#frothing

'aw, thanks.' she grins, genuinely touched for just a moment. 'i think this is the one.'

you refrain from muttering thank god because that would probably make her leave you at the mall or make you clean her bathroom or something; instead you just give what you hope seems like an enthusiastic thumbs up. you follow behind her as she pays and takes the garment bag.

'let's get a pretzel,' she suggests, leading the way to down a corridor. 'wait,' she says, turning toward you with wide eyes. 'have you ever had a mall pretzel?'

you haven't, because there were maybe three boutiques, one thift store, and a dollar general in broken bow in addition to the feed stores—certainly no mall. in undergrad and the past few years of medical school, you didn't really have reason and you definitely didn't have money to go spend hours buying a suit at the mall, especially one nice enough that they put it in a garment bag. you shake your head no.

'oh, you're in for a treat. we'll get a sweet and a savory. they're disgusting, i love them.'

'sounds contradictory but okay.'

'you'll see, don't worry. i didn't eat for, like, years in high school, but i would always go for auntie anne's.'

'that's… not normal.'

you follow her until you're standing in a moderately long line. 'don't make a big deal out of it. i'm fine.'

you wonder if she means she's been through recovery or if she's "fine" in the way she's also fine about other things in her past, which is to say mostly functional day to day and very good at work the majority of the time, but also mean when she doesn't need to be, unable to sleep well most nights, in a situationship that sucks, and kind of a mess overall.

however, she seems currently quite happy about the pretzel situation and orders two pretzels along with one side dipping cheese and another of some kind of icing, and you watch the employees make more pretzels with rapid fire speed, folding the dough. they're definitely high schoolers or college kids so you think it's a cool skill, honestly.

she motions to you to collect your order since she has her purse and garment bag , and she heads toward a bench a little further away instead of the sticky-looking tables in front of the store.

'better people watching,' she explains, sitting down and setting aside her things.

the pretzels are, in fact, both delicious and off-putting at the same time, but you get it because you're happy to finish both of them with her.

'why are you so stressed about this conference?' you ask, halfway through the cinnamon sugar pretzel. 'i thought you had no intention to do anything with peds.'

'i'm not stressed. and i don't have any intention to do anything with peds.'

you raise a brow. 'you're really good with kids. you could do a fellowship.'

trinity groans.

you shrug. 'just saying.'

'whatever. anyway, i'm not stressed.' she rips off a large piece of the salted pretzel and dunks it angrily in the cheese.

'sure.'

she rolls her eyes mid-chew. 'fine. one of my exes from med school is going to be there. i saw their poster on the app when i registered.'

'ah.'

she grimaces. 'yeah.'

'well, how did it end? like, are you nervous to see them again because you still have feelings, or was it a bad breakup and we hate them?' when she doesn't answer right away, you decide to really go out on a limb: 'oh my god, were you the problem?'

'never in my life have i been the problem in a relationship. not once.'

you wait for a few moments to see if she's going to laugh, and, thankfully, she does, so you can join in. 'yeah, you're totally great at being forthcoming with your feelings.'

'shut up.'

'see? case in point.'

'ugh. whatever. it's just that i was admittedly kind of an asshole—'

'—kind of?—'

'—yes, kind of. and they're also just… still very hot.'

'do you follow them on instagram?'

'i… okay, well, they have a public profile and they never blocked me, so…'

'trinity, i'm so sorry, but this is making my day.'

she throws a napkin at you. 'the real problem is that i need to focus when i'm there. i have my poster and people will hopefully ask good questions; it's good networking.'

'for your future fellowship in peds, totally.'

'fuck off.'

'i'm just saying…'

'in general, it's good networking, idiot.'

'and if you're not in a good suit, you won't be able to focus?'

'well, i have to look hot too, obviously.'

you collect the trash from your pretzels into the bag, and then get up to throw it away while she situates the garment bag over her arm. 'you will,' you reassure.

'like you could even gauge.'

'okay, you can objectively recognize when a man is hot, trinity.'

'if i have to. under absolute duress.'

'just take the compliment.' you walk beside her as you head out to the car. the parking lot is huge and it takes a few zigzags and her setting off her alarm before you find it, but you get there eventually.

'anyway,' she says, situating the music and waze before she backs out of the spot carefully, 'this was a great mall trip, actually. now you've experienced a seminal and vital part of being a teenage girl.'

'being bored?'

she puts her sunglasses on. 'talking shit about an ex while you eat a pretzel and people watch, obviously. it has to be earned sometimes. although, next time we should go see a terrible movie after.' she fiddles with the music at a red light, and then puts on a pop 2010s playlist that makes you laugh. 'on theme, okay? just go with it.'

'alright,' you say, and she rolls the windows down and takes the side streets instead of the freeway. she knows every word to gaga and ke$ha and aly & aj, and you feel a sudden, genuine thankfulness that she's in your life. she makes your world bigger.

when you get home and settle in, she hangs the garment bag in the coat closet.

'you're gonna do great. and your ex is going to be so jealous.'