#garbiel

Laying your head on the simple cloth covered pillow, you knew sleep would not come easily. Dipping your face further into the cotton, that familiar smell ignited your senses. Dean. Like a memory from a dream, the familiar scent that was all him only made your heart beat faster as you breathed it in. The ache you felt inside only grew stronger as the thoughts of the unknown plagued your mind. In just a month, you had quickly found the world you had thought you had known, was intertwined with theirs. Surely nothing good would come of this. With every new twist and turn, the nightmare you had kept a secret was now growing stronger. You were a monster. 

Reaching towards the old photographs that laid on the nightstand next to you, you allowed your eyes to document them deep into your memory. The smiling face of Dean with his mother’s arms wrapped around him provided a little relief that at least within the Winchester’s world there was love to be found. Moving to the other photo, the one of your father standing proudly with the two boys that have changed your world, you felt a tiny drop of a tear falling down your face. This was a family, one that you would never know. 

The small tears continued to fall from your eyes while the thoughts of what might have been came to your mind. Their lives were far from simple or perfect. It was definitely not like the Home and Gardens lifestyle that you had grown up in, but it was theirs. The simplicity of surviving and striving for the good of all mankind was the life you had often admired from your encounters with other hunters. They did not care about the Gucci bags, pushing your way forward in a prestigious career, or having the perfectly maintained white picket fenced house. They just wanted to protect their loved ones, while saving others in the process. 

Letting out a deep breath you sat yourself up, wiping the wetness from your face. Dean’s room was like a living museum of his life. The weapons hanging on the wall all primed to use at a moments notice, told you that he often never allowed himself to rest. That was definitely something that you had in common. Nights where you obtained more than 6 hours were a strange luxury that most likely meant that you had been drugged or knocked unconscious. The meticulously alphabetically organized albums in the milk crate made you smile, that like you he desired for their to be some sort of order in his life. The few casual and dress shirts amongst a couple of suits told the story of his adventures. There was a little blood stain on one of the sleeves, perhaps his own and old dirt markings on the cuffs of his pants. Although there was no designer labels along any of them, they all represented the care that he took in himself, and the pride he had in his appearance. Most often hunter’s looked like grungy, tired old men who had recently woke up in the middle of the woods, so there was appreciation that he took the time to take care of himself in the midst of it all.

You moved around the room, not finding sleep but intrigue in who Dean Winchester really was. Opening a wooden box on his dresser you let out a laugh at the Busty Asian Beauties magazines also neatly organized. For porn magazines, they were actually very well maintained and not worn out along the pages. He was actually gentle with them, definitely not how you were with him a few nights ago back in Sioux Falls. The memory of that night sent a shudder throughout your body, almost like your nerves were screaming to do it again. It couldn’t happen again, you had already decided. With everything going on, it was not just about the two of you anymore, there was something more goin on around you that you could not and would not allow a silly crush to interfere with.

Giving up on the thought of sleep you made your way out the door to the long hall. Glancing down both ends to your sides you wondered which way you should go. You closed your eyes tightly, listening for the sounds of the residents and their pet angel. Hearing muffled sounds coming from the area that you had first arrived at, of what you assumed to be the library, you followed as they continued. You had almost made your way into the room to be seen when you heard Castiel talking a little louder, specifically about you. You kept your back against the door frame as you heard them continue, awaiting for when you should enter.

“We do not have time dealing with some girls family drama,” Castiel spoke with command in his voice.

“Cas, it’s not like we have any other leads right now,” Dean interjected. “We will find a way to get Gabriel to help and we will bring Jack and mom back. We are stuck now, so we just have to keep moving. It’s not like there is some way to just magically fix all of this crap.”

“Locating the grace of an archangel should be your only concern,” Castiel growled before you could hear the sigh in his voice. “Dean, I understand that you have feelings for this...girl, but we do not know what she is.”

“What do you mean? What she is?” Dean exclaimed.

“She is not like anything I have ever encountered before,” Castiel stated calmly. “I do not know if she poses as a threat to our current predicament. Perhaps she has only arrived here now as a part of a grand scheme from one of your enemies. You must be careful.”

“Look Cas, I was with Dean when we met her,” Sam spoke up. “I believe everything that she has told us so far. I mean, yeah it's weird that she is connected to us in so many ways, but if you could only see the sincerity in her eyes, the anger in her voice… Cas, she I think she genuinely just wants our help.”

“And what about finding Gabriel?”

“Well, actually it seems that Y/N, has had some history with him,” Sam answered. “Outside, I happened to mention him, but she didn’t really say much about him before Dean came out.”

“You believe that she is able to contact him and bring him back?” Castiel inquired in perplexment.

The question moved you from your hiding spot, to met the wide eyes of the Winchesters, gulping hard in anxiety about what you had possibly heard.

“Calling Gabriel doesn’t work, he never answers,” you said while moving to sit on the edge of the wooden desk. “At least he hasn’t for a very long time.”

“How do you know of the archangel Gabriel?” Castiel demanded, staring at you intently for the answer.

“Well that is a long story,” you replied while shifting your eyes to the brothers settling themselves down to listen to your story. “When I was a little girl he came to me. It was around the time when I really started questioning things around myself...what I was seeing. He is the one who taught me what everything was and also what to do to with it.”

“You see him over there?” Gabriel stated while pointing towards a man with a greenish tinted light. “He’s a ghoul. They take on the form whatever human they last consumed.”

“So how do I kill it?” your twelve year old self inquired, while standing a little taller.

He smiled at your enthusiasm and shook his head. “Take off the head and you take out the monster.”

“Well what are we waiting for?”

“Hold on there little warrior,” he laughed while grabbing your arm. “You can’t just go around chopping off people's heads all willy-nilly”

“He’s not a person, you just said so yourself,” you bickered in response.

“Not everything that looks like a monster is one, and not everything that looks like a regular Joe Shmoo should be trusted. It was all in the big guy’s plan. You know the whole idea of free will? Everything has it, it was what you choose to do with it that makes you a monster.”

“So Gabriel was your Yoda?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“Basically. He would show up every once in awhile without really any reasoning behind his visits but to give me another lesson into the world of the supernatural.”

“When was the last time you saw him?” Sam spoke up.

“Like, maybe 11 years ago I think?” you replied while trying to remember back to that time. “He was really off, definitely not the same that he had been.”

“You have been busy lately,” you heard the familiar voice say from behind you. Turning your head to see the grinning angel, you wiped the dirt from the fresh grave you had just dug off on your shirt.

“It’s not like these demons are going to stop anytime soon. Seems to be more and more of them lately.”

“Yeah, someone left the door open a little too long,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “So how are you doing kid?”

“Hanging in there I guess,” you rolled your eyes. “It’s been awhile since you have graced me with your presence, so what is up now?”

“Things are getting a little noisey from the family, something big is going to go down soon between the bags of dicks I call brothers.”

“Michael and Lucifer?” you asked with your voice a little more raised. “I thought he was in a cage?”

“He is, for now,” Gabriel replied while moving towards you.

“What do you mean? For now? Gabe, if Lucifer gets out someone has to stop him,” you exclaimed in panic. “We have to do something.”

“We will not being doing anything,” he said while pointing back and forth between the two of you. “Take my advice and go run away to Cabo and enjoy the beaches, better yet find a nuclear bomb shelter and hide there forever. When it’s all done, the world is not going to be as fluffy with rainbows and sparkles as it is now.”

“What the hell is your problem?” You fumed. “You are telling me that basically the apocalypse is going to happen and you want me to go run away? No I won’t listen to it.”

“You have no idea what my brothers are capable of,” he retorted giving you a hardened look.

“Do you have any idea what YOU are capable of?” You shot back. “You are an archangel that I have seen do some incredible things like nothing else. Why can’t you see what I see.”

He stared at you deadpanned, no change of light or emotion to be found.

“I think the lessons have now ended Y/N,” he replied in a monotone voice.

“Gabriel,” you sighed heavily. “Look I know family sucks, but you can’t just roll over and let this happen.”

“Goodbye Y/N,” he said with a snap of his fingers, never to be seen again.

“That was the last time I saw him,” you sighed while moving a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve tried calling him. Praying when things really got bad. Like when all the Angels fell years ago. I didn’t know…”

“He was not amongst them. Actually, he has been held captive by a Prince of Hell for quite some time,” Castiel informed you. You nodded your head to him, to show you understood.

“Yeah, well I’m sure whatever happened to him he deserved it,” You pursed your lips up. “Things just kept getting worse around here, and he just left without a care.”

“You said he used to answer you?” Sam asked with suspicion. “Why did he do that?”

“I really don’t know,” you shrugged. “I mean he had told me that I was something special, that there was no one like me. I guess for whatever reason I interested him.”

“Would…” Dean spoke up nervously, bringing your attention to him. “I mean, would you or do you think you could try again?”

“Make a phone call to save the world from impending doom? Sure, but I wouldn’t put all my nickels on it,” you nodded. “Like I said he didn’t care back then, so I doubt he will give a damn now.”

“Tell him it’s of grave importance,” Castiel chimed in. You have the angel a side glance before shutting them in prayer.

“Gabriel. It’s Y/N, we need to talk. There is a lot of shit going down right now, that only you can help with. I need you. Please Gabriel. Let me know you are at least listening.”

You fluttered you eyes open and looked around the room, hoping that your words might have been heard by him. Everything remained the same in its place, bringing a sigh of disappointment from all the occupants in the room.

“Try it again!” Castiel bellowed making your face turn to anger towards him.

“Cas, dude,” Dean interjected whole shaking his head. “He’s not listening to any of us. We will figure this out.”

Castiel stormed out of the room glaring at your direction. You kept your position, keeping your eyes back on him as he moved out. The sound of the chair next to you legs moving on the floor, turned your attention to Sam moving up from his seat.

“Okay, so we still have things we can be doing,” he said while leaning himself onto the table using his hands for balance. “I’m going to go grab some boxes.”

“This is a mistake,” you shook your head, making him stop in his tracks. “You two have more important things to do right now. Besides that, your little boyfriend doesn’t seem to like me or want me here.”

“Cas just has a lot going on right now,” Dean spoke up, looking to the empty doorway. “We will figure it out. We will figure this all out. Together. You’re family now Doc.”

The next 27 hours the three of you worked through every file in the ancient cardboard boxes. Going through the last entries of dead men who might have had a reasoning to who or what you were was exhausting. Dean would slip away only for a couple moments to provide fuel for your brains in the form of the best tasting hamburgers and coffee that you had ever had.

“You can cook?”

“I’m not just a pretty face,” he winked back before stuffing his face with the product of his labor.

You would laugh back at his little jokes while you continued in your search for answers. It seemed like you were on the quest for an item that didn’t exist. The truth. Castiel had made his way back after a few hours, and while he sat in silence going through his own pile, you would catch him staring at you out of the corner of his eyes.

“You know you would read faster if your eyes were on the pages Asstiel,” you blatantly would state.

A little chuckle would come from Sam and Dean to your comments towards the angel who was trying to find the answers on your face. He would mumble out an apology before going back to the files.

Tiredness was overcoming you when you felt like you had hit a dead end in your search. You tossed the folder down to you and laid your head into your arms on the table while closing your eyes.

“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Sam suggested. “We can keep going.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” you replied without moving your head up to him. “I’ll sleep long enough when I’m dead.”

“That will be sooner than later if you don’t stop beating yourself up,” Dean suggested, which made you raise your head slightly to glare at him. “Why don’t we all take a little break to recharge ourselves? Get back to it in a few hours?”

You let out a deep sigh and nodded. You didn’t want to stop, but you knew he was right. The words on the pages were starting to jumble and you were pretty sure that you had been reading the same sentence for the last hour.

Sitting up straight you stretched your arms above your head. A whiff of your lack of showering hit your nose, turning it up in disgust.

“Maybe a shower too,” you replied. “I think I smell worse than a fresh corpse right now.”

“You aren’t that bad,” Dean laughed while moving over to you as you stood up.

He placed his hand on the small of your back guiding you out of the room before turning up is nose in jest. “Never mind, I guess YOU ARE that BAD,” he grinned widely making you smack him playfully on his stomach. “Let’s get you to the shower stinky.”

_________________________________________________________

Watching the two of you leave Castiel glanced over at Sam in amusement.

“It is nice to see Dean smile for once. Perhaps I was wrong about Y/N.”

Sam let out a breath of laughter. “Yeah Cas, for whatever reason I think this is the happiest I’ve seen him in years.”

“They have a strong connection,” Castiel stated. “It is not witchcraft or anything like that, but you can see it. No, it is almost kismet.”

Sam back in his chair thinking about the words that Castiel had just said. Kismet? Yeah, probably. What other reason could there be that they were just fit together so well? Maybe she was the salvation that Dean had been looking for. A reason to finally care about living, maybe giving him the proof that he was more than just a nobody in the world. Just maybe, she would be the one to save him.

_______________________________________________________

Dean led you to the shower room and handing you a towel as you entered. It reminded you of the locker rooms in high school that your teenaged insecure self used to dread.

“There is soap, shampoo, and conditioner,” Dean stated while pointing at the little shower caddy on the floor. “Basic stuff you need. Nothing too fancy.”

“Not very private,” you laughed. “I guess the men of letters were a very open group.”

Dean chuckled lightly in return. “Yeah, well don’t worry Doc. I’ll keep watch outside for you so nobody bothers you.”

You turned your face to his, only inches away where you could feel his hot breath hitting your face. Your heart started to beat a little faster as you flashed a smile while saying thank you while moving further into the room.

True to his word Dean left you to be alone while you showered. The hot water running down you felt nice over your aching joints from sitting for so long. Each bottle you opened gave you the distinct scent of Dean, which you happily applied and lathered up to clean yourself.

After throwing on a loose fitting t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts you made your way out of the room where Dean stood patiently. Your wet y/h/c hair laid unkempt down your head, leaving the top of your shirt soaked. He cleared his throat a little loudly before escorting you back to his room.

“Here you take my room, I’ll go take the one next door,” he said before turning to walk back out the door.

“Dean?” You said making him stop and turn in his tracks. “I feel bad kicking you out of your own bed. I mean it is big enough for both of us to sleep for a while.”

“Are you sure about that?” He asked with hesitation. “I mean, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I think we are past the point now where sharing a bed is considered uncomfortable. I mean, we did sleep with each other,” you smirked slowly from the corner of your mouth.

“Yeah, well if I remember correctly there was not much sleeping involved,” he grinned back.

“Yeah well, that was then. Now? Now I want to pass out and say screw consciousness.”

“You read my mind Doc,” he smiled while moving over to the side of the bed opposite of you.

The two of you climbed in, both with your backs toward one another as he shut off the light that was illuminating the room. It didn’t take you long to drift off to sleep where the nightmares had begun.

There was a woman crying on a cool metal table in excruciating pain. Light was shining down at her, distorting your vision as men were surrounding her in old fashioned doctor gowns speaking incoherently. Another woman reached out and grabbed her hand, telling her it will be alright. Her long neatly curled red hair surrounded her porcelain skin as she smiled gently at the tormented woman. You heard the sound of a baby crying as the screams grew louder from her. The comforting red haired woman looked down at the other woman when her blue eyes turned black.

Jumping straight up in the bed out of your sleep you could feel the sweat pouring down you skin. Your heart beating uncontrollably with your breath trying to catch itself in your heaving chest.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Dean asked while staring at you frightened from your startled awakening.

“I don’t... I don’t know. It was a dream,” you rasped out. “There was a woman crying in pain with men all around her. She was giving birth and a demon… a demon was right there with her. Dean it was so real.”

You dropped your head into you hands as you could feel the pain of the woman succumbing you, causing tears to once again fall. Dean wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest. He ran his fingers through your damp hair, whispering that it was only a dream.

“Dean, it wasn’t just a dream,” you cried. “I think… I think it has something to do with this place. With me.”

“Come on,” he said while letting go of you and standing himself  up. “Let’s go see if the others have any ideas.”

________________________________________________________

Sam tried to push himself further into the files, but he had managed to succumb to sleep where he sat. It must have been a few hours when Castiel nudged him to go and sleep properly in a bed, which his aching back could only agree with. He stretched in his seat, considering moving from the task in front of him when he looked down at the file he had drooled a little on.

Dean and Y/N both walked through the archway together, looking still sleep deprived, but yet more alert as he read the words in front of him.

“So check this,” he stated loudly to bring the attention to him.

Y/N gave Dean a confused sideways glance as he just shrugged and said “it’s his thing. Just go with it.”

“Have you found something Sam?” Castiel asked while furrowing his eyes to the pages above Sam’s shoulder.

“November 5, 1955. The twins were born today. Both relatively healthy under the guidance of Cuthbert Sinclair, Henry Winchester and Josie Sands. The mother survived, although there were complications during the childbirth process. The first born, Abigail was strong and even at birth displayed such remarkable progress in her development. The second born, y/m/n was not has promising. During the delivery it was skeptical of her survival, proving that she was not as strong as her sister. Abigail’s future is promising toward the Men of Letters ultimate goal of creating the perfect specimen of defense against the darkness in the world.”

________________________________________________________

As Sam finished you felt his eyes land towards you, along with the others. Sister? Twin sister? No that couldn’t be. She never said anything about her. Why wouldn’t she of told you?

“Y/N, y/m/n was your mom’s name right? She was born in 1955,” Sam spoke up with sympathy in his voice.

“I...I didn’t know she had a sister,” you stammered out as you felt all the emotions hitting you like a baseball bat.

“Josie Sands,” Dean chimed in. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

“It is the name of Abaddon's vessel during her time amongst the Men of Letters.” Castiel stated while keeping his gaze toward you. “Your mother and her sister were created using dark magic for the purpose of becoming weapons against the evil.”

“My Mom never had any powers or special abilities,” you replied tearfully . “She was just a normal mom. A boring history professor who died of a normal, non magical disease like anyone else.”

“It is in your blood,” Castiel confirmed. “Your mother may have not been afflicted, but you, her daughter was born with the burden they had ignorantly placed upon your family.”

His words stabbed deep into your gut where you could feel the bile coming up your throat. The words from the demon days earlier whispering in your head, “Man-made monster.” It was all true. You were the genetic byproduct of a science experiment produced by a Knight of Hell and a bunch of men who knew nothing of what they were doing. The truth you had hoped and prayed that was not real was sitting there on the table. You really were a monster.

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