#funky asks

No such thing as late to me! (Because I also do everything late lmao)

Unfortunately don’t have any Hypnos snippets for you, so here’s a chunk from my Odysseus vs IKEA crackfic.

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Eurylochus locked eyes with him, frozen as his gaze slowly turned to the destroyed ceramic cow at his feet.

Odysseus heard an employee shout “what was that?”

“Ody,” Eurylochus said faintly. “Ody, please.”

Odysseus shook his head.

“Please.”

He dipped behind the display case as the employee, a blond man with freckles all over his face and sun earrings, finally found Eurylochus. He took in the damage, the guilty man before him and the sign that said “NO TOUCHING” and his eyes gleamed.

- @sparrow-zayda

(I need the answer, Jeanz…)

Funky ask meme

Gosh this is a really hard one-- I'm gonna go-

Kill Ethan, I'm sorry it was a hard choice to make but he needs to go.

Kiss Carver because he's edgy, mysterious and emo but I wouldn't marry him

Marry Brandon because he's not often there but he seems like a malewife

silly bands: what’s your favorite plant?

PLANTS!!! Oh, this is gonna be a long response. First, must make a distinction here between favorite plant to own and favorite GENERALLY.

To own: money tree or Meyer lemon trees. All the Meyer lemons and money trees I've cultivated in the past have been pretty low maintenance and have a nice Presence about them. Also, money trees are neat symbolically, and nothing in the world smells as incredible as lemon blossoms. (Honorable mention to rabbit's foot fern for having roots that look like That. I've been fortunate enough to be a witness to three separate incidents of people (1) casually glancing down at the fern, not really paying attention, (2) suddenly registering the fact that the roots look like long, hairy tarantula legs, (3) leaping back (usually while tripping over their own feet) and (4) attempting to skitter away. Then they'll (5) glance back at the roots in horror only to (6) realize "ohhh, those are just roots. NOT a tarantula." This is a universal formula for human experience with rabbit's foot fern, and it cracks me up every time. It's also great bc it's epiphytic and an air-purifier fern.)

Below, left to right: Meyer lemon blossom, money tree, and (ahhaha) rabbit's foot fern

My fav plant GENERALLY (and very specifically NOT to own) is manchineel/poison guava (Hippomane mancinella). It's arguably the most dangerous tree in the world and is known for its ability to cause skin lesions/hives on anyone who is so much as splashed by a drop of rain filtering through the leaves. I just think it's neat!! Horrifying for sure, but also a wonderful example of the capacity of plants to work beyond just their physical matrix of existence. Plants have an influence on the wider world around them, and nowhere is it so clear as with the manchineel! It's an exemplar of ecological extremes! (ahahaha alliteration)

I also love love love Queen Emma Crinums because of one VERY long inside joke from years ago. It's always got a special place in my heart.

Below, top row: manchineel, queen Emma crinum (lilly). Bottom row: warning signs for manchineel trees

sunflower: what makes you nostalgic?

Candles, rose-printed bedspreads and wallpapers, and old journals or handwritten notes.

whiteboards: old book smell or new book smell?

New book smell! I am unfortunately very sensitive to dust, so as much as I love old books, they often make me sneeze.

old cars: what’s the most fun word you know?

Oh god oh fuc...