What are Persef's innermost fears? Also, what does he feel most strongly about?
alright time 2 spill da beans on persef. (boop etc)
deacon leaves persef behind on a Soul Finding Mission after his lusus dies. he burns down his hive, and leaves, barely leaving anything to warn persef, not saying where he's going or when he'll come back. (deacon left behind a single mixtape: an entire collaboration of skrillex songs. but only with the drops.) persef is super destroyed emotionally by this, and for a while just mopes around. hes eventually found by aiidas who takes him in. aiidas, meanwhile, manipulates persef to believe 3 things: 1. deacon left because persef was a worthless moirail, 2. deacon was not coming back, 3. persef was helpless without aiidas. in the sweeps that deacon was gone soul searching and persef was with aiidas, persef stops gardening, barely eats, and becomes brain washed. he is led to believe he is worthless and helpless. his hair growing is literally the symbolism of the weeds in his garden that he left untouched.
deacon, meanwhile, is fighting around in the forests, both trolls and lusii (pretty much driven mad but thats another story). he eventually loses a battle and, while lying in a puddle of his own blood, has a crazy vision from bloodloss. and just like that, gets up and returns home. the end of his journey. he grows up, essentially. i guess almost dying will do that to you.
obviously, shit gets fucked (deacon left persef because he thought persef would grow to be more independent without him. which of course, backfired). growing up, persef always helped deacon. sure, deacon protected him, but it was always persef who had to care for him. now, the roles are reversed. deep down persef is still terrified deacon will leave again and always second guesses himself on what to say, or if hes saying the wrong thing. aiidas has led him to believe that he is walking on eggshells.
i dont actually know if this answered your question haha