So, a lot of you are going to be freshmen in college soon. A lot of you are going to be drinking for the first time. Around people you have never met before in a town you barely know. If you are anything like I was, the first year of college will be a crash course in alcohol consumption. So, here’s a guide to how do handle it without dying in the process.

Bread is your friend. Bread absorbs alcohol and is a good way to prevent hangovers. Eat some when you want to sober up. Won’t work after the fact though.

Water is your friend. The headache of a hangover comes from dehydration. Stay hydrated, drink water, no headache. NO CAFFEINE. Caffeine makes you piss. 

Breaking the Seal: when you start drinking and then use the bathroom, you lose the ability to hold your bladder for the rest of the night. 

If you feel like puking STOP DRINKING IMMEDIATELY. Park your ass by a trashcan, sip water, and wait until the feeling passes. Your body is sensing you are at Dangerous Booze Levels and is trying to stop you from hitting Critical. Listen to your body. It is trying to keep you alive. 

if you feel like puking EAT NOTHING. Bread will not help in this situation. You’ll only vomit. 

NEVER LIE DOWN. Sit up and try to stay awake. If you lie down, there’s a good chance you’ll fall asleep, vomit, and choke on it. 

If you are past Maybe Puking and are in Definitely Gonna Happen territory, find a trash can/sink/appropriate bucket and puke. Trust your body on this. 

Puking won’t purge your system of alcohol. It will only get rid of the stuff yet to be processed by your body aka the shit in your stomach. You’re still Very Drunk. 

You can just try a drink. A lot of alcohol tastes good and is nice to have with a meal. A lot of it tastes nasty. It’s perfectly okay to try a drink and not finish it. 

You don’t have to get drunk every time you drink. It’s perfectly okay just to have a beer and not even get buzzed. You don’t have to be plastered at every party. 

Drunk You is the same as Sober You. Except they are going to say the first thing that came into your head and do the first thing that they wanted to do. Own up to the shit that you did while plastered. Never accept “I was drunk!” as an excuse. 

Don’t get drunk during Frosh Week. It will be tempting as hell but the worst shit happens during Frosh Week. Nobody knows what they are doing but every single one of them is convinced they should do it. Ambulances were at my school almost every night during Frosh Week. Stay sober and know that there will be better parties later in the semester. 

Don’t get drunk around people you don’t know well. If people invite you to a party, stay sober the first time. A good party is still a good party whether your drunk or not. If you still feel safe around them after you’ve seen them drunk then go ahead and hit the booze the next time. 

Friends who only want to hang out if people are drinking aren’t your friends. They are alcoholics who don’t want to drink alone.  

NEVER MIX LIQUOR. A glass of wine and a can of beer are fine companions if you are not having a lot. A shot of whiskey and a shot of vodka are going to hit you like a One-Two Punch from Mohammad Ali. Stick to one. Avoid the hospital. 

Pour your alcohol first when making a drink. It’s near impossible to figure out how much alcohol you’ve added to a glass when drunk unless you can see it. Pour the liquor first then add your mixture. You’ll get a better tasting drink and less chance of over doing it. 

You never know how drunk you are sitting down. Stand up every once in a while and walk around a little. 

If your drink is ever out of your sight it is dead to you. Say a little eulogy and get a new one. Preferably in a new cup. 

Google the bars/clubs. Learn their reputations. You’ll be able to avoid the bad ones and enjoy your nights out more. 

Find out which areas are safe to walk through at night. Find out which ones you need to call a cab for. Find out which ones you should never go to. No party is worth your life. 

If you have never been drunk before, don’t know anyone you feel safe around, and still want to know what it’s like, get some alcohol, pick a movie, and start a drinking game. Have the rules on a sheet in front of you so you won’t get mixed up. Start with beer/wine/cider the first time and ignore the shots rules. If you handle that well, wait until you’re sober to do it with liquor. 

If you need a ride to get home, always make sure you have enough money for a cab to get you home. Make sure your phone is charged too. Getting stuck somewhere because your ride fell through never ends well. 

If money is an issue, some universities offer a free-ride program to students. Program the number into your phone and know how far they will go from the university with pickups and drop-offs. 

No it’s not mandatory, I never attended frosh myself. Frosh is a week full of fun events for new incoming York students, it’s organzied by colleges and allows you to start off your university experience by meeting new students in your program and having a good time basically. You would purchase a frosh kit when they become avilable.