#future-dregs

Happy Birthday! 💗💗💗💗

or

Dean just HAUNTING (metaphorically and pretty negatively) that house because of how much Sam doesn't want to let him go

hi, audie!! happy wincest wednesday!

i'm only a month late this time!! yippee! i am DEFINITELY in this same boat. i honestly flip between the two, but think that they can and do exist simultaneously.

originally, "someone was listening" (the third fic in the heaven series on ao3) was supposed to be a lot longer and a lot angstier (even though it's already pretty angsty, lol) but i ran out of time in my life to flesh it out like i wanted it. i had an entire second page of outline about how dean jr (DJ from here on out) really resents dean and his place in his life. here's an excerpt from their big talk about it:

"Look. Uncle Dean. I know we're going to have to know each other, but I think I...need a second. I feel like you've been..." His mouth tilts awkwardly as his words trail off. After a heavy pause, he exhales sharply. "So much of my life has been about you. So much of it was spent waiting for you, like you'd walk back through the front door any second. Hell, Dad kept your car keys on the hook. You and Dad didn't talk for a few years, right? Before you came to get him from school? It was like--my whole life--Dad was just waiting for you to come pick him up again."

because yes!! dean is every hero in every bedtime story DJ was ever told! when he asks who he's named after, sam gets all choked up and serious and honest, and it's the closest DJ ever feels with his father. because sam named him after the person he loves most in the world, his literal soulmate (although DJ doesn't find that part out until heaven, i imagine). that's maddening. like yes, i am imparting the literal highest honour i am capable of, because i love you and i love him and now we are all connected.

he never knew his uncle, but even when sam's giving him advice girls or friends in high school, dad pulls out a story about how dean handled XYZ and how he was really smarter than he ever gave himself credit for, did i ever tell you about the time--

and one time DJ says "yes" very firmly and loudly before sam can even finish, because sam has told him every story about dean (at least the ones he feels comfortable sharing with his son) a million times and sam reacts like a kicked puppy. his eyes get wide and his mouth gets thin and he nods and smiles weakly like 'oh yeah of course, sorry.' and now DJ has some massive dad guilt and prompts him a few days later like 'hey this reminds me of that time you and uncle dean did ABC, was that the time DEFG happened?' and sam softens.

and on the other hand, dean is OMNIPRESENT. DJ couldn't escape him if he tried. whenever he cheats on a test or gets in a fight or fails some unspoken test, sam's disappointment is tenfold.

DJ's not only letting his father down, he's letting his uncle down, and somehow tainting his father's memory of his best friend.

i can't imagine sam takes his son hunting, but we know that DJ knows about hunting, because he has his tattoo at the end. i imagine if DJ wants to go hunting--because fuck, he's named after the "greatest hunter of all time," the man who saved the world, heaven's warrior--sam is tense and angry and very ellen-with-jo about it.

it's one of the most explosive fights sam and his son ever get into, and sam eventually whirls on him and shouts, "no, dean, not again!"

and that kind of changes their relationship forever, even after sam pales and retracts it and apologizes because--at the end of it--DJ is more of a headstone than a man.

i think DJ's age really determines how he reacts to dean haunting his relationship with his dad, and his life more broadly.

when he's young, i imagine it's kind of nice because he's at that ripe age for hero worship. it's like finding out your dragon-slaying father named you after his knight brother/best-friend. like it's all little-kid awe and excitement. but as he gets older, from like 8-20s, he starts to have that resentment building up. his father can't tell him things, his father won't tell him things, and his father has the expectation of two people on him at all times. as he gets into his 30s-40s he might kind of get into the same situation sam had with john (with MUCH less intense stakes/wrongs), where he recognizes that sam did the best he could, and forgive his father for his intensity.

this is NOT to say that sam is a bad father. we've seen sam with jack, and his relationship with DJ (despite the fact it is in montage form), looks warm. i think sam would be a genuinely excellent father overall, but i think dean's presence in sam's life and soul would cause some friction as he navigates fatherhood.

because he might be DJ's dad, but he's dean's brother first.

So we know that Dean is a romantic, likes to kiss and hold hands, wants to be charming, likes it sweet.

SO, how would he go about wooing or treating Sam, not necessarily in the initial stages of their relationship, but after, for special occasions or to try to bring some extra romance to the bedroom or their daily lives.

OR

What are little romantic things he would like Sam to do for him, even if he doesn't ever work up to asking?

Thank you ^_^

hi, darling!! happy wincest wednesday! (i am so sorry it's three months late 😭)

UGH this made me all warm and fuzzy inside. i ADORE romantic!winchesters, i sob and weep.

this isn't necessarily the question, but one of my favourite things that dean does that HE sees as romantic that sam doesn't really think about is cleaning sam's guns & keeping his weapons in good shape. it's like an act of service, and it's a way of making sure sam stays safe. i think if sam's gun ever jammed on a hunt, or one of his knives wasn't sharp enough, dean would take it VERY personally and see it as a personal failing.

but in terms of traditionally romantic things!!!!

i think "wooing" sam would be very quiet. it involves leaving gifts out for sam like he's a cat leaving mice and birds and stick on your pillow because it's worried about you, okay?? he buys an extra pack of sam's favourite chocolate raisins and leaves them at his place at the kitchen table. he makes sam's favourite meal for dinner. he goes out of his way to finish a chore sam's been dreading, so when sam groans about having to do it, dean goes "oh yeah i already did it this morning" with a pleased little thrill.

if dean's awake when sam comes back from his morning run, he'll go straight to the shower room and warm up the water for him so sam can step right in and clean off, and dean will--sometimes--stand there in his robe and grin and eye him up while brushing his teeth. sometimes he'll even be waiting for sam in there with nothing but a smile and two handfuls of sam's 'girly' shampoo.

i don't think dean would be into PDA (thinking kissing, and i honestly think he'd go "well that's gay :/" like he's not having anal sex nightly), but he definitely loves getting to touch sam in public AND to be touched by sam in public. i'm talking hands on the back of his waist to steer him through crowds, hand clapped on his shoulder with his thumb lying just-there on his neck, legs tangled underneath diner tables. so when dean is feeling romantic or feeling needy, he gets a little clingy.

maybe he even slides an arm around sam's waist in the grocery store to "look over" his shoulder at the cereal options but keeps it there as they stroll.

i think this is extra evident in the bunker. when he wants to bring a little romance into their lives, he'll come up behind sam at the stove and wrap his arms around sam's waist and prop his chin up on sam's shoulder and slouch into him. he loves rubbing the little spot where sam's shirt rides up and his hip bone protrudes with his thumb.

sam can tell when dean is needing some affection because he'll sit next to sam at the kitchen or library table instead of across from him because he loves to press their knees together and feel the heat of sam's body.

i also think dean likes to kiss sam before he goes somewhere. like if dean has to go out to get something, he'll hunt down sam so he can give him a lil peck before he goes. he's pacing the bunker like a wild animal until he sees sam and goes !! !! :D sammy--i am going to the gas station. meat man needs beef jerky. mwah. and sam is like?? okay??

ALSO i think dean gets them one fork/utensil at a restaurant, or shares his utensils and this is very romantic to him. it's the trust, i think? it's something he'd never do with another person, ever. like he orders a slice of pie and asks for just one fork, and he and sam pass it back and forth. or if his chili is really good, he'll pass his spoon over to sam so he can have a taste even though sam has a perfectly good spoon. i also think that the few times sam denies his spoon and grabs his own, dean is a bit crushed. he's worried sam's mad at him.

i have a scene in my head where cas, jack, sam, and dean are out for lunch and he gets pie with just one fork, and he passes the fork over to sam, like sorry guys just one fork, only sammy and i can have some and jack is the "🥺is for me?" picture. when jack asks why he can't have some, dean goes "oh ew ugh, germs?? heard of them??" while licking's sam's saliva off of a cherry-compote-covered fork.

sex isn't romance and romance isn't sex BUT in terms of romantic sex, dean adores slow sex. one of his favourite things to do after a sketchy hunt is take sam back to the bunker or hotel and strip him slowly--hands roaming over sam's chest and legs and arms, mouth on his neck and fingers and wrists. ostensibly, he's checking for injuries, but sam's clothes stay off and dean leans him back against the bed. i'm talking opening sam up until he's crying and sliding into him slow, holding both of his hands, their fingers laced together so sam can't touch his throbbing, hypersensitive dick. dean loves to smell him after thirty minutes of sex-sweat has built up on his skin, and he'll tuck his face into sam's neck real sweetly and nose gently along his tendon.

only after a REALLY bad hunt do they have frantic-tearing clothes off life-affirming sex, and sam pounds into him with enough force to bruise the insides of dean's thighs with the sharpness of his hipbones.

i think when dean wants to get romantic in the bedroom, we get a lot of handholding, a lot of eye contact, and a lot of praise. dean checks in with sam a ton, and urges him c'mon c'mon baby you can give me one more, try for me sammy, one more then you're done.

dean's a very visual guy, and he loves, loves, loves having sam spread out. he tips into body worship the way he noses along the veins in sam's arm, up his thighs, into his elbows, and tell him how well he grew up. grew up so big. grew up so strong. fuck, just look at you.

(side note: a fun hc i have is that dean likes roleplay for the costume aspect, and sam is a lil into roleplay for the playing-a-part aspect of it. sam could take or leave it, and feels a little awkward doing it, but there's nothing in the world like the way dean's pupils swallow his iris when dressed in something tight and small and stupid.)

also i'm prepared to get shot by the cynicism firing squad for this but i really rlike it when they get matching rings 🥺 👉👈 fics & art that give them rings...i owe you my life... (cough cough go check out the 20th anniv. zine...my fic there is about that very thing). i don't think they'd ever call each other "boyfriends" or "husbands" because they'd think that's kinda gross (they're BROTHERS. that's so much more permanent than husband, eugh), but i ABSOLUTELY see them getting rings bc it's easier when they get hit on to flash the ring instead of having to stumble over an apology. i think sam would really like seeing something of HIS on dean after the samulet debacle, and i think dean would get really turned on and smug to see his mark on sam.

also i think when sam's trying to get dean off quick, he'll jerk him off with his left hand bc dean can feel the ring on his dick and he goes absolutely wild

in terms of things dean would like sam to do for him, i think dean--as someone raised on 80s movies (have you SEEN his proclivity for big romantic gestures??)--would really like the hand-in-the-back-pocket thing. i think he'd also really like if sam slapped his ass when he's walking by bc it makes him feel a lil sexy, and i have no explanation as to why. just the vibe i get.

and...everyone reading this right here right now knows exactly what dean would see as the ultimate romance in the bedroom...

i think dean would feel very uncomfortable with overt romance from sam outside of sex, because he's convinced himself he's not built for it? but like if sam grabbed his hand and held on even after dean tried to fight him off, dean would tear up.

I RAN AWAY WITH THIS. HOLY SHIT. I AM GOING TO STOP TALKING NOW. I COULD GO ON #FOREVER.

Jensen and Jared have said that Sam and Dean weren't really surprised that they were soulmates, that it was more a confirmation of what they already knew.

So my question is, in Supernatural's world, what does it feel like? Is it like our sense of soulmate, a deep and encompassing connection? Or is there more of a sensation to it?

Sam and Dean are soulmates, can they feel each other? The essence? Is there a sense of settling when they come back around each other? An ache that goes beyond just missing each other when they're separated?

What are your thoughts?

hi, audie! happy wincest wednesday! :)

ooh this is a great question! hmmm...

i think for sam&dean that there is definitely a sensation component.

in s2e1, sam says that he "felt" dean in the hallway, but isn't able to quite describe what that feeling is. they say more than once in the show that they know their brother is alive, and that he's going to come save him (whoever "he" is in the moment). even when they've been mind-erased with angel magic, one of sam's first memories to return is of dean.

i have a post here about samdean soulmatisms during swan song, if you're interested!

they're always hyper-attuned to each other in a room, and you rarely see them turn around to look for each other--they seem to always know where the other is standing, and exactly how far away.

however, i don't think that this is something that they'd ever be able to articulate. it's not a conscious thing that they do, or acknowledge, but they immediately feel more settled and calm when they're together.

when they're apart, they immediately start becoming uncomfortable. this is really emphasized i think in "scarecrow," where they start calling each other every three hours essentially, even after they've made up; and in that one episode (i forget) where dean immediately pulls sam's contact up after going out to a bar alone. it feels antsy. restless. a pull underneath their skin.

and i think dean probably felt this even when soulless!sam was back, which was one of the reasons he was immediately tipped off that something wasn't right--he still felt uneasy and nervous in his bones like sam was still gone.

sam is run so ragged when dean's soul is corrupted into demonhood, bc i think he was experiencing--in some regard--an existential threat! this-me-that-is-not-me-is-gone. there is absolutely his normal reaction, of being freaked out and upset and devastated bc dean is dead, but once he knows dean is a demon, it's like he's wired. shaky, like after a withdrawal.

i think there also might be another reading where a lot of their really reckless/dangerous/cruel decisions are made while the other's soul is in existential threat (e.g., detoxing sam in the panic room, inviting gadreel in, drinking demon blood & killing hosts, releasing the darkness, etc.), because they ARE soulmates, and it's like a dog chewing its own leg (in this case morals) off to save itself (in this case, the other half of their soul).

but in terms of fluff, because that's what i live for, yes, yes, yes. these men are best friends!!! they're brothers. they're...lovers? 👀 no one in the entire world can make them laugh like each other, or know exactly what they need like each other.

i think being soulmates to them is something that they don't even notice, or if they do, think 'this is how siblings are.'

when dad--drunk off his ass and unusually talkative--talks about how he loved their mom so much that he could kill anyone to bring her back, dean nods because, yeah. that's what sammy feels like. when kids in sam's class talk about how they wish they were an only child, he laughs along at first but then is like 'oh. damn. :| but what abt the way u feel fizzy all the way up when they laugh??'

this is just what their favourite person feels like: warmth in your toes, weight to your limbs, an open breeze, your favourite song, listening to someone hum while they cook, patchwork sun on your closed eyelids as you doze in the back of a car, chest so light you need to laugh just to feel it again.

when they're alone, on a regular day, it's quiet. it's sam not worrying about if he left the light on, it's dean being able to focus because sam is breathing in his space. when they're in a group of people, it's louder, pulls them together gently like a warm tide. when they're scared or stressed, it's strong, a magnet that hurts to resist.

when they're angry at each other, it's a vortex, and they resent the fact that even if their minds and bodies want to get as far away as possible, their souls are still pressed up against their chests, trying to stay close.

like,,,when the cage cracks open in s4e22 (or e21, i forget), even though sam thinks dean wants him dead and has rejected his brotherhood, and dean is so mad at him that he literally tried to beat his ass in a hotel room; they reach for each other. they say each other's name, over and over, even though the other definitely can't hear it.

it's INSTINCT!! like yes this is the end of the world level, and yes, we hate each other, but if i am going to die, i am going to die with my brother's skin under my hand and his name in my mouth. FUCKED UP!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

anyway. yes, there is definitely a sensation component, haha! but also just a sense of "dean is here, i am exhaling, i can think clearly, things are okay," and "sammy's here, and he's smiling, and my bones are no longer vibrating."

this was really fun to think about, and made my chest all warm and fuzzy, lol! thank you so much for this ask! i hope the rest of your Wednesday and your week is fantastic! :) <3

(I am going to ask a gee other people this question, but your post was what got me thinking about it)

sam: pride & hope

dean: envy & charity

* it was hard choosing 1 virtue for sam, i see a bit of everything in him, especially temperance (he was able to keep himself from relapsing for years) and prudence. faith was a strong contestant, but seeing as the literal act of believing in god only bit him in the ass, i went with hope. it represents his message and how he affects other characters, especially dean. for the deadly sin, it was a close tie between pride and anger but i went with pride because it was what misdirected his feelings of anger and caused his initial downfall.

* for dean, i avoided the more shallow options like lust and went with envy because it originates from a fear of abandonment and an unstable sense of self / insecurity. for the virtue, i would've gone with courage but i eventually picked charity for its meaning of selfless, unconditional love, beyond the act of literal giving. i think i cooked here, keeping in mind my headcanon of bpd!dean and his overall canon characterization.

Rhythm Inside by Loïc Nottet, what do you think?

There's no right or wrong answers

♡

i can envision an amv with this, i like it. this part specifically is so fitting.

be your enemy or lover // be your enemy or brother

we were put here to discover

hiii, love!

oh GOSH!! what an excellent, fabulous question!

my answer is not simple--lizzy has a long-winded way of answering a question? shock of the century, everyone aim your fainting towards a settee please!

i spent a LOT of time on this one, researching sources on the virtues, sins, and origins, so buckle up because i have opinions, lol!

let's talk about it!

It's so beautifully written, and sweet and lovely and solid and I was feeling all gooey about it, thinking about how much they love each other and about just how wonderful it is really. Cause yeah the horrors of family and incest are a theme are an aspect of Wincest, but also they LOVE EACH OTHER. And its overwhelming and wonderful and incredible and GOOD. And I was really feeling that, really nestling into that and then! You hit me with "it's their last year, remember" and it just killed me holy fuck

(The above is an accurate representation)

LOSS. Devastated grief. And you hid it in sweetness, you devil! You bamboozled me!

(the post in question)

hi! <3

thank you so much?? oh my god?? 🥺🥺🥺 gosh what a beautiful and lovely and kind message to receive!!!

i'm so glad you liked it!!!! <3

one of my favourite things about wincest is that THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS!!! there is no one they would prefer to spend time with because they make each other laugh! they know each other more than anyone in that eldritch, cosmic level, sure, but also in the quiet moments!! it's love (family) and love (romance) and love (friendship). it's love all the way down! even when they're being violent or cruel, it still boils down to love (or what they think love is)(hence the horror!!!)

i feel like that meme of the astronaut pointing the gun at the other astronaut saying "it's all love?" and the other saying "it always was." you know what i mean. hopefully.

i'm so incredibly pleased that this came across in that post!

i loveee a happy ending, but i am fascinated with the omnipresent ticking clock. the meta-esque dramatic irony of a story we're never really told/shown, and all the tiny, final "lasts."

i love the fact that their "in the future" timeline is now catching up with us (i've done a few "the last" posts, like sam's birthday, dean's birthday, one year out, etc), so you will definitely catch my post down the road on the anniversary of the finale, lol! i've already got schemes and plans and strategies.

i'm going to be rolling this ask around in the palms of my hands the rest of this week, lol! thank you again so much, and i'm sorry you had to listen to my (read my?) rambling. hope your week is aces <3