#fromcalitodc

I came to D.C. almost two years ago to start anew. Not because life was rough or bad in California, I was simply ready for a change. Now, 21 months later, I’m planning my next move. Things started off wonderfully here. Everything was brand new, including relations with men. I was excited about the weather, food, the architecture, proximity to New York, all the fine ass Black men, my new job, new people in my life. I was a true east coast groupie living her dream. Then, disillusionment became my reality.

My job was not what I expected, and the authoritative and punitive attitude of management does not fit well with the laid back Cali style I am accustomed to. The number of women outnumbers men so much so that every man is either taken, cheating and taken, bitter, playing, about nothing, or all of the above. This past winter was the longest winter ever, and I can’t seem to figure out if I want to be in or out of the city.

So here I am, 17 months away from my 50th birthday, contemplating a new career and a new place to call home. Believe it or not, I’m not fearful or worried. I am strong in my belief that this is where I am supposed to be in my journey. Today, a close friend called me a gypsy. A coworker refers to me as a free spirit. My mother says I have always had my own mind. They are all accurate.

The last day of 2015 is now upon us. My evening is not progressing how I expected or planned. I went from wanting a date, to going to a 90s party on my own (but the tickets sold out), to bar hopping in my ‘hood, to meditation or prayer services, to walking the streets with my pup, to hanging out around the corner at my local café/bar/restaurant. Many options, but none feel right.

I am finding myself feeling sad, because I am here in my new city alone. Although I have met people in my past five months of residency, those connections don’t seem to be NYE worthy or ready. (However, I did spend pre-NYE with someone special.) I prefer to spend NYE with folks that I love, know love me, and want their presence in the new year.  

There are nine days left in 2015. What a year this has been. It seems like only yesterday I was searching for jobs in the D.C. area and feeling uncertain about my ability to actually make the cross country move. I have now been living in Washington D.C. for five months. Everything is still very new for me, and there is so much that I have yet to experience. I remain excited and continue to feel favored.

With the new year ahead, I am focusing on life changes, continued spiritual growth, and traveling plans. The new year, my born day, and my son’s day of birth are my favorite days of the year. I’m not keen on traditional holidays and celebrations, but I do think it’s important to celebrate one’s day of entry into this world and the start of a new year. For me, the calendar year is how I (and others) track my life, and it’s important for me to see change and growth throughout my existence. I want to continue striving to present the best me possible. My best is not always the best, and I can acknowledge this and move to improve in areas where I fall short (pun intended, since I’m only 5′ on a good day).

My life seems crazy busy these days, but in a good way.  I’m not overly busy to the point where I have no time for myself.  It’s more that there is so much going on that I really have to prioritize what I spend my time doing.  Make sense?  Unfortunately, exercising is not a priority right now, and I’m mad about it.  I just can’t get myself in gear like I was a year ago.  I haven’t been to the gym since November; I haven’t ran in a couple of weeks; and I am doing HIIT workouts maybe twice a week.  I’m going down.  <insert sad face>  I have, however, been walking more since I’m on public transportation, and I have been completing yoga sessions.  I’m moving, just not how I want to be. 

I have 3 interviews this week for positions in D.C.  Can you believe it?  And, a potential interview for a summer position here in the Bay.  I want to work this summer to help build up my cash flow for my move.  Although I love having those 10 weeks off, working a summer school session won’t be too awful.  It’s doable. 

I spent the weekend studying and hanging out with friends.  I had two great dinners out and worked from home today to get through some end of the school year paperwork and prepare for my interview tomorrow morning.  I’m a little nervous, because I have to present a workshop via Skype.  The material is somewhat foreign to me, but they allowed ample time to prepare.  We shall see how it flows.

I've been contemplating my impending move to D.C. for quite some time, but this morning while showering I realized that I may actually be leaving California in six months.  What was once five years became next year, then next fall, and now possibly this July.  I'm both excited and anxious.