#garbage app

When the girls are off enjoying New York and you’re stuck sick in bed what else is there to do but write fic? Miss you @illgetmerope and @peoplediedrobert but glad you’re having a blast!

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Losing someone is a lot, of course it is, but Aaron is numb against it. Lisa is gone and he’s frozen. Watching Belle fall apart, witnessing Zak go from glowing to desolate on his wedding day, holding Liv as she cried herself into an exhausted sleep. He knew Paddy had his Mum, but still he worries, about her, about his little sibling he so desperately wants to watch grow up. It seems to be all he does lately, he worries.

Worries for Vic, worries for Robert and Diane, Liv. Worries for David and Jacob, trying to find a place for all the things it brings up for him. It’s not about him, he knows, he understands, and yet...it hurts. He is just grateful that in some way he understands, in small way that he hopes will allow him to help, just a little.

He missed his husband before but now, now all he can think about is their wedding day, days. Imagines if he’d lost Robert then, if he lost him now, if he loses him ever. He is through with regrets, now is where they are but still he longs to touch him, solid muscle and clinking wedding rings. He’s desperate for it.

Robert is where he should be, where he is needed. Aaron feels guilty for being selfish, instead pulls out his phone to watch a video of Robert and Seb from a few weeks ago. His boys, as if things can ever be that simple, yet they are. Because Rob’s eye roll and Seb’s squeal on the little screen settle him, make it easier to breathe.

He’s watching it for the fifth time, wearing his wrinkled white shirt and suit, curled up on Robert’s side of the bed, wrapped in his husband’s scent when the call comes in. A video call, they’re that couple now, have been for a while if he’s honest.

Robert has watery eyes but a small smile on his lips when he comes into view, it’s enough to get Aaron fighting back tears of his own.

“Aaron, you should have called.”

Robert’s voice is gentle, comforting and Aaron has to close his eyes against the wave of everything he’s feeling.

“I was going to, but with Vic you have enough to worry about.” Aaron, he can be the strong one, he knows he can. He is, Robert helped him learn that.

“Aaron.” His husband knows him.

“How?”

“Diane, I finally convinced Vic to call her back. It was good, for both of them I think.”

“I’m glad. And you?” He opens eyes to take in his husbands beautiful face. He’s got that look in his eyes, the one that makes Aaron feel safe and seen. His walls are starting to crumple.

“I’m okay.” It’s two simple words but Aaron holds them close, lets his thumb stroke the line of Robert’s jaw on his screen.

“I love you so much.” It’s deep, his throat feels like it’s tightening by the second. He needs Robert to hear it, know it, but more than anything Aaron needs to say it.

hnHNhvdhg i l ove you to 2

But this beautiful message didnt appear in my inbox soo my tumbly aint workin