you just acted like you really talked by phone with someone who was your mother. You planned to find out about her and leave this place after convalescence.

No. There’s really no need to fly from USA, mom. I’m getting better. you said at the end when Mrs.Kim suggested to visit you.

Anyway. I’ll visit you in nearer future. Call me more often.

Yes. Thanks. Bye, mom.

Few minutes later when you ened your conversation, your phone started to ring again. You saw a name on a lockscreen: Yang Hyun Suk.

Answer for me. you asked your menager.

Oh.. Ok. he mumbled. Yes, Mr. Yang? Here’s Park Dae Hyun. Yes. She’s better now. Doctor said she will be able to walk without struches soon. Meeting? Tomorrow? Yes, sir. I think we will handle it. Goodbye.

What meeting? you asked when Dae Hyun disconnected.

All artists have a meeting with CEO to sum up current projects and establish new things.

When next day your driver stopped a car in front of YG buildling, you couldn’t believe what you saw. Dozens of photoreporters and not less of fans gathered close to your car. Your manager told you to put sunglasses on and asked two bodyguards to go out first.

Hana! Hana! group of girls started to scream when you went on the sidewalk. You collides with your bodyguard’s back when he pushed away intrusive reporter. Now you knew you was said to hide behind sunglasses. Flashes of cameras were so blinding. Everybody around tried to come closer and take a photo or record you. Second bodyguard and your manager helped you to walk by crutches and enter entrance. When you finally came to elevator, you could say that you felt safe. Your manager opened a door to big conference room. All eyes turned to you.

Welcome back, Hana. Please, take a seat. you heard familiar voice. It was CEO Yang. You watched few videoclips with him during your stay at apartment. You actually got know about all of these people in room. Three man on the left were from Epik High. Then girls from Blackpink and boys from Winner. You still didn’t remember names of all of them.

Good morning. you said and you barely bowed.

Here’s free place. said a man with small eyes and prominent nose. It was Kang Daesung. Rest of members were sitting next to him on the right side. When you sat, you looked closely. You recognized that man behind dark glasses was T.O.P. You was curious if he was as handsome as on photos but you could only see his profile. The next one was a dark-haired man in weird clothes, G-Dragon. He had a face that even women could envy. Then it was maknae of Big Bang, Seungri. He looked at you and smiled at the same time with Taeyang who was next to him. You shyly bowed what was nothing like you but it was a first time when so many handsome men was looking at you at the same time. It felt so great to live like a celebrity and be a real beauty. Maybe I should live this dream a little bit longer? You thought.

Ok. If everybody’s present, let’s start. CEO annouced. He discussed with Winner about their tour and then he looked at you.

Hana-sshi, we’re glad that you’re fine. YG will take care about press but I would like you to give an interview after few months. Reporters are at the building so please, agree with Dae Hyun if you want to make a short statement. It’s the best moment when they know that you arrived here.

Yes. you answered shortly.

We will talk about that planned collaboration with GD when you fully recover. Mr. Yang continued. You stifled your moan, hearing this. So you was meant to start some project with GD? Shit..

We will talk it out when Hana will be in good shape. Meantime I will be re-writing a song. you heard Kwon Ji Yong.

That’s all right. CEO said and looked at you again. I hope it won’t take more than a month for you to be able to work again. I’m really rooting for this project but that schedule is not a problem for you.

I will work hard. You anwered just like these all idols from videos used to say. These informations helped you a lot to deal with this situation but after Mr Yang’s words you suddenly felt so helpless. Trainees worked hard for years to improve their singing and dancing skills. You had no preparation, you couldn’t sing or dance, you didn’t know how to talk with press and the most importantly you was different person with your own memories and experiences.

I’m fully responsible for someone’s sucess now. you whispered to yourself when you left a room.

What? your menager asked you.

Nothing. I need to go to bathroom. you suddenly said.

I can’t go to female..

I know. I’m able to pee on my own. Don’t worry. you interrupted him. He looked embarrased. You entered toilet and looked around. It was only you. You wanted to try again with phone call to your mom. You only wanted to hear her voice. The last time there was no answer. Maybe she changed her number? It’s been ten years. Your heart was beating so fast and then you heard someone’s voice.

Hello?

You froze. Female voice asked again. It sounded exactly like your sister’s. But she was living in Busan and you wasn’t that close.

H-Hello? you stuttered.

Who’s there?

You knew she couldn’t recognize you when your voice was different so you found a new solution.

Hello. Is it Mrs.Kang‘s phone?

Oh.. Yes. But she can’t talk. Your sister answered.

When can I call her then?

Who are you? She asked you after a while. She was always suspicious.

I’m.. Sun Min’s friend from high school. I lost her number and some of former friends wanted to meet up.

I’m sorry.. You probably didn’t know it. She said with tensed voice. My sister is dead for ten years.

Suddenly you wasn’t able to make any sound. You even couldn’t move. It felt like you was close to fainting.

I’m really sorry but I can’t help you. I thought that all of her friends knew. I’m at the hospital. Our mother had a stroke few months ago.

Then you could only hear her crying. And you was crying with her. On the other side of line. When you already disconnected and fell to the ground. Your sob mingled with a sound of falling crutches.

Mom.. I’m sorry. You sobbed loudly and touched your chest with pain. It felt like something was tearing apart inside of you. I’m dead, I’m dead..

What’s happening there? some low voice came out behind a door.

I’m dead.. I died. You kept repeating in silent voice. Tears were still falling. You saw long legs in black, laquered boots in front of you.

Hana? What happend?

You looked up. Choi Seunghyun was standing in the doorstep.

Where’s you menager? he kept asking. Some man behind him, moved closer and picked up your crutches. They both looked shocked and you slowly realized that you was sitting in the middle of the public toilet with probably blurred make-up and red eyes. This pain inside was so strong and you couldn’t do anything. And you didn’t want to move. Do anything.

Come on. Seunghyun said and grabbed your hands. You forced yourself to stand up.

Hana!

Your manager showed up. Tht other man gave you crutches and put sunglasses on your face.

That’s better when you’re leaving in front of many people. he suggested.

What’s going on? I only left to buy coffe. Your menager said.

Why did you leave her when you know she has problems with walking now? Seunghyun said with irritation. You looked into his eyes behind dark glasses. His eyes had so deep, dark shade and thick lashes.

Aish.. She always drinks coffe at this hour. I thought it won’t take that long. Your manager kept whining when four of you walked corridor.

Thank you. I’m thankful. You said to T.O.P and grabbed his hand. He shuddered with surprise.

Are you ok? You don’t seem good. Why did you cry? Men next to him- probably his manager asked.

It’s this accident.. you started and tears started falling down your cheeks again.

Aigoo.. She’s still stressed. Let’s go home, Hana. You can drink coffe in car. You manager said and took you by hand. Thank you for help. He said to T.O.P and his manager.

Hi. Here are links to my new fanficion about GDragon.

https://betweenlifeandfiction.tumblr.com/post/172594077630/g-dragon-fanficion-another-me-part-1