#g7snet

The three of them were eating lunch at Bambam’s restaurant. The atmosphere was peaceful, marked with some witty comments and threats. Jinyoung’s lack of sleep was making him react like a nagging grandfather, which seemed to be very amusing to his friends.

“How’s the Love Industry by the way?” Bambam asked, leaning on his chair while holding a huge glass.

“Loaded with fools, as usual.” Jinyoung answered. It was true, love was foolish after all.

“Look at him being sour!” Yugyeom accused and nodded at Bambam who made a face.

“You need to get some, buddy.” He explained and Yugyeom squealed.

“Told you! Told you! Bambam agrees!” He jumped and tapped Jinyoung’s shoulder.

The latter didn’t flinch. “I’m managing my libido just fine, thank you for your concern.”

“Tcheeh, you look nothing but frustrated, now.” Bambam concluded before approaching an annoyed Jinyoung “I’ll help you get some nice chicks.” He whispered with a wink.

“No thanks. I’m far from being interested in your weird tastes concerning hook-ups. Also, you’re both way too young to know shit about how this works. You sound like horny puppies and it’s quite disgusting.” He took a napkin and wiped his mouth carefully.

“Horny pup- what?” Bambam looked shocked as Yugyeom patted his friend’s back.

“He is always like this.” Yugyeom said and Bambam nodded, unimpressed.

“is he sick?” He whispered to Yugyeom who genuinely shrugged.

Jinyoung sighed loudly and they both stopped midway, blinking at him. “I am perfectly fine. Now can we please talk about something else and enjoy this lunch? I have to go in less than 30 minutes.” He took his fork again and concentrated on his food.

“A date?” Bambam mouthed to Yugyeom who shook his head.

“Client. A girl, cute one.” He mouthed back and Bambam’s mouth turned into a small o.

“So he IS gonna get some.” He wriggled his brows and Jinyoung put the fork a bit too loudly on the table, glaring at his friends.

“I can hear you!”

---

“You are awesome.”

Jinyoung didn’t expect her to be this blunt just as he took a seat in front of her, at the usual café.

“I mean. It’s awesome. It feels like the stars connected. Everything’s great. I LOVE IM JAEBUM.” You said next.

Your coach made a face. “I just had lunch, don’t make me throw up, please.” His hand went to his chest.

You brushed his comment off. “He kissed me. HE.KISSED.ME.” You giggled and tapped your feet on the ground like a child.

“It’s not surprising.” The waiter put a mug in front of him and he nodded at her.

You shook your head. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. You’re just…it’s like…you’re a real-life cupid!” you were too excited to see his bewildered face. “Anyways! I still need you, coach.” You clapped your hands. “I need to be irresistible now. I want to keep him!” You whispered with a weird voice.

“He likes you. I don’t think you need my help anymore. You simply wanted me to help you have him and honestly, I didn’t do much since he is as weird as you.” Jinyoung took a sip from his coffee.

“No but…advices. I need to know one or two things about relationships. I’m clueless.” You mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

Jinyoung tilted his head. Was she even for real? Until now he had helped a lot of people in the mating field. Meeting this person had been a challenge from the beginning, because number one, he didn’t help girls usually, and second, she was way too weird for his liking.

But again, he was acting a lot different from his usual self.

“What do I need to do, then?” Jinyoung inquired and you stopped moving.

“I have a date next Monday. It’s going to be at the movie theatre.” He looked like he understood right away.

“Based on what kind of movie he wants to see; you’ll know what he truly means.” Jinyoung explained and you took your notepad again, nodding.

The coach lifted his fingers one after another “Horror: He wants you all over him. Comedy: He wants to charm you with humour. Action: He wants to come off as manly. Art movie: he wants to show you he cares. Romance: he wants to show you his affectionate side.”

“I see I see. Do I need to…get some fancy clothes or something?” You stopped writing to look at him.

Jinyoung shrugged “Stay casual.” The memory of the colourful dress almost sent shivers down his spine.

You nodded “and if he gets…intimate? I mean. Do I need to…?”

Jinyoung raised a hand to stop you. “This is up to you. There’s nothing you need to do unless you want to do it. What you do with your body is up to you BUT, don’t feel obliged to do anything because you want him to love you. Dating shouldn’t be about that.”

He didn’t know why he was digging too much into the subject. He saw you write some more on your notepad and wondered if you were really writing this down. You closed your notepad, smiled cheekily at him and he got up, hoping to get some sleep for the day.

---

A date.

You were panicking. Clothes were flying down your room, along with your sanity. Jaebum was supposed to arrive in less than 5 minutes and you barely had put on your bra, almost falling with excitement.

Casual was supposed to be comfy and nice, yet you were fighting inwardly. The weather was supposed to be warm, and this whole date was probably going to set your face on fire until you’d come back home.

If you come back home alone.

You jumped, yelling. No, no, let’s not think about that. Jaebum was a gentleman with manners. He will probably simply kiss you goodnight after a nice evening full of cuddles in front of some romantic movie. You threw on some pair of jeans and took a grey tee-shirt. This will do.

The doorbell rang and you pulled on your messy bun so hard you almost ripped some hair. You shook your head and let the bangs fall, wild. You looked at your jean’s zipper then blew on your hand, smelling it. Minty. With one last breath you glanced at your replica of Pieter Bruegel’s Landscape with the Fall of Icarus.

You whispered, eyes panicked “Wish me good luck, Icarus.” and opened the door.

Jaebum was dressed in a plain white tee-shirt with heavily ripped jeans. He waved at you and you waved back, probably as embarrassed as him. You didn’t notice this, too caught up in trying to keep your messy stance.

“Ready?” He said simply and you acquiesced.

“Yes, let me grab my bag.” You rushed back inside and grabbed your keys in the process. If anything, you needed some courage, now.

Your coach was going to be so proud of you.

“Here, all set.” You wriggled the keys in front of him and he chuckled.

“So, about the movie…” Jaebum started. You were both walking awkwardly to downtown. Jaebum had done nothing to initiate a sort of contact, but you were glad he was keeping a distance.

You wouldn’t be able to bear holding his hand without fainting.

“There’s this comedy Jackson saw last week and he told me it was quite good; how does it sound?” He tried carefully and you looked at him.

Comedy: He wants to charm you with humour.

“Sure, I’d love to see it. I don’t know much about cinema.” You admitted. It’s not like you didn’t like cinema or movie theatres, you just never really thought about it. Jaebum beamed sweetly and your heart made backflips in your chest.

You grimaced as soon as he looked away. There was no way you’d survive this.

The place wasn’t crowded, considering it was Monday. Jaebum insisted on paying for the both of you and you thanked him a lot of times. Six times exactly. Most of the people seated looked like couples. There were only a few group of friends and it made you panic. Pressure.

“Is here good for you?” he pointed at an empty raw of seats a bit far from the centre. “not too far?”

You violently shook your head. Honestly, he could ask you to watch from the toilets and you would agree nonetheless.  You both sat down and he handed you the small popcorn box he had been holding until now. You gripped it tightly and refused to let it go. At least it would occupy your hands.

The trailers started and the lights softly went off, subduing the whole room. People stopped talking and you were left with a silent Jaebum and a crazy mind. You leant on your seat and shivered. The air conditioner was at full blast and you regretted not taking a jacket with you. This was going to be a long evening.

When the movies started, you relaxed a bit and refused to look to your side. Your hand was jumping into the popcorn box from time to time, carefully avoiding Jaebum’s hand. It was way too cliché for your liking, no matter how much you secretly enjoyed the thought. The movie was enjoyable; people were laughing from time to time and you were forcing out a laugh when you didn’t get it. Jaebum looked concentrated, head leaning on his arm and eyes serious. He looked so handsome and mysterious when you glanced at him with what you thought was discretion.

You looked at the movie again and it suddenly hit you. Movie theatres were like moving paintings. Images were coming on and off, each and every time different. Some scenes were beautiful, with oceans and birds. You tilted your head and smiled at the thought of painting such a scenery, in the middle of nowhere.

You felt Jaebum move and loved at him. His lips were moving but didn’t hear a thing as a motorcycle was driving at a distance in the movie. He looked like he noticed because he leaned and softly breathed his question into your now burning ear.

“Do you like it so far?” You could only nod, silent.

He smiled warmly and stopped a minute to look at your face. He looked deep in thoughts and you blinked, not knowing what to do. His lips started moving…

…and people started laughing so hard it made you both jump with surprise. Jaebum looked at the movie again and you sighed, closing your eyes. You didn’t know if you should thank or curse them for being so loud.

But a minute later you heard his voice again whispering against your face. “You’re beautiful” he breathed, before pecking your cheek softly. You could feel your hands going moist with embarrassment and you coughed, not daring enough to face him. He chuckled and took your hand, pulling him between his.

You forgot how to breathe.

From that point on, you concluded it would be impossible to concentrate on the movie, and certainly not when he was drawing small patterns on the back of your hand with a delicate touch. He looked so chill about it, even amused at times. You were struggling with the popcorn box and decided not to eat anymore. You’d be able to choke on the food if he were to be even softer anyways.

You were glad though, because it felt good. Apart from feeling totally helpless, you loved the attention he was giving you. It was unbelievable, you were with Jaebum, alone, at the movie theatre, and he was being lovey-dovey.

Wait, you were dating Im Jaebum.

You giggled at the thought and saw Jaebum look at you from the corner of your eyes just before feeling a light squeeze on your hand. If this was a dream, your mind was way too imaginative and you didn’t want to wake up from such wonderful thoughts. Credits appeared at some point, but you were too smug to notice. Your eyes were staring blankly at the list of names on the screen, thinking about how lucky you were to be with such a wonderful human being.

“It’s over, Y/N” His voice made you blink and you landed back on earth with the same smug smile on your face. He didn’t say much and simply shook his head, pulling on your hand still trapped in his to make you stand up.

“I’m freezing, let’s get out of here.” You noticed your arms were cold and shivered, as if you were slowly entering your body after a long non-attendance.

He was a calm person, enjoying a peaceful walk around town. You didn’t mind because you knew how he was. All these moments of adoration had helped in pinpointing his personality, after all. He didn’t let go of your hand, not even when you arrived in front of your doorstep. You found yourself feeling shy again and glanced up and down, from the deep green grass to the dark clouds.

“I’m sorry I had to practice again today. I wish we could have spent more time together.” He looked disappointed in himself so you shook your head violently at him.

“No, it’s fine! I’m happy we could have a… date.” You spoke too fast and it was messy, you didn’t know if he was going to acknowledge the word “date” and it made you nervous but at some point, you were sweating too much to care.

“Yes! I’m happy too. I hope you had a good time. I’ll do better next time.”

He looked so adorable.

“oh, um, yes.” He said next time. He.said.next.time. He didn’t want to escape after one date. You swore you could feel some goblin dancing inside your stomach. The feeling was overwhelming.

So you got ahead of yourself spoke again, because it didn’t make sense at all. “I just…don’t understand how I am able to date you. It feels unreal.” You wanted to tell him he was too perfect for you, but you knew your coach was going to roast you alive for being such a fool.

“What?” Jaebum grinned. “I didn’t know how to ask you out. I’ve been bugging Jackson for the past weeks about that. I’m not good with these things actually.” He brought his hand to the back of his head and scratched his scalp, the same smile never leaving his lips.

So he did liked you.

You smiled just as he approached you, quickly grabbing your face to kiss you and it felt like heaven. You almost let your bag fall on the ground when you felt his body against yours, demanding but soft. Jaebum was indeed passionate. You kissed him back, finally pouring out all these untold feelings while your arms circled his shoulders like claws. You didn’t want to let go but at some point he parted from you, lips wet and a bit more pink than usual. His eyes stayed closed, and you saw his tongue graze over his lips.

“I think I’ll head back now.” Jaebum was also all over the place, breath heavy and shaky and it hit you suddenly. He was actually as shook as you right now. You wanted to invite him inside, because his presence was like a secret energy you needed to function, but at the same time, it was best to let him go. You didn’t want things to happen this way. Maybe you were being too romantic or old-fashioned, but you needed things to be right and mesmerizing. You wanted everything to be perfect.

Jaebum seemed to agree “Next time you’ll come over and I’ll cook or you.” You knew he was planning on doing things in the right order, and it made him even more amazing than he already was.

“Sure, I’ll look forward to it.” You answered. Jaebum kissed you again before putting a strand of hair back behind your ear, the same adorable same lighting up the whole city.

You opened your door when he disappeared in your alley and leaned against it as soon as it was closed.

Icarus was almost smiling at you.

---

Life was good. Studying was great. Everything was just amazing. This was pretty much your state all day long. The cute texts you were receiving from Jaebum were making you dance with joy, even in the middle of the street. Mark blinked at you for the whole day while you were singing, whistling and giggling.

You saw Jaebum before he had to practice and in the middle of all the busy students he strolled to you, fancy and cool in his black sweatpants and tank top to steal a kiss before going back to a teasing Jackson who received a slap behind the head for being so childish.  

You closed your eyes and clutched your heart while Mark laughed at you. He was glad you were finally getting somewhere with your long-time crush.

The same night you had to go to your parent’s gallery. They had organized a private viewing and needed you to be one of the host. It wasn’t easy though, considering your body was sore and you had a terrible cough. Maybe the air conditioner yesterday evening had been a bit too much for you. You decided to go anyways, because it wasn’t that bad, and also because you loved talking about art.

Your wiped your nose and stood in the middle of the gallery, greeting the people gathering. They all looked posh, with suits and wrapped in luxury brands. Your father had prepared champagne for the occasion, and you wondered when did this became such a fancy place.

“You look sick.” You mother said before handing you a tissue, worried. You were both standing in a corner while your father was busy talking with a bunch of old people.

“I am sick. I’m okay, don’t worry.” You assure her. She nodded at you and you heard a woman, with long combed hair and deep red nail polish.

You mother took her sweetest voice and went to her, kissing both her cheeks.

“You look sick.” You jumped when your father spoke and nodded again, sniffing for the umpteenth time.

“I am sick.” You repeated.

“Take care of yourself and come check this amazing painting I did yesterday. Your mother says it’s awful and wanted to burn it.” He stopped you in front of a white canvas covered in the small black dots.

“This is…?” No matter how much you loved art, some things were still hard to catch up.

“Pointillism, sweetheart.” He explained. His goofy smile made you scoff.

“Isn’t pointillism supposed to be dots creating an image? I mean, these are black dots. Just, dots.” You tried, going to the painting to examine it.

“I can’t believe- You’re like your mother!” He looked shocked but his pout made you laugh. Your parents could be so extra sometimes.

“Told you so.” You both heard your mother whisper and turned around to see her walk toward another group of person, waving at them.

“When I’ll be famous, I’ll tell everyone I have no family.” Your father mumbled, but he suddenly lifted a hand toward the door, cheeks up and smile wide.

“Come, I’ll introduce you to someone.” He was too fast and you tried to catch up, weaving between bodies. You coughed a couple of times and apologized but what you saw made you stop, dead in tracks.

Your father had his arm around your coach.

“See? This gentleman here understands me.” His arm was moving around Jinyoung who was blinking at you. “Here is Park Jinyoung. He regularly comes and bought a couple of our paintings.” He explained. You didn’t know if you were more shocked over the fact that your father knew him, or because your coach was actually interested in art.

“He likes figurative art, so we often talk- oh wait, I’ll be back. Show him around sweetie, and please, knock some sense into my daughter’s head, she knows nothing about art.” He tapped Jinyoung on the shoulder and suddenly, you’re left alone with him.

It felt awkward.

“This place belongs to your parents.”

You nodded. “I didn’t know you were interested in art.” It was the first thing that came to your mind.

Jinyoung looked surprised “I figured we were meeting to talk about you and not me.”

His statement made you flinch, because his tone was icy, like he barely met you. You could only nod, feeling somewhat grateful that you didn’t had to actually talk to him on such a weird context.

So you casually walked away to show him around. You explained a couple of paintings and saw him look at them, concentrated. It seemed like he didn’t need you to have a look around, and you stopped talking after the fourth canvas and he stayed quiet, following you. Your parents were both busy, but you needed them now.

You needed to escape.

“How was your date?” Your coach asked, eyes glued on your father’s pointillist piece.

“Great.” You didn’t feel like talking about this right now, and even less when your parent could appear at any moment.

Jinyoung nodded and walked to the next painting. His attitude was kind of cold, and until now you had never noticed, mostly because your meetings were about your love life.

But it didn’t shock you either, because he had always been like that. It made you feel weird though.

“Nice. I guess you’re both love fools now.” He added, and you didn’t like the tone. Under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t have answered because you knew his thoughts on love, but your body was sore, your throat was on fire and you didn’t want to put up with this bullshit.

You coughed numerous times but still tried to come back at him for being so rude. “Thank you for your concern, coach”

He peeked at you and shook his head before going back to the painting. “Stop calling me coach. It feels weird, even more here.”

“Thank you for your concern-” You sniffed loudly “Park Jinyoung.” His name felt weird in your mouth. You had called him by his name maybe twice, but now it was different. It made him a bit more human.

“So, is this girl giving you a hard time?” Your father was already behind you before he could react and you thanked him silently for saving you.

“I like pointillism.” Jinyoung turned to your father “you’re planning on doing more?” you rolled your eyes. He was actually rather nice with your father.

The latter laughed “Of course! Come back any time so I can show you. I got more in my workshop, but my wife didn’t want me to invade the gallery with these.”

Jinyoung laughed with him.

It was surprising to see him laugh. He never did when he was with you. After a while, you decided your body couldn’t handle more awkward moments for the day.

“I’ll head back home, dad.” You coughed.

“Go and rest.” He quietly said, eyes warm. Jinyoung was already back to the next painting.

“Yes. I’ll call you. Mom disappeared in the crowd. Tell her I said bye, I’m too sore to look for her.” You chuckled with difficulty.

“Sure, hurry up.” He cooed.

You fled at the speed of light.

It was hard to go back home. Your bike wasn’t the best place to be on and it took twice the usual time to get back home. You needed so sleep, as soon as possible. It didn’t take long for your body to relax when you hit the mattress and you fell asleep, nose runny and body sore from a cold you definitely could have lived without.

---

“You’re not coming?” Mark’s voice was throwing jolts of pain into your head. You grumbled a couple of times, no finding your voice and heard him hum.

“You’re sick? Do you want me to come or anything?” He sounded worried and if it wasn’t for your sore throat you would have teased him. There was no way you’d let him come though, because who knew how contagious you were. You sneezed and wiped your nose. Mark made a disgusted noise.

“It’s okay. Don’t cobe. I got bedication.” You spoke funnily. Marks chuckled and you heard him agree. You got up and almost crawled to the bathroom to open a deep drown medicine cupboard full of pills and bottles.

“Call a doctor and stay at home. You need to rest.” You heard someone call after Mark and assumed it was his girlfriend because the next thing you heard were some wet sounds and a girly voice.

“Thank you, habe a nice day.” You coughed and let the phone on the cupboard, hurriedly looking for cough syrup.

Your throat was on fire.

You never knew a mere cold could weaken that much. Most of the morning was spent looking at the television, wrapped around a fluffy blanket with a cup of hot chocolate. Jaebum had important classes he couldn’t miss and you didn’t want him to worry about your condition so you didn’t send anything and simply vegetated, half dead on your couch. Lunch was too much of a chore, just as much as bathing and when your body couldn’t handle it anymore, you fell asleep on the same couch, eyelids burnings with exhaustion.

At the same time, someone was waiting, fingers tapping on marble and feet wriggling on the ground.

You were never late for your appointment.

“What can I get you?” A voice made him look up. Jinyoung blinked at the waitress and ordered the usual, not feeling like usual. He remembered one thing from meeting you yesterday, and it wasn’t the fact that you were the daughter of this gallery’s owners.

You were damn sick.

The girl put the iced coffee in front of him with a sly smile which he didn’t even notice. You were 30 minutes late and he didn’t know if he should be angry or worried. That was ridiculous, why would he be worried, it’s not like he cared. He sighed and took a sip, eyes glued on the entrance doors.

But you didn’t come, and after an hour of waiting and two iced coffees, he decided to do something he never thought he would be doing in his entire life.

It was a weird feeling, and Jinyoung knew it wasn’t normal. The fact that a client couldn’t come to an appointment wasn’t something new, and every time it happened, he had charged them an extra fee for bothering him for nothing. But today, today he didn’t care about the money or the time he had lost waiting for somebody who didn’t come. He didn’t care about the fact that he could be resting at home, and it was scaring him more than he would admit it.

Your tired face came a back to his mind so many times he wanted to hit his head against the nearest wall. Maybe you were half dead in your living-room. Maybe you never made it home yesterday. You were so hopeless and oh god, he remembered seeing you go with your bike, maybe you had an accident? He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

He hated himself for being like this. He wasn’t this type of person, he knew better than worry about some lovesick puppy. But it was not ridiculous, after all. It was normal to worry about a client.

He was just too stupid to do it before.

You opened your eyes groggily when a soft knock on the door echoed in your living-room. You checked your phone and your eyes grew wide.

12 missed calls from Jaebum.

You almost fled to the door, body in pain and blanket tight around your shaking form. You coughed, trying to get your voice back. Jaebum must have been so worried.

You opened the door slowly and tilted your head to check who it was. If anything, you needed to be careful so you wouldn’t transmit your cold to your awesome boyfriend. He didn’t need this.

But your eyes met a confused coach with black ripped jeans and a thin deep blue tee-shirt. He blinked softly at you and you opened the door wider.

What the hell was he doing here?

Your eyes narrowed, then grew wide. Damn it, the appointment. Great, he was going to roast you alive for not coming. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I should have-”

“Are you sick?” His voice was still as cold, and it sounded weird, considering he was asking about your health.

“Kind of…” You trailed off.

Jinyoung entered your flat without further delay and you closed the door behind him before reaching for the blanket to wrap yourself deeper into it.

“I waited for long.” Jinyoung’s tone was accusing, but at the same time, it held something different, which went totally unnoticed by your sick state.

“Yes I, um, sorry. I fell asleep…” You coughed again he heard him sigh. He looked angry. You didn’t see his face, he was looking around your living-room, stopping to the numerous paintings and your aching body was following him, like a very tired worm.

He turned around after a while and it startled you. “Did you paint this…?” His finger pointed to one of your first creation. You nodded.

You heard him hum, but he didn’t say much and simply turned around, breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry but…is there something I can help you with…?” You suddenly asked him. It was weird to follow him around in your own house. If he was annoyed, then he should say it and go, right?

“Did you eat?” His tone was a bit less icy when he asked and it startled you. You shook your head before coughing again.

“You should. I’ll do it.” He said next and your mouth fell opened in shock.

“No, it’s okay I can-” Your tired hands started moving awkwardly, trying to stop him but he was quick to walk away, looking for the kitchen.

“Look, you made me lose an entire afternoon. I came all the way here because you didn’t bother coming so go and sit down.” His finger pointed the sofa and once he found the kitchen, he started rummaging everywhere.

After a while he stopped moving to look at you and you understood it was best not to annoy him further with this so you went back to the living-room and sat down, silent. This guy was definitely strange. Your head fell on the couch and started dozing off, no matter how much your body didn’t want to relax in such a weird situation.

When you opened them, your plate was on your small green tray. Noodles, onions, vegetables. All of it came from your fridge. Jinyoung was next to you, waiting for you to get up.

“You made this…?” You voice came out hoarse and you saw him look at you like he was saying “obviously, who else?” so you sighed and sat properly.

His hand on your forehead made you stop moving to peek at him.

He took a washcloth “I looked around your bathroom. You’re burning, put this on.” He didn’t dare putting it on himself. No matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, he was actually taking care of you and the thought only was making him furious.

You took it and pressed it against your forehead, almost moaning at the fresh feeling. You didn’t know you needed it until you felt how cooling it was against your moist skin.

“Thanks.” Was the only word that came out of your mouth and Jinyoung acquiesced, approaching the tray to put it over your lap.

“Eat.” He ordered.

You ate.

It was still as awkward. Jinyoung was silent, arms and legs crossed over your couch. You looked at him from time to time, and noticed he was looking at his feet, deep in thought. It was even scarier.

“I’m done.” You said when you took the last piece of vegetable and he took the tray from your lap to put it back on the table.

“Now lay down, I’ll freshen the washcloth.” He said, taking it from you and getting up. You tried protesting but it was useless and he came back shortly after.

“Lay down.” He said again and you complied. You didn’t know why you did, but at some point, your body needed some rest so you didn’t move and felt him took your blanket to put it over your body.

When he kneeled next to the couch to put the cloth on your forehead, your opened your eyes and met his concentrated stare. He put it slowly and looked back at you, silent. To be honest, you had never noticed how deep his stare was. Except from the moments he had spent being done with everything you did, it was the first time that his eyes had something different than irritation. You didn’t mind his cold behaviour, but preferred the way he was looking at you right now.

For once, he didn’t make you feel like you were a ridiculous girl.

“Better…?” You flinched at his soft tone and nodded. You swore you saw him smile faintly but didn’t have time to look better.

“…Y/N?” Jaebum was standing by the living-room’s door, panting.

Youngjae doesn’t mind though, as he is walking to meet you. He is carrying a small bag and it’s balancing with every step. He is joyful, like every time he gets to meet you. No matter what, he’ll never get bored of coming your way, even if it means he has so wake up earlier for a simple greeting. He likes it, he knows you love him, and he loves you, so he could walk hours under heavy thunder. Today is no different, and he almost counts every step leading to you, like a song to his impatience. It hasn’t been long since he last came, his mind is still fresh with yesterday’s encounter, and he knows he’ll come tomorrow, and the days after.

He loves you too much to give up on you.

Youngjae opens the small wrought iron doorway and takes off his black hat, the only barrier protecting him from the way too bright sky. He knows the way by heart, and he closes the door behind him, hands wet with rain’s remains. He wipes it on his heavy coat and grips the bag tighter. He is almost there.

Youngjae is a simple man. Youngjae has no problems with silence, he loves his surroundings, he loves the way the wind is the only thing blowing around him. The grass is gone; it is now covered in rectangular shapes. He still knows where to go, he has memorised the numbers to your new house. It’s pretty and neat, but most importantly, it’s where you are.

Youngjae loves everything that protects you.

He walks past countless shapes, and he doesn’t look at them. It makes him think about too many things. He prefers not to look at it.

When he stops, he glances down and hesitates. Maybe you need more rest, maybe he shouldn’t disturb you now?

There’s no way you’ll send him off, he remembers clearly that you told him he’ll never be a bother.

He smiles to himself.

The bag is still in his hands. He puts it down and takes a deep breath. You’ve been silent recently. He thought it’d be momentary, but he never gets an answer, yet he still comes.

“I’m here again.” He whispers, smile never leaving his face. He knows you may not be far, Youngjae has this habit of talking to himself, thinking he’s talking to people.

“Still the same as yesterday, right?” He looks at the drops. They’re drawing a small pattern, and he laughs when he notices it looks like a heart.

“You’re so poetic, did you drew this for me? You can control rain?” His laugh is solar, teeth greeting you and cheeks up.

“I know. I shouldn’t be here. You always get mad whenever you see me here.” He is looking in front of him, like he’s the only one to see you.

People might think he is crazy, at some point.

“I’ll come every day. You told me not to stop loving you, so...” His smile is bigger, but his mouth is the only thing moving.

He turns around when he hears the doorway and greets a couple entering the tall place.

“Neighbours.” He chuckles to himself and takes the bag from the ground. It’s wet, now.

The couple walks past him and they smile. They look happy, and he smiles back. They are full of drops of rain.

“I thought about bringing something else, and you’d be surprised.” He wriggles his brows and opens the bag. “Candies!” he giggles and takes another paper bag from the one already in his hands.

“Strawberry, lemon, pineapple!” He puts it down and waits. You say nothing.

“Look. I know you’re not a chatterbox, but could you answer?” he pleads, legs shivering.

“I thought you said you’d always greet me with a smile?” he tries again, but the only sound he hears is a magpie whistling against the sky.

“You don’t like it? I won’t bring it again.” He is blinking, a bit pouty. You don’t like his present.

He developed a habit in always bringing something with him. Back then you told him you didn’t need it, but he insisted.

You deserve more than candies anyways.

“There’s a reason I decided to change my presents.” He explains with a sigh and sits on the floor, not annoyed by the fact that it’s going to be wet.

He waits for you to talk, but as usual, you stay quiet. He hates it when you don’t answer, it makes him feel like he is not wanted near. You became quiet with the years. You should talk more.

The wind blows, and a red petal lands on his lap, damp. It looks new, like it just fell from a freshly made bouquet of roses.

“For me?” He asks and takes it in his hand, “Thank you.” He smiles again.

Silence is back, and he sighs “The weather is bad these days. I feel bad for leaving you in such a cold place.”

A soft rumble makes him look at the sky and the clouds are suddenly grey.

“Ah. It’s going to rain again. At least you won’t get wet. I’m happy.” He continues. You don’t speak. You don’t answer.

Youngjae looks cute today. He is wearing the coat you bought him, and his platform shoes, the ones you wanted to steal from him. He is always nicely dressed.

A drop lands on the shape, and it makes a sound. Another one falls and Youngjae whines.

“Now?” He looks at you and shakes his head. “Anyways. I’m glad you’re safe here.” A drop lands on his face.

It’s cold.

“I’ll come again. Even if it’s for a couple of minutes, I’ll always come.” Rains is heavier now.

“I just wish you’ll answer next time. It gets lonely, here.” The noise of the drops is covering his voice, but he doesn’t mind.

He isn’t sure he can speak anymore. It’s always the same.

“I love you. You know that, right? I feel like you’ll forget me if I don’t say it every single day.” He knows you can’t hear him anymore, but it doesn’t matter.

“I’m sorry. I should be cheerful but I’m adding sadness. We don’t need this, right?” he kneels and puts the bag. It gets wet instantly.

“I’ll come back tomorrow. Then, you’ll answer. You have to.” He smiles, and feels drops on his face.

“Ah, it’s raining too hard!” He tried to laugh, but he knows, and he knows you do too.

It’s not rain that’s falling on his cheeks now.

He sniffs loudly and crumples the paper bag. The back of his hands wipes his face.

“Candies are lasting. Flowers are ephemeral. Every time I come and see them wilted, it reminds me of what’s happening in there. It’s killing me.” He sobs and suppresses the noise with his fist.

It hurts his throat.

“Enjoy it. I’ll bring more.” He looks at the couple running out of the place, coats over their heads and faces red.

“I should probably go or you’ll get mad at me for catching a cold.” He puts the heavy hat over his head and gets up. He is a mess.

“Please wait for me.” He doesn’t dare looking at you again and turns around. At least, he can cry, now.

He walks back to the door and it’s already opened but he closes it behind him. It’s the only thing protecting you from the world, now.

Youngjae walks past a small sign and stops to read it. He reads it every day.

He just needs to make sure it’s real. It’s brutal, but he needs to make sure. It’s the only way to accept.

Saint Teresa Cemetery

The letters are golden but faded, and Youngjae cries harder.

“Judging by your face, something happened.” He asked, not even bothering with the greeting and taking a seat.

“It was awesome!” You exclaimed.

“That much?” Jinyoung whistled. “What was?” He asked while the waitress put his drink on the table.

You tilted your head. “He was so sweet and soft. He is a total gentleman....but I was invited to one of his dance performance. I’m going to mess up, and he’s going to hate me.” You were almost sobbing by now.

Jinyoung thought for a minute. “So that’s why you look like you’re constipated. You agreed on going, right?” You nodded “It’s a good thing. He wouldn’t invite you if he didn’t want you around.”

“But maybe I am considered as a friend? Also, I know nothing about his world.... I’m going to ruin everything, coach.”

Jinyoung sighed. “Get a grip. You’re just panicking at the idea of meeting him again. You’ll go, and remember what I said: You’ll love everything he does. He is going to dance beautifully, and he is going to be awesome and talented and you’ll fall in love with what he does, got it?”

You pouted but acquiesced “Yes, coach.”

“There will be only one rule: Be receptive.”

“Yes, receptive. Got it. Ah and, he hugged me. I freaked out.”

“Was it a friendly one, or an affective one?” Jinyoung asked and you had no idea what to answer.

“I think it was friendly? I don’t know. I have troubles with physical interaction. How can I work this out? Our hands brushed and I had to take a step back. He will think I’m disgusted by him...when in reality it’s the opposite.” It was true. You didn’t mind being touchy with friends, but Jaebum was sending electricity into your body. It was nerve-wrecking.

“Well, he is a dancer so obviously, he has no problems with being touchy. Get up.” He said and you froze.

“What? Get up, I’ll show you how not to run away.” He said and you got up, worried.

“So, show me, the hug.” Jinyoung added and stopped moving in front of you. You looked around and blinked at him, who had an annoyed expression and decided not to make him wait for too long. You slowly wrapped your arms around him and patted his back, your chest not even touching him.

“So, this is what he did?” You didn’t see his face so you nodded and heard him scoff.

“Hah...and here I thought you had a real thing.” You let your arms fall and stood in front of him.

“I told you it was friendly. What else could it be...” You mumbled in defeat.

“So why are you talking about freaking out?”

“Because....I need to be prepared.”

Your coach laughed. “Yeah ok. So, if this guy comes and hug you like this,” He wrapped his arms around you and your head hit his rather built chest.

“I’ll freak out, coach.” You said but didn’t move. Your head was strongly connected to him and he was all around you.

“Don’t, this will be pretty much the same as what I’m doing right now. If something similar happens again, close your eyes, and focus on the feeling rather than the touch in itself. You’ll feel good before you have the time to freak out.” He whispered.

Two old ladies passed by and smirked at you two, making Jinyoung roll his eyes and part from your body.

He smiled to himself when he saw how unaffected you were by his actions.

“And what if he wants to dance? He is a dancer, oh my god. I’m screwed.”

“Is there one thing you can do?” He was aware that he was being paid for a reason, but somehow, this girl was more than hopeless.

“Apparently, not...” You whispered. If you were amazed by how altruistic your coach was, you were now starting to change your opinion.

Jinyoung crossed his arms over his chest. “Whatever happens, keep this move in mind.” He started moving his legs slowly, from left to right, clicking his fingers to keep a sort of rhythm. “it’s as simple as that. Stay chilled, and don’t rush. Don’t jump around.” He added.

Jinyoung was good at dancing. Even though he wasn’t the type of person who liked to go clubbing, he knew a thing or two about moving along the beat. You were observing his moves, amazed by how comfortable and natural he looked and after a minute, you started awkwardly moving along, trying to mimic his dancing.

“Like...this?”” You asked, aware you looked like a drunk octopus trying to catch a prey. Jinyoung sighed for the umpteenth time.

“Why do you look so awkward...?” He walked closer and grabbed you by the hips, slowly down your pace. “Don’t rush, you look like you’re going to pee any minute.” He made you move and you made a face, slowing down.

“Better...?” You were concentrated on your body and the slow music in the background.

“Very much...” You didn’t look up, too focused on your feet and suddenly he stopped moving.

“What’s wrong?” You lifted your head and he took a step back.

“Nothing. It’s not like you could do worse. That will be enough.” He snorted and scratched his nose.

When you stayed silent, he spoke up again.

“What’s wrong?” Jinyoung’s voice was tinted with uncertainty, but you didn’t notice and looked up at him, clapping your hands.

“Please, come with me, coach.” You pleaded. With him around you can be guided, like you’re prone to less mistakes. It makes you comfortable, even if Jinyoung didn’t smell like compassion.

You saw him hesitate, hands on his sides. His body inched to the table before he threw a bill over it.

“I wasn’t planning on letting you go alone anyways.” He informed you before walking away.

You were left alone in the restaurant, the jazz music covering your messy thoughts. You were so not ready for what was to come.

Two days later, you found yourself throwing around clothes in order to get something fashionable enough. Mark had agreed on coming to help after a lot of nagging from your panicked state.

“You’re going to be great, stop panicking.” Mark knew how crazy in love you were, but sometimes, he wished you had more self-confidence.

“How is this?” You took a pale blue blouse and held it in front of you. Mark smiled, validating your outfit. “Be careful. I know these places, don’t end up dead drunk okay?”

You cackled “I won’t be alone, there will be Jaebum~”

If only you knew.

“Anyways, call if you need.” He concluded before pinching your cheek “How is it going with this man, by the way?”

“The coach?” You took some black jeans and threw it on your bed “He is okay. He does this for the money, actually. I thought he was a sort of cupid, but he doesn’t believe in love.”

“Obviously. You’re the only person I know who believes in true and pure love, Y/N. Most men don’t really care about these things...” Mark teased. He had always been the first one telling about how delusional you were.

“You’re all wrong. Jaebum is perfect. He is a gentleman and was very polite with me.”

“Again with him...I hope you’re right, because if he’s not what you think you’ll never survive this.” Mark knew how men were, and he hoped you were not being lied to.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll prove you his sincerity.” Your dreamy eyes were looking at the ceiling, as if you could already see you and Jaebum married with lots of little babies.

“You’re crazy, girl. Try not to freak him out.”

You snorted.

*-*

You were scared. This whole thing was slowly starting to turn you into a sort of madwoman, all frightened and anxious. You had spent the day panicking, thinking you were going to ruin it all, but at the same time, you were desperate for Jaebum’s love.

This internal conflict was making you want to scream. How could somebody be this scared and excited for a simple meeting in a festive place? If you were to be really honest, you had to say that this coach was really helping. No matter how cold and petty he was, he gave you good advices, which had led to a date with Jaebum already.

He was helping in making you build up some courage, and you didn’t know how. His way of explaining love was controversial, but it was so deprived of any emotions that it was less stressing, less dramatic. He was rational, even a bit too much, but it was calming, and you had to say his presence at the bar was really helping in staying chill.

He was slowly drinking from a bottle a beer, eyes scanning the place and outfit casual. It was a rare sight, but it was as suiting as his signature tuxedos. He looked like a normal person, for once, and not like a Greek god. When his eyes met yours, you flinched at his accusing tone, but still smiled, worried.

“Are you looking for somebody?” You jumped at the sudden voice and turned around, only to find yourself in front of Jaebum, who was smiling brightly at you.

“No, I was looking around the place, it looks cool...” You mused, trying to sound detached.

Your chest was about to burst off.

“I’m glad you came. My group is next; I’ll have to leave but can you wait for me here?” He said and his pleading tone made you agree instantly, and you sat down like a robot, signalling him to go and have his fun.

The people here looked cool. There was nothing too fancy, and the walls were covered in street arts of all sorts. The lights were making the place look like an illegal underground night-club. You looked at some girls passing in front of you, and you silently cursed at yourself for being so heavily covered, while they had short tops, revealing sporty bodies.

Of course there would be people like that, here.

You sighed when the light went off and your attention was brought to the stage as soon as Jaebum appeared.

His dancing was neat and clean, just like his legwork. The rest of the people were moving in sync with him, and you found yourself clapping numerous times, cheering for the talented boy and his crew.

You envied him. You envied his coolness and how he was able to captivate a whole audience with his skills.

And you found yourself lost in the moment, with dreamy eyes and hands clutched on the table.

Jinyoung took another sip of his beer and decided this Jaebum was really skilled. He was looking at his client from time to time, hoping she wouldn’t mess up and be as supportive as possible. If tonight were to work out, maybe he’ll finish this contract a lot faster than expected.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He recognized the voice instantly and leaned against the bar, turning to a very amused Yugyeom.

“I should have known you’d come here to jump around like a monkey like you do every day.” Jinyoung mocked and Yugyeom whined at him.

“What’s bringing you here anyways? I thought you hated this type of parties? My crew is the last to dance.” The younger one asked, lips pursed and hair sweaty.

“Work.” Was Jinyoung’s short answer.

“How surprising. Who’s the client?”

Jinyoung nodded toward a girl clapping to the dancers and Yugyeom’s brows raised.

“It’s a girl? But wait, I thought you only helped men?”

“I needed a change.”

“She is pretty. The guy’s a dancer?” His roommate was being way to noisy but Jinyoung acquiesced, eyes glued to the cheering girl.

“Im Jaebum is the name.” he explained.

“Oh! I know him! He’s pretty cool and kind. She might succeed.” Yugyeom declared and Jinyoung snorted.

“And how do you know? You’re like...12 years old.”

The young dancer gasped and hit his shoulder “Why am I even friends with you?”

“Because I earn enough money to pay for the whole flat on my own?” Jinyoung lifted a brow at him and laughed when he saw his friend’s shocked face.

Yugyeom only grunted “See you at home, dwarf. You should definitely conquer your client instead of hitching her away. You’re staring too much.” He whispered before walking away, shaking his head.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and ordered another beer, while Jaebum did a back-flip.

You were amazed by his skills so when the performance came to an end, you waited eagerly for Jaebum, mentally preparing praises and positive things to say.

There will be only one rule: Be receptive.

You could be receptive. Jaebum was captivating you on so many levels, you hardly doubted you could be more receptive at some point.

The fact that he was dancing like a god wasn’t helping, though. He was too perfect, too pretty, to talented for your annoying self. But you waited, you waited for Jaebum to show up so you could enjoy this evening with him. You had been invited and you were going to spend a good time.

But an hour later, Jaebum wasn’t here.

You tapped on the table and yawned, still waiting. He must have been a bit busy after the performance, which was a normal thing. You let your hand fall on your hand and sighed.

“Look for him...”

You barely had the time to register what had happened, your coach was already walking away, beer attached to plump lips and bored eyes scanning the place.

Look for him? Where? You got up and walked around, peaking around the place and trying to avoid drunk people jumping around.

The scene was oddly familiar.

You felt sad. Maybe he was busy, but you felt wrong all of a sudden, like he had stood you up for some more thrilling evening. You felt like crap.

You walked close to the back-stage’s curtains and opened it. Maybe he was still back there?

The dancers were rehearsing. Some of them were resting, others were drinking. You recognized a couple of guys from Jaebum’s group, but he wasn’t among them. It was weird, but at some point, you were worried. Maybe something had happened to him? Maybe he had hurt himself while dancing?

You found yourself walking faster and stopped suddenly. Jaebum was right in front of you. And he wasn’t alone.

You opened your mouth to speak and closed it. You were glad he couldn’t see you.

Not when this girl was hugging him so tightly.

You couldn’t see his body well, but the girl was attached to him, hands around his neck and you didn’t know if you should be sad or happy that he was in such a cute relationship.

If anything, you were not expecting him to accept a date with you if he had a girlfriend. Also, you had never seen her before, which was surprising because Jaebum was your neighbour. Your chest was slowly starting to hurt, but it was like a magic spell.

You couldn’t tear your eyes off the scene.

But you felt so ridiculous. You felt like you had been fooled. You were spending money for a coach, you were thinking about him, dreamy and romantic.

Jaebum is perfect You had said to Mark, all proud. You felt so embarrassed, right now.

The girl parted from Jaebum, and you were ready for him to your teary eyes. You were not mad at him though, because in a way, it was normal.

There was no way he could be interested in you, anyways.

Jaebum smiled sweetly at her and ruffled her hair before stretching his body. He said something but your hearing was a blurry as your vision.

He turned his head toward you but you found yourself being turned around fast and dragged out of the area. You didn’t protest, letting silent tears fall and thinking about what had just happened. You didn’t notice the music, the people, the frenzy nothing.

It all felt empty, suddenly.

Your body hit the outside air and you breathed again. You walked to the nearest bench next to a small bridge and sat, breathing out.

Your coach was looking at you, arms crossed over his chest.

“Before you say anything, this doesn’t mean you can give up. Don’t start imagining things.” He said slowly.

You only laughed at him. “Yes, right. He certainly didn’t hug me that way.” Your voice held all the sadness in the world.

“I knew you’d start being all depressed, that’s why I pulled you out of this.”

“You didn’t have to. I’m not surprised anyways. From the start, it was impossible. I’m sorry I made you lose your time.” How stupid is that? Paying a guy to get the man of your dreams.

You were just a pathetic art student with way too much time on her hands and money to spend on stupid things.

“If you really want him, you can’t let this crush you. I’ve seen it too, and it didn’t look like some passionate couple in love.” Jinyoung was trying to get her to cheer up. He knew you by now, and he had decided not to let you make a fool of yourself. This Jaebum guy had some unfinished business, but that didn’t mean he’d give up.

He never failed. Not even once.

“Let’s get you home. Rest and don’t be dramatic.” You started walking and he followed you.

“What are you doing?” You pressed, walking faster.

“Well, it’s not like you can wander the streets alone. I’ll take you home.” He ordered and you didn’t resist, too tired to create a fuss in the middle of downtown.

Thank god your place wasn’t lost in the middle of nowhere.

The walk was silent, and both of you were walking, silently. Jinyoung was walking behind, and apart from his steps, no sound could be heard.

“How are you going to go back home?” You asked, turning around and meeting his nonchalant body, hands in his pockets.

“The same way I came, I’ll take a taxi.” Jinyoung didn’t know why he had decided this, but he was doing it anyway. He knew better than let a depressed girl head back home alone.

“Thanks, coach.” He heard and chuckled, shaking his head.

When she was finally able to see her house, she sped up, eager to find the comfort of her bed and have a good night of sleep. She opened her purse and took her keys and headed to the door, followed by her coach.

“So... today wasn’t the best, right? I think it’s best that I don’t insist...” You trailed off, pained. Maybe it was better to let Jaebum have his little love story in peace. After all, he was just being nice with you.

“No. I’ll think about something. Don’t give up, we don’t know for sure what that was about. Just don’t do anything stupid without telling me.”

“But there’s no point! It’s no use. I shall give up, I feel like a Picasso, all distorted and messy.” You snorted.

“Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.” Jinyoung affirmed and you looked up at him.

“How do you know about this quote?” You were surprised he would even know about this.

“Heard of it somewhere. Anyways, don’t be overdramatic and rest for tonight.” He looked away and patted your shoulder.

“Thanks, coach. I’ll pay you for this, really.” You tried but he shook his head.

“No need for that.”

“Yes, but-” 

“Y/N?” You and Jinyoung both turned around and you froze.

Jaebum was standing right in front of you two, breathless and worried.