#ftm author

Everyday Simon has to restrain himself from hugging you and kissing you the moment you’re home. Running a business isn’t easy. You love what you do but, as you explained to him, you still need time to “deflate”. It took him a while to understand deflate meant. When he realized it meant you needed to relax and calm to shift to being home, he asked you how to help or what you needed from him.

Everyday once you lie down, you cover yourself in the softest blanket you own, and take a few deep breaths. Simon hums a greeting to you since talking isn’t something you want to do yet. Sometimes, you want him to join and sometimes you can’t people, even your forever person.

Everyday, maybe half the time, you pat the empty space next to you, you want him close to you. Simon takes off his shirt— revealing his delicious tits and torso with those biceps as perfect pillows—and crawls into bed with you. He has learned to wait for you to initiate physical contact. He learned the hard way when you’re overstimulated how touch is overwhelming and may triggers anxiety for you, like it has for him in the past.

Everyday you’re amazed that Simon is here with you every single day. When you two met, he was active military and always traveling. Attempting a romantic relationship with him just wasn’t worth it yet—not that he had any idea you were interested in him. So, you texted and talked on the phone when he could. You always missed him. He told you how he always loved hearing from you when he came back, no matter what it was.

Everyday when you get home, Simon is glad he decided to retire when his contract renewal came up. He misses the 141–his family he gets to see once or twice a month—but is worth it the moment he sees you next to him in the morning.

Everyday, hindsight being 20/20, he remembers how excited he’d get to hear from you or talk to you especially when he was on leave. He remembers Johnny and Kyle always teasing him about you. They supported him through falling in love with you when he was in denial. He was in denial for a long time. When on leave, you two would spend so much time together even with your friends and family. God, he wanted to kiss you, feel you against him, and hold you so much. No, he wanted to devour you and ruin you for anyone else. He smiles knowing now that he has you.

Everyday you’re glad you waited for him, waited over two years. Christmas that year, your parents were traveling. You couldn’t afford it but didn’t care. You wanted to spend it with Simon. It was just the two of you that year. You two fell asleep on the couch watching Christmas movies and getting a bit drunk (you become cuddly when you’re buzzed). Presents that year were very personal: you gave him a copy of your birth certificate showing your assigned sex—revealing you’re transgender—and he gave you his DD214.

Everything changed that day.

Everyday you’re thankful Simon didn’t care you are trans. It didn’t change anything for him. He wanted you for you, whatever that was or will be.

Everyday Simon waits for your touch, knowing it will come but not when. Today, you scoot over to him, lay on his bicep, and lay your arm on his abdomen. Smiling at how you love skin contact. Touch is one of your love languages and Simon revels in it. Once you start, he rolls onto his side, wraps his arms around you, and kisses your hair.

Everyday on some days actually, you whine and sit up to take off your undershirt and boxer briefs. You pull down Simon’s own boxer briefs, demanding naked cuddles. (Ignoring Simon being half hard. It seems he always is nowadays. Lol.) With your short stature, you straddle his abdomen before lying down to nuzzle against his neck. He grabs your blanket and lays it on you and him. It’s the perfect size for you.

He paused his game and looked at me. “What’s up?”

“Well… I’ve been seeing these stories lately. About people on HRT to become… not people.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there’s a lady I saw posting about her story as she’s turned into a tiger… a couple of cows… a mimic, a few slimes…”

“Ok?”

“Well… I think I’m a cat.” I waited a moment, almost holding my breath.

“...alright.” He spoke slowly, drawing the word out.

“Is that… ok?”

“It’s a lot.”

“Are you… are you mad at me?”

“No. Just confused.”

“About?”

“Why you’d want to be a cat.”

“Well… I don’t know. It fells right.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t know. I made the appointment to start it…”

“Start what?”

“The humanity removal therapy.”

“You could have talked to me first, James.”

“I didn’t think it would be a problem?”

“It isn’t. You know I already support you becoming a guy. This is more than I expected.”

“I know… I can cancel the appointment…”

“No, don’t. I want you to be happy.”

“Will you still do my shot?”

“Of course, kitty.”

“Will you go in with me to my appointment?”

“I can try, but I doubt they’ll want me there any more than they do for your hormone follow ups.”

“True… Thank you, dear.”

“Do you know what to expect?”

“Kind of? I’ve done research, but most of them are transfem, not transmasc. I only know of one other feline, that tiger I mentioned.”

“I guess we’ll learn as we go...”