#futuredaughter

• Teach her to say no

• Teach her to express her feelings

• Teach her to not take it personally

• Teach her to take care of her mindset

• Teach her to take care of her body

• Teach her to do the household in small steps

• Teach her to prioritize her studies first

• Teach her to reflect on her friendships

Been going to the gym pretty regularly now. I've had to take a break cuz of finals. But I'm so excited to get back after a week break. I've noticed significant mass increase in my shoulders. My veins have gotten more visible on my forearms, lower abs, and shoulders. I'm going to keep working on tris tho cuz I know that's my weak spot.

Hey you.

You don’t even exist yet babygirl. In fact, you’re not even a fleeting thought in my mind. I’ve been thinking about you, to be honest.

I’ve been thinking about what your cry might sound like. What your laugh will be like? Will you be joyful and full of laughter just like you Mama? Or will you be quiet and more reserved?

Whatever you may be, my darling; I hope you know how much you’re already loved.

You have enough spirit and light within the universe that I can even picture myself holding you.

And yet I’m so terrified babygirl. I’m terrified of failing you. I’m terrified that I may fall short of being the Mother you deserve. I’m terrified that I might fall out of love with whomever your Daddy is. I’m terrified.

I’m terrified you might end up like me.

And that’s a scary thing.

Because lovely little one, Mama isn’t perfect. Your Mama falls short of the glory of God. Your Mama constantly looks for acceptance in worldly things. She doesn’t remember her truth and her worth.

But I promise you babygirl, whether I carry you in my tummy or a selfless Mother allows me to become your forever family…

You. Are. Perfect.

You are so beautiful. I can imagine your sweet eyes watching the world above you from your crib. I hear your soft cry like a distant melody. And I can only imagine the adventures we’ll face together. I so hope that we are friends babygirl. Yes, I am your Mama… but I so hope to be your friend as well.

I hope that you’ll love theatre just as much as I do; and will watch old musicals with me when we don’t feel good. I hope that you love life. Every single bit of it until there’s no drop of regret even available for you to find. I hope that one day you go to college, and study things you’re passionate about.

My love, I cannot wait until the day you call me and say

“I think they’re the one.”

And I’ll gush with you but remind you that your happiness should come from within. You do not need to be of the world, sweet girl. I hope you keep your head held high, and you always choose to dance in the rain.

My dear, there’s nothing in this world that you could do that would ever stop my love for you.

I will never talk to you about your body. I will only try to be the best I can be for the both of us. I want you to love yourself so hard babygirl. I want you to love so hard that it extends to the people you encounter. I want you to never have a moment of self doubt. And I want you to always remember that your happiness comes first. Live for you, babygirl. Not for me, or your Daddy, or your friends or your future husband.

Babygirl, I don’t know where you are in this universe. I don’t know if I’ll carry you in my tummy and we’ll have a bond like no other. (You’re the only one who’ll ever know what my heart actually sounds like.) I don’t know if i’ll meet you in 5 years or 10 or 15. But I can promise you this.

You are so loved. You are already perfect. And I cannot wait to meet you one day.

Until then my love.

With more love than you’ll ever know,

I can see myself as a mom telling my daughters this

In love with this city. I really do hope that after nursing, or wherever life takes me, I find myself back in Toronto. So many people and the city never sleeps. I am in love. And I'm going to miss my friends here too.

I happened to wander around the U of T med building while meeting with my best friend. And all I can say, is that I am going to do whatever it takes to put myself in that medical school. I loved this adventure and I'm so happy I traveled on my own and didn't have to worry about my anxiety or depression. I am blessed.

Gonna go get a shwarma now tho cuz I didn't eat the whole day lol