shh this isn’t super late, shhh it hasn’t been almost exactly a year since I last posted fic, shhhhhh I’ve been here all along
life hit me really hard, sorry! I hope everyone is well and enjoys this little bit of fic while I try to get back in the groove ♡
“This is a kidnapping.”
Tim doesn’t look up from his lunch. “No, this is a sandwich.”
His would-be kidnapper plainly watches way too many movies, because the slow, trying-to-be-menacing way he cocks his gun is straight out of every Western Tim’s ever (reluctantly) seen.
“Mr. Drake,” his kidnapper says with emphasis. “This is a kidnapping.”
One half of his (honestly incredible) sandwich finished, Tim does glance up…but only to confirm what he already knows.
“Please don’t get blood on the rug,” he requests politely. Then he attends to his (homemade!) potato chips while the idiot at the other end of the dining table splutters.
“I—I won’t get blood anywhere if you co—”
“Hey, dumbass,” Tim’s new bodyguard says, looming up behind the man like something out of a nightmare. “He wasn’t talking to you.”
Tim will admit to a bit of sympathy for the fool who came here looking to kidnap him. Jason Todd subdues him so quickly and easily, it’s hard to think of the idiot as any kind of potential threat. Sure, it’s annoying that he thought he could just waltz in here and abduct Tim, as if Tim weren’t smart enough to hire security, but…it’s like being mad at a dog for barking at the mirror.
It may get on your nerves, but the little guy’s too dumb to hold a grudge against.
By the time Tim finishes the second half of his sandwich, the whole matter is settled, and Jason Todd has returned to his guard position by the door, unruffled as always.
“Thank you for lunch,” Tim says to him and, caught in raptures over how damn good that meal was, only belatedly remembers to add, “And for dealing with the whole…kidnapping thing.”
Jason Todd shrugs it off. “It’s my job.”
“Protecting me is your job,” Tim corrects. “Making me lunch—”
“—is just protecting you from your own bad habits,” Jason Todd says, desert-dry. He’d been very unamused to discover, his first day on the job, that Tim usually only ate a granola bar for lunch. And sometimes breakfast. “Speaking of which, a little more concern when some asshole points a gun at you might not go amiss.”
“I didn’t see any reason for concern,” Tim says honestly. “I have you, after all.”
Jason Todd’s classic Bland Bodyguard™ expression flickers. Tim, being only human, can’t help but enjoy the way those broad shoulders shift in the equally classic Bland Bodyguard Suit™.
“I appreciate the faith,” Jason Todd says after the briefest pause, “but you’ve only known me a week.”
Ah, well, that’s…technically true. Tim has indeed only known Jason Todd for a week, since the man came on board as his newest bodyguard after Mike Takeda received an unexpected inheritance and quit.
“True,” Tim admits. “Still, I’ve got a good feeling about you. It’s hard to be worried with you in my corner.”
After all, Tim has known of Jason Todd since they were both kids—since he was watching Robin soar over Gotham every night. They’ve both grown up since then (and Jason Todd in particular has grown up very, very well), but even with him wearing a different cape these days, Tim doesn’t think anything will ever shake his faith in Jason Todd.
“…Thanks,” Jason Todd says.
“Again, thank you,” Tim says in return, then finally, reluctantly abandons his empty plate. “Now, I really need to get back to work. Join me in my office?”
“Of course, Mr. Drake,” Jason Todd says. He falls into step behind Tim without another word.
Jason Todd looms over Tim just like he did Tim’s would-be kidnapper, but the shiver that runs down Tim’s spine has nothing to do with nightmares. Quite the opposite, in fact.
He doesn’t know what’s motivated the Red Hood to take an undercover role as his bodyguard, of all things, but he intends to enjoy it while it lasts.
(And hopefully, with enough exposure, he might collect himself enough to get his inner twelve-year-old back under control. Really, at this rate, it’s only a matter of time before he calls ‘Pete Davis’ Jason Todd to his face, and then he’ll really have problems.)
I do still have my list of prompts and a bunch of them in my inbox, in case you were wondering! Prompt #37 was kidnapping, and it was also requested by an anon and @frozenbrimstone. I hope you all enjoyed ♡♡♡
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So I just went through your heaven's best AU and, I love it so much. it's hilarious and adorable. I love how much of an asshole Winner!Vox is, and how Val while trying to be nice even when Vox is struggling also is completely supportive of those asshole awful qualities. I do have one question for you, I know Angel knows that Vox and Val are close and called them boyfriends. But, are others in the hotel aware of just how close Vox is with Val? is there any concern there from them?
Charlie believes there's obviously something Vox sees in Val that is worth befriending him with. She kinda thinks it's cute a Sinner and a Winner are interested in each other. Reminds her of herself and Vaggie.
It's kinda a bummer about how awful of a boss Valentino is to Angel - but it turns out Vox is working on that! She'd love to see the results and... and um err oh gosh they're really going at it with each other maybe we should all look away for a couple of minutes there's some new exercises we can work on while Vox is uh busy.
Vaggie is all business with Vox and at first she saw him talking to Val as an attempt to help with Angel and the hotel. When it turns out they're friends, she's thinks this could still work out. When they find out they're sleeping together, she sees it as a problem. She can't really say anything about it though, especially when Val does start giving in to Vox’s asks about giving Angel more time at the hotel.
Husk got a bad feeling about it when he found out the two were hanging out. It only intensified when they found out they were sleeping together and Angel started avoiding Vox. He never brings it up to anyone.
Alastor was very interested in seeing what would become of this - until Vox became SO ANNOYING he decided to stop caring out of spite.
Niffty doesn't pay enough attention to Vox to care.
Lucifer doesn't pay enough attention to Valentino to care.
Emily knows that as a Sinner and Overlord, Val's done horrible things and is probably a bad person - but so is Alastor and he's helping with the Hotel so she doesn't see Vox and Val being friends as a problem.
Especially not since Vox seems happier and she wants him to have friends! Vox doesn't have friends in Heaven and she knows this. It's her job to make sure Winners are taken care of and she wants him to be happy.
She is excited and supportive as their relationship develops. She knows Vox is a good person so she isn't worried about it at all. And Valentino is always polite with her, if a bit shy and standoffish.
Vox doesn't really talk about him much with her. He usually avoids it.
The demiaroace flag (there's several variations, but at least personally the variations I like most use the same colors of black/white/grey/green/purple that they take from both ace and aro colors, but that is personal taste I understand why some people prefer the black/white/blue/yellow combo) with a shingleback skink or a northern loon? they're both "mate for life" animals that people don't often think
oooooh I'd never seen a shingleback skink before! That is one heck of a creature, excellent shape!
Loons have been on my list to make a pattern for for a while, honestly, they are so striking and such distinctive animals that it feels like it should be possible for me to make a good pattern for them but I haven't quite figured out the mechanics of it yet. There are some great generic bird patterns out there, but all the ones I am coming up with are very rounded, almost spherical, and the sharpness of loons seems pretty integral to them being recognizably loons, especially if we're changing the color palette, so I think this one would not be a plushie (for now). I think I'd use this foundation paper piecing pattern, or one like it, and make either a wall hanging or a tote bag out of it
As for the skink pattern, I have sewn a pride gecko before, but I think I'd want to crochet it to get that pebbly texture. With crochet I pretty much just freehand it and takes notes as I do so, so the only real pattern note I have is that I think I'd want to use something like the lemon peel stitch for the texture, which would make it a large plushie (or I'd have to use very thin yarn lol)
I just found you, and just read through all of your Jaydick omegaverse ruins Red Hood's plans and GAH, it's so good and I love it so much
Oh, thank you and also I'm so sorry, haha, pretty sure that fic is just all OVER the place in the beginning of its WIP tag. Glad to hear you dig it, though! 💙
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so were you ever able to take a guess at whose eggs Wilma claimed as her own? did the eggs hatching give you an idea or anything?
Yep you can find info about Wilma and her chicks on her “/wilma+the+wheaten” tag.
As for the parentage, there’s a blue chick, which means by necessity it was either Aris or Aurora since the others cannot genetically produce blues under Orion. On the one hand, that kind of sucks because I know that one is a boy, BUT on the other hand, the pied chick looks purple, so it’s likely she’s a girl. While I didn’t particularly want to hatch out Aurora’s eggs, after some closer comparisons and the INTENSE broody reaction of Aris this year, I’m pretty sure Aris came from Aurora, so I’m hoping those nice genetics shine through again. It’s possible that Aurora’s early-years feed and care were more responsible for her poor conformation than genetics, which would be something.
JSDKFLJEKFL Y’ALL ARE ALL SO SWEET; I’m so sorry I’m not responding to these individually- there’s a lot, but I’ve read through all of them!- and thank y’all so much!!
These comments are just so fucking sweet, and y’all made all 2 months fucking worth it
