#fusion!samchel

Gives nose/forehead kisses: Probably more of a Sam thing. Rachel’s not tall enough to reach his nose/forehead anyway

Gets jealous the most: Rachel, usually when it involves Sam hanging out with Quinn. Although once they’re broken up and on separate sides of the country, both. 

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: Neither. If they’re out drunk, they’re usually together and just catch a cab or Subway home.

Takes care of on sick days: Rachel’s better at providing soup and medicines; Sam’s more moral support who’ll happily cuddle her even when she’s all snotty and gross

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: Sam. He’s just more of a beach guy in general

Gives unprompted massages: Being a Power Ranger’s tough work so whoever needs it ends up receiving a massage :p

Drives/rides shotgun: Sam always insists on driving Rachel

Brings the other lunch at work: Rachel, probably. Or if she’s too busy she’d pack lunch for Sam to take and make sure that it’s got a cute little note in it and nothing that Sam won’t eat

Has the better parental relationship: They both have amazing family support systems

Tries to start role-playing in bed: Sam totally starts it unintentionally by using the blankets as wings and acting like a pterodactyl

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: Sam’s dancing is embarrassing always

Still cries watching Titanic: Sam gets bored during that movie and wishes they were watching Avatar instead, but he’ll hold Rachel when she ends up crying instead

Firmly believes in couples costumes: They’re both totally into couple’s costumes, who are we kidding? I mean, one of the first paras we did they were dressed as Fraphne :-p

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: Rachel, generally. Sam’s had more money worries during his life so he still goes overboard but his usually involves more homemade stuff

Makes the other eat breakfast: Rachel. She gets up earlier and she’s the better cook, plus a part of her worries that Sam will forget to make sure all the ingredients are vegan

Remembers anniversaries: Rachel would make him a calendar with all of the dates on them :-p

Brings up having kids: Sam. He’s the major family guy while Rachel’s more likely to want to focus on her career

Which one of them:

spikes the eggnog? It’s a team effort. Neither one of them was into egg nog - Sam because of calories, Rachel because of dairy products - until the Christmas in New York that Santana complained so much they got desperate and started drinking it because it was the only thing in the refrigerator to mix it with and they needed to make her seem less Grinch-like somehow.

hangs the stockings? Rachel. She says that Sam’s got plenty of years of experience and that his Jewish girlfriend now needs to catch up

leaves cookies and milk out to keep up with the santa tradition? Sam, but he forces Rachel to make the cookies for him because he can’t be bothered and hers taste way better anyway

"accidentally" throws away the fruitcake Rachel. Sam doesn’t want to hurt his mom’s feelings, so he tries to eat it and convinces himself that it’s a healthy cake alternative, but Rachel has no shame about thinking it’s disgusting and replacing it with her banana bread instead. 

goes overboard on the whipped cream? Rachel. By now she and Sam know how to tease each other, and she’s definitely figured out exactly what she can do just by sipping on hot chocolate with whipped cream to get Sam to be all over her

is the inevitable Christmas grinch? Rachel. She still thinks certain parts of Christmas are weird since she’s Jewish, and she also just wants to make sure everything’s perfect so she gets a little bit controlling and grinchy

wakes up first on Christmas? Sam. He’s so used to the munchkins being around that it’s hard not to just wake up automatically. 

rolls their eyes as the same cheesy carol plays in the stores for the millionth time? Rachel. She knows a lot of music, and she thinks that the radio is wasting a lot of potential with the songs that they’re choosing.

starts playing Christmas music the day after Halloween? Sam. He’s got a definite boy band weakness, and he waits all year for it to be acceptable to listen to Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

decorates the Christmas tree? Both. Sam puts up a lot of crazy ornaments that Stacey and Stevie have made, and Rachel puts up all their fancy, breakable stuff that she doesn’t trust Sam to touch

[MSG] Um…no? Is that the right answer? 

[MSG] Come on, Rachel, you know I hate trick questions.

[MSG] Look, I dated Quinn. Okay? Of course I thought she was hot. You don’t just date people who make you want to poke yourself in the eye with a pencil because that seems better than looking at them.

[MSG] But I don’t even notice anymore. And your butt’s totally more awesome than hers is.

[MSG] Look, I’m still friends with Quinn, and I don’t want that to bug you, ‘cause it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter like that anymore. She hasn’t for a long time.

[MSG] Your dads won’t be home for a while, right? So how about I show you just how much hotter I think you are…

“You are so beautiful, it hurts sometimes.”

"Rach, babe, as much as I appreciate that, I kinda thought I was the one supposed to be calling you beautiful. And, uh, no offense, but I’m pretty sure if the guys on the football team hear you calling me that, they’re going to throw me in a trash can. How about we just stick to things like "handsome" and "manly" from now on?"

“The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”

"How many times do I have to tell you I don’t know that stuff, Rach? I don’t know what kind of job I could get that would make me happy for the rest of my life. I know I got kind of crazy when my dad was in a coma, but him being out of one now doesn’t really make me that much less worried. I mean, sure it narrows down the list of things I could do and takes ‘instant dad’ off of it, but…I’m not like you, babe. I don’t know how to shine. All I know is I’ve got this amazing girlfriend who I’ve loved since I was like five, and I don’t want to lose her, but I can already feel her slipping away. How am I supposed to be feeling about the future? ‘Cause everything I know about it so far doesn’t really make me less upset."

“You are the one guy that made me risk everything for a future worth having.”

“Would you rather be a Pokémon Master or a wizard?”

"Can I flip a coin for this one? Or, like, if I'm a Pokemon master, can you be a witch and I can borrow your broom to ride or something? This is the meanest question you've ever asked me, Rach. But a lot less bad crap happens to Ash than to Harry Potter, so I guess we'll go with Pokemon master."

“Can I lick your face?”

"Rach, I totally think you're taking this 'babysitting Sam 2.0' thing way too seriously. You don't have to narrate everything he's thinking, okay, babe? I promise when we have babies or pets or something someday, there'll be times when we'll be glad we can't hear 'em or talk to 'em and stuff. But, uh - I'd rather he didn't lick my face. I've seen where his tongue goes. If you wanted to, though, that would maybe be okay. Or, you know, better than face places are cool, too."

“Can we have sex tonight?”