#frustrated?

Too often it seems like the default reaction to anything whumpy is hysterics now. Nightmares? Cry. Startled? Cry. Anxious? Cry. Scared? Cry. Grief? Cry. Pain? Cry. Uncertain? Cry. On edge? Cry.

There's so much more for a distressed whumpee to do!

- Muscle tension

- Jumpiness/flinching

- Tiny acts of self mutilation (picking scabs, digging fingernails into skin, nervously flicking fingernails until one splits or tears, biting lips and inner cheeks, pulling hairs)... especially if they don't realize they're doing it

- Loss of appetite

- Inability to sit still

- Preferring to be on their feet vs. sitting or lying down because they feel better equipped to respond to anticipated danger

- Shallow breathing

- Holding their breath without realizing it (until they have to exhale)

- Needing to sit where they can see the exit/doorways in general

- Shifty eyes--afraid of looking at one thing so long they won't see another thing coming at them

- Clenched or grinding teeth

- Cold sweat

- Talking, singing, or humming to themselves to fill silence

- Nyctophobia/needing lights on all the time

- Clenching fists

- Inability to tolerate touch--jerking away or striking out when people try

- Needing to have their back against something (so nothing can sneak up on them)

- Pulling clothing tighter around them

- Tugging edges of clothing--collars, hems, sleeves

- Irritability

- Heart palpitations

- Angina (chest pain)

- Compulsive apologizing

- Voice gets quieter (+ overcompensating because they're aware of it and they end up being too loud)

- Oversensitive to other people's voices, asking others to be quiet even if nothing is happening

- Asking for repeated reassurance that nothing bad will happen as a result of xyz event/action/sound, people aren't secretly angry, etc

- Going quiet, disengaging from social setting

- Dissociation

- Pressured speech (talking excessively fast)

- Pressured eating (they wolf down any food they get... maybe they snarf it a little too hard and choke, even)

- Avoiding eye contact

- Keeping their head lowered

- Otherwise making themselves physically small

- Needing to be alone, or the reverse, fear of being by themselves

- Disruptive rituals (getting up on the middle of the night to check locks or do head counts, obsessively taking stock of everything they own multiple times a day)

- Inability to talk/articulate (even if they try)

- Dry mouth

- Distracted to the point of missing obvious things, I.e. when someone is talking to them

- Losing their place in conversation, inability to finish a sentence

- Tremors

- Hiccups

- Needing a security item, can be anything from a thing a reassuring figure gave them or just a worry stone/coin they can turn over and over as a self-soothe fidget

- Insomnia

- Sleepwalking

- Not asking for help because it's a sign of weakness

- Embarrassment/insecurity due to any of the above

Crying is not only an extreme, highly visible reaction, it's one many whumpees will not do where anyone can see them, out of fear of reprisal or just straight up shame. While a whumpee crying alone and isolated is super fun and awesome, a lot of y'all are wanting your whumpees to have trauma responses in front of others. And the reality is, traumatized people aren't a monolith. Not everybody is going to respond to triggers/stimulus with tears--or anything else that can be "fixed" with hugs, hair stroking, and generic reassurances from a Caretaker™. You also have to take into account how the presence of others is going to affect the way a whumpee reacts. (For example: How liable are you to just... straight bawl... in front of others? Particularly others whose intentions you may no longer trust 100%? You might be, but if you're not, this is your sign to reconsider whether your whumpee is.)

What responses have they been penalized for in their past, by a whumper or childhood/prior history? What responses are culturally acceptable/unacceptable to them? How have they reacted to a given response in the past when someone else has done it? Are things different now that it's them? What are the cultural/circumstantial factors governing others' reception of their response? Paying closer attention to the human elements of recovery whump is always the right choice.

So next time your whumpee is in acute distress, remember: Don't just have them cry, diversify!

Because some of y'all's whumpees are out here making me go

12. a hoarse whisper “kiss me”

This is probably not at all what your were asking for, but here you go!

“Run, Bodhi! Run!”

Cassian’s voice is as frantic as Bodhi thinks he’s ever heard it, but he doesn’t need to be told twice. He scrambles backwards for a moment, nearly tripping over himself and eyes going comically wide. “Shit, Cassian, I thought you said–”

Cassian grabs for his arm, catching his sleeve and yanking him out of the way just as a blaster shot singes past, alarmingly close to his head. “Forget what I said! Just run!”

The mission had been going so well, too. One tiny slip right at the tail end, and suddenly they’re both running for their lives. Bodhi’s not even entirely sure what went wrong, but he certainly doesn’t have time to think about it right now.

They barely make it back onto the ship, stumbling up the ramp and heaving for breath. Cassian shouts for K2 to get them out of there. “Go, Kay, go!” He pounds a hand on the wall on the way to the cockpit to make sure he has the droid’s attention. “We have to go, now!”

Bodhi doesn’t stop to hear the response; the ramp isn’t even up yet, and blaster fire is still raining down on them. Something explodes in a shower of smoke and sparks; he scrambles to the release lever, slamming it up as if that will somehow make the mechanism raise faster. It doesn’t, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. “Come on, come on,” he mutters through clenched teeth.

The ship lurches off the ground. “Ha! Yes!” Bodhi cheers, then whips around, “Uh, right– right!” He rushes up to the cockpit, only stopping once he’s leaning over Cassian’s shoulder and biting his lip to stop himself from backseat driving. Some part of him wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all; the last time he’d been in this same position, things hadn’t turned out so well. It’d ended with a crashed ship and a firefight, if he remembered correctly.

He can’t so much as take a deep breath until they’re in the clear. Even then, Bodhi’s heart races in his chest. Because– Holy shit,  they almost just died, again.

Cassian slumps back in his seat with a groan, and Bodhi lets himself collapse against his back, forehead thudding gently into his shoulder. “I told you I’d be no good undercover,” he grumbles, though it’s a bit muffled.

Cassian laughs. “We got it, didn’t we?” He fishes around in the inner pocket of his jacket until he finds what he’s looking for - a little disk containing sensitive information apparently critical to the Alliance’s next move - and waves it absentmindedly in front of them to prove his point before tucking it away again. “And it could’ve gone worse.”

Bodhi lifts his head, just to give him an incredulous look. “Yeah, we could be dead,” he snorts.

Cassian shrugs, offering a half-smile and arching his brows as if to reluctantly concede the point. “Or we could be captured.” Which– Yeah, okay, that would probably be worse. Bodhi winces, but hums in agreement.

They settle into an easy silence, still catching their breath from the sprint back to the ship and coming down from the flood of adrenaline thrumming through their systems.

After a moment, Cassian turns in his chair and extends a hand. “C’mere.” He tugs Bodhi up from his spot and into his arms, onto his lap. Bodhi goes willingly, wrapping his arms around Cassian and pulling him close. He doesn’t draw back until the knot in his chest eases and the tension begins to drain from his body.

When he finally does, Cassian meets his eyes, half-lidded and lingering. “Kiss me,” he breathes, soft but insistent, voice rough with relief and catching in his throat.

Bodhi smiles tiredly and leans in, more than happy to oblige.

and one more kiss prompt to go, for anon!

With season 15 having some SW references. This came to mind.