#fusion!sam

It was the first Christmas after high school, and everyone was home for the holidays. Of course Brittany had decided it was a great idea to throw a party at their house for all their friends, even though the last thing Sam wanted was to see everyone and hear about how successful they all were when he was at home in Reefside, helping out the football team and really feeling a lot like a failure.

Fortunately one of the first people to get there was Quinn. She was someone who would maybe judge him a little bit, but not in a mean way. She’d encouraged him to try, and even though he’d fallen flat when he had, how hard he’d fought to get into school and find something to do with his future was more than she’d really expected of him anyway.

“Hey Q -- good to see you,” Sam said, wrapping her in a hug as she crossed into the kitchen to drop off her contribution to the party food. “I hope Columbia’s been treating you good,” he added, noticing that his friend wasn’t looking at him but had her nose wrinkled up as she looked towards the ceiling.

Sam’s gaze followed hers, and he nearly groaned when he saw what was hanging above them. Of course Brittany had hung up mistletoe. He really should have seen that one coming.

“Hey, I’m not that gross!” Sam teased, poking her in the side and shaking his head. “You’ve kissed me before, it’s not really going to kill you to do it again, is it?” 

Tilting his head downwards, Sam pressed a light peck to Quinn’s lips... right as a cold blast of winter air hit his back from someone opening the kitchen door. The kiss was broken quickly as Sam turned to see who had arrived, and his face fell as his other ex-girlfriend stood there, staring at him and Quinn with a crestfallen look on her face.

“Uh, hey Rachel,” Sam stammered, his heart stopping and his face probably bright red. Maybe she hadn’t seen? But with the way Quinn was quickly shuffling into the other room to get away from Sam and Rachel, Sam was sure that she probably had. “Uh... mistletoe?” he explained lamely, wishing he could disappear with Quinn and hide with her for the night instead of dealing with whatever confrontation he was about to have.

[MSG] Hey dude, that’s good! At least you’re learning the names of stuff.[MSG] You don’t wanna do that, though. Only food goes in the freezer. And sometimes drinks, but don’t leave them too long or else they turn all solid and it sucks.[MSG] Good thing you can just pretend that was a prank, though. Don’t worry too much, nobody’s gonna figure out you’re an alien just from this.

[TEXT] Nah, it was actually a palm tree. I’m kinda surprised you don’t have any scratches or bruises; those things are kinda pointy.[TEXT] I feel like I probably should apologize for that. I mean, I know you’re like a total tree hugger anyway, Marls, but if I hadn’t been watching so much Baywatch to get ready for that audition, you probably never woulda gone near something so tropical.[TEXT] ...where the heck did you find a palm tree in New York, anyway?

"And you couldn't have decided this before you let your dad inject some freaking serum in me? Seriously? I mean, now everyone's pissed at me for stuff I don't even remember saying, not to mention Kayden kidnapping me was kind of the biggest cockblock ever. Not cool, dude. So not cool."

[MSG] Um…no? Is that the right answer? 

[MSG] Come on, Rachel, you know I hate trick questions.

[MSG] Look, I dated Quinn. Okay? Of course I thought she was hot. You don’t just date people who make you want to poke yourself in the eye with a pencil because that seems better than looking at them.

[MSG] But I don’t even notice anymore. And your butt’s totally more awesome than hers is.

[MSG] Look, I’m still friends with Quinn, and I don’t want that to bug you, ‘cause it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter like that anymore. She hasn’t for a long time.

[MSG] Your dads won’t be home for a while, right? So how about I show you just how much hotter I think you are…

“You are so beautiful, it hurts sometimes.”

"Rach, babe, as much as I appreciate that, I kinda thought I was the one supposed to be calling you beautiful. And, uh, no offense, but I’m pretty sure if the guys on the football team hear you calling me that, they’re going to throw me in a trash can. How about we just stick to things like "handsome" and "manly" from now on?"

“The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”

"How many times do I have to tell you I don’t know that stuff, Rach? I don’t know what kind of job I could get that would make me happy for the rest of my life. I know I got kind of crazy when my dad was in a coma, but him being out of one now doesn’t really make me that much less worried. I mean, sure it narrows down the list of things I could do and takes ‘instant dad’ off of it, but…I’m not like you, babe. I don’t know how to shine. All I know is I’ve got this amazing girlfriend who I’ve loved since I was like five, and I don’t want to lose her, but I can already feel her slipping away. How am I supposed to be feeling about the future? ‘Cause everything I know about it so far doesn’t really make me less upset."

“You are the one guy that made me risk everything for a future worth having.”

“Would you rather be a Pokémon Master or a wizard?”

"Can I flip a coin for this one? Or, like, if I'm a Pokemon master, can you be a witch and I can borrow your broom to ride or something? This is the meanest question you've ever asked me, Rach. But a lot less bad crap happens to Ash than to Harry Potter, so I guess we'll go with Pokemon master."

“Can I lick your face?”

"Rach, I totally think you're taking this 'babysitting Sam 2.0' thing way too seriously. You don't have to narrate everything he's thinking, okay, babe? I promise when we have babies or pets or something someday, there'll be times when we'll be glad we can't hear 'em or talk to 'em and stuff. But, uh - I'd rather he didn't lick my face. I've seen where his tongue goes. If you wanted to, though, that would maybe be okay. Or, you know, better than face places are cool, too."

“Can we have sex tonight?”