#fuckms

Du willst ein Vorbild sein für anderre sein du willst all das was in dir ist unterdrücken.

We all do things for different reasons.  I have one primary reason for most of the decisions I make.... the MonSter.  Let me elaborate.  I have multiple sclerosis.  I was diagnosed in 2011 by a multiple sclerosis expert who didn’t even think I had it  This was after 13 years of symptoms and just as many neurologists.  MS does many things including deteriorating the body and brain.  Ever hear the phrase “if you don’t use it you lose it”?  That’s kind of how I look at things.  I push myself every day to do more, learn more, go further, or whatever.  Why? I know that my abilities and capabilities are going to be limited in the future.  It’s inevitable.  However, if I exercise my body and my brain it may help postpone what is coming.  The longer I have my faculties about me, the better.  So I push myself to learn and do as much as I possibly can in hopes that I stay me for as long as humanly possible because I know once the deterioration starts, I won’t be ME any more.  I will become a different version of me and I don’t know how I feel about that.  I’m not sure if I’m going to like that version or not.  Hell, I don’t know if I’m even going to be aware of the difference.  My cognitive function has already started to be affected by this MonSter.  I have noticed that I don’t remember as well, I have difficulty putting words together to get my point across sometimes, I stutter from time to time, and I just don’t know.  Everyone calls me Squrl because I squirrel off often.  I’m easily distracted and can’t focus or concentrate thanks to the MS.  I can be 3 words into a sentence and completely lose track of what I am saying or doing.  “Squirrel!   Oooo, shiney.”  It’s my squirrel moments.  If i continue to exercise my brain daily, I may be able to keep the cognitive difficulties at bay for just a little longer.  Plus, I enjoy learning.  I have fun doing research.  I firmly believe that the best weapon is a well educated mind.  

Don’t take this for granted! This is the first I have been able to sit outside in the evening in years!! Every place we have lived has been to hot for me to actually be outside in the summer. #fuckms #mslife #heatintolerance #daveagainstms #mssucks #multiplesclerosis #summer #summer2017 #backyardlife #relaxing #chillin #yyc #yycbeauty (at Rocky Ridge Drive)

It has been some really rough months health-wise since the heat started in May. I had two MS mini-relapses this Summer, and a whole lot of exacerbations in-between. #Tecfidera is helping me. I have this feeling that if it wasn't for Tecfidera those would be major relapses like 2 years ago. Anyway, this post isn't about MultipleSclerosis, despite the fact that I'm giving you an update on a part of my life. I came here today to say thank you to my friends who've been supporting me, either through donations or other ways, like listening to my rants, asking if I need anything; still asking me out for a drink, etc. It all counts! Thank you! ♥ I also want to thank my friend @ricardjorg who sent me this awesome game that I'll write about later on my blog! 🤗