#gavcon

but actually, and hear me out, what if gavin's apology is belated. very belated. like, what if the dust has settled and years have gone by, and it isn't that he didn't want to apologise sooner, but it can be such a fucking hard thing to do. to apologise to someone. and connor was so ready to let their history slip between their fingers and disappear somewhere far behind them, and then time passed, and passed, and passed. and they are lying in the dark. connor is asleep (or in rest mode or whatever the shit, gavin doesn't actually know what he does at night, he's never thought to ask,) and he should probably be asleep, too. but instead, he is awake, and he is thinking, and he is, "sorry." / the glow of connor's led on the wall goes for a moment from a dim blue to a flickering yellow. "mmh—what?" / "i'm sorry." / "what have you done now?" gavin rolls over, hooks a leg across connor's hips and pulls himself up, sitting with a knee on each side of his waist. connor glares at him, of course, because he's always in a bit of a bitch first thing. "gavin." / "for before," gavin says, "when you—how i treated you at first." / connor stares, blinking. then, "that was four years ago." / "i know." / "and you're only just feeling sorry for it now?" / gavin snorts, cracks a smile. "yeah, all right, no need to be a prick," he says, "i've—you know, i've been sorry, i just." he shakes his head, licking his lips. connor's hands are on his stomach, palms pressed to his skin, flat and cool and impossibly still. "i've been thinking it instead of saying it. i guess i thought, i dunno, like maybe if enough time passed, it would start to feel easier. but it didn't, and then too much time had passed and—" / "i already knew," connor says, "i knew the first time you kissed me, you didn't need to say it." / "yes," gavin tells him, "connor, i did." / connor lies there, pinned comfortably beneath gavin's weight. his hair is spread in a mess of brown curls on the pillow above him. and when he finally slides his hands around to anchor against gavin's lower back and reaches for him with his mouth, every kiss tastes like i forgive you. i forgive you. i forgive you. i forgive you.