#fuckms

Du willst ein Vorbild sein für anderre sein du willst all das was in dir ist unterdrücken.

We all do things for different reasons.  I have one primary reason for most of the decisions I make.... the MonSter.  Let me elaborate.  I have multiple sclerosis.  I was diagnosed in 2011 by a multiple sclerosis expert who didn’t even think I had it  This was after 13 years of symptoms and just as many neurologists.  MS does many things including deteriorating the body and brain.  Ever hear the phrase “if you don’t use it you lose it”?  That’s kind of how I look at things.  I push myself every day to do more, learn more, go further, or whatever.  Why? I know that my abilities and capabilities are going to be limited in the future.  It’s inevitable.  However, if I exercise my body and my brain it may help postpone what is coming.  The longer I have my faculties about me, the better.  So I push myself to learn and do as much as I possibly can in hopes that I stay me for as long as humanly possible because I know once the deterioration starts, I won’t be ME any more.  I will become a different version of me and I don’t know how I feel about that.  I’m not sure if I’m going to like that version or not.  Hell, I don’t know if I’m even going to be aware of the difference.  My cognitive function has already started to be affected by this MonSter.  I have noticed that I don’t remember as well, I have difficulty putting words together to get my point across sometimes, I stutter from time to time, and I just don’t know.  Everyone calls me Squrl because I squirrel off often.  I’m easily distracted and can’t focus or concentrate thanks to the MS.  I can be 3 words into a sentence and completely lose track of what I am saying or doing.  “Squirrel!   Oooo, shiney.”  It’s my squirrel moments.  If i continue to exercise my brain daily, I may be able to keep the cognitive difficulties at bay for just a little longer.  Plus, I enjoy learning.  I have fun doing research.  I firmly believe that the best weapon is a well educated mind.  

I guess it just became easier to remain isolated, with time. I can't remember when exactly I stepped into this loneliness of sorts bubble. I recall being at odds with being, and feeling isolated, somewhere around 2011/12, and even tried to get out of it. And I did, in a way. That's how I made some of my current friends, in Porto and elsewhere. And how I met my partner, too. When I came back to Coimbra I got into the habit of getting myself more out there, by going to some classes, and even after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a few weeks later I was shooting 📸 at a cosplay event, and then meeting lots of new people thanks to Pokémon Go! I was finally feeling like my old self, the Eloísa pre-isolation times, that I knew. And I was happy about it. What changed? When? I'm not sure if I truly wanna know anymore, but if I had to take a guess I'd say my loss of mobility and need for more physiotherapy than before was at play here. Hmmm... Yeah, maybe that whole year without PT didn't help, but stillllll... Can I point it as the sole cause for me currently feeling at ease with my isolation? Well, it's not 100%, and this year I'm having visits over at home, and I have friends, still... So maybe it's just a new form of dealing with things that makes me feel like I'm isolated, but not really being so, and thus me feeling so much at ease with it, maybe? 😅 Am I making any sense to you!? I mean, sure, I'd like to be able to go places more, and more easily. But at the same time, when I have friends coming over here instead that makes me more at ease with not getting out so much. Minus the REALLY ODD times I miss going out at night 🎶🍻 🕺🏻, I'm mostly just fine and dandy being at home, as long as I have my Wi-Fi and snacks... 🤷🏻‍♂️ When did that happen? Was it last year, after I missed WebSummit? Could that be the trigger for how I am, now? A psychological response of adjustment to my current mobility status? Is this making sense to my #MS sisters? __ #Blog #MSwarriors #MSlife #msawareness #FuckMS #MSwarrior #IhaveMS #thisiswhatmslookslike #personal #isolation #isolated #selfie https://www.instagram.com/p/B0urzehAU8A/?igshid=qp1fda5ewhj3

Dont ever trust your home girl @whineykim to spot she really thinks i cant lift... HEARTBROKEN HAHA #multiplesclerosisfighter #multiplesclerosis #powerliftinglife #training #olympiclifting #bodybuliding #bodybulidingmotivation #strongmanmotivation #strongman #legs #weightlifting #instagood #instafit #fitness #fitlife #fuckms #crossfit #motivate #motivation #nevergiveup #weightlifting #weightloss #chestday #quads #gymlife #gym #weightlifting #overcome #motivate #diet #benchpress #bench #fitness #motivation #lightweight

Don’t take this for granted! This is the first I have been able to sit outside in the evening in years!! Every place we have lived has been to hot for me to actually be outside in the summer. #fuckms #mslife #heatintolerance #daveagainstms #mssucks #multiplesclerosis #summer #summer2017 #backyardlife #relaxing #chillin #yyc #yycbeauty (at Rocky Ridge Drive)

It has been some really rough months health-wise since the heat started in May. I had two MS mini-relapses this Summer, and a whole lot of exacerbations in-between. #Tecfidera is helping me. I have this feeling that if it wasn't for Tecfidera those would be major relapses like 2 years ago. Anyway, this post isn't about MultipleSclerosis, despite the fact that I'm giving you an update on a part of my life. I came here today to say thank you to my friends who've been supporting me, either through donations or other ways, like listening to my rants, asking if I need anything; still asking me out for a drink, etc. It all counts! Thank you! ♥ I also want to thank my friend @ricardjorg who sent me this awesome game that I'll write about later on my blog! 🤗

Day 7 of works to do while having an MS relapse, bench is slowly getting back. . Bench is good for chest,shoulders, and triceps. . Top sets @mattmacarthur26 @ I did 345llbs #slingshot, 325lbs, I did 315lbs and 305lbs, Matt did 305lbs. . Kettle bell bench will help you work on stability. Top set for Matt 256lbs, me 293lbs. . #multiplesclerosissurvivor #gymlife #multiplesclerosisfighter #multiplesclerosis #powerliftinglife #powerliftingbody #olympiclifting #bodybuliding #bodybulidingmotivation #strongmanmotivation #strongman #diet #dietplan #chestday #homeworkout #weightlifting #gym #instagood #instafit #fitness #fitlife #fuckms #crossfit #motivate #motivation #lifestyleblogger #Benchpress #live #chronicillness (at METfit)

610lbs, 570lbs,525lbs, HatFeild box squat #squatz practicing to reach that 3x body weight squat by comp. 405lbs,385lbs,365lbs, low bar box squat defenaitly gotta go higher next week . #powerlifting #multiplesclerosisfighter #multiplesclerosis #powerliftinglife #powerliftingbody #olympiclifting #bodybuliding #bodybulidingmotivation #strongmanmotivation #strongman #diet #dietplan #homeworkout #weightlifting #gym #instagood #instafit #fitness #fitlife #fuckms #crossfit #motivate #motivation #lifestyleblogger #life #live #chronicillness #weightlifting #squat #squats #legday #quads (at METfit)