#twighlight

-

When would he feel normal again?

It had been a week since Bella had left for Italy to save that piece of shit Edward Cullen. A few days since she came back, and confirmed to Jacob the truth:  

“Jacob, don’t! Don’t make me choose. Because it will be him. It’s always been him.”

He was physically cringing at the sentence uttered by someone he once thought himself to be in love with. It was sick what this was doing to him.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally, he was drained. It was like all the life was sucked out of his body. Because that's what Cullens do, that's what they’ve always done. 

Here Jacob was, lying in his bed, unable to move. Just as he was the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that.

He was so confident this time. Confident that without that bastard around, things would change. Life would go back to normal. Normal as in life before there was an Edward, before there was a side of him that grew fur and four legs, life when he was himself. When she was herself.

These past few months, it felt something at least close to that. Sure, he had still phased, and Bella was still depressed post the absence of that demon, but they were happy. Bella was happy, for the first time in months, he could see she was truly enjoying life. And that was in part because of Jacob… as humble a statement as that may be. It was true. Right?

He felt as though he finally made a breakthrough in their relationship. He could remember how close their faces were when the phone rang in her kitchen, so close to something… more.

But just like most things, that too got taken away from him. She never was really his, was she? If it was so easy for her to run back to him. Jacob probably never really had a chance.

Was that all he was to her? A rebound? A distraction from the absence of him?

Jacob lay motionless in his bed where he had been residing for the last few days, with occasional checks from his father.

Just then, he heard a knock at his bedroom door. It seems like now was one of those times.

Jacob refused to make a sound, knowing Billy would open the door anyways. Just as he thought, after a moment, Billy swung the door open, rolling in to find Jacob in the exact state he was in the last time he came in, and the time before that.

“Jacob… the truck’s been shakin’, I think it needs a new fuel pump.” Billy announced, checking for any sign of life from Jacob. Nothing. Jacob remained silent, staring out into space.

“Let’s go to the garage up on South Ave so I can buy a new one, get us both out of the house.” he suggested, trying to encourage some movement in his son, or what's left of his son.

Jacob barely gave a nod, which was enough for his father to roll out of the room. There was a silent understanding that Billy would be waiting for him in the living room.

Jacob's phasing was already something he was struggling to deal with mentally since February. He was waiting, hoping, that with some time, he would go back to how he used to be before… at least mentally. But now this?

Things would never be the same. He would never be the same. That was all he knew.

-

It took a few minutes of dissociation to get out of bed and back to “normal life”.

But here he was, in the usual garage he and his father frequented for parts. A pathetic excuse for normal, he thought.

His dad, friendly with the shop owner, Tom, seemed to be cracking jokes and making remarks about last night’s Seahawks game as Jacob glanced around the hidden gems of the garage. Subaru Outback, Volvo 240, Toyota Tacoma, girl, BMW 325i.

His brain almost short circuited as his eyes doubled back to what he was sure was a figment of his imagination. But no, it was not. Jacob furrowed his eyebrows and studied the figure of the girl who seemed to be looking for something on the back wall of the garage.

Absent mindedly, he titled his head, curious.

Her hair was styled like she’d stepped out of a Patene commercial, not a garage. Jacob watched the way she moved, casual and unbothered, like the oil-stained floor should be grateful she was walking on it. She even still had her jacket on, what he assumed to be one of those Hollister ones with the fur lined hood. And yet, she didn’t seem as though she simply got lost on her way to the register overpaying for an oil change. His eyes wandered from her shoulders, to her hands… and beyond. The worst part? He noticed all of it. And he hated that he noticed. 

Part of him, however guilty, was dying to see what her face looked like. 

“It’s been shakin’, right Jacob?” he heard his father ask for confirmation. Jacob looked away from the girl in the back, to the men in front of him, snapping him away from his thoughts.

Jacob pressed a flat smile to Tom. “Right,” he muttered.

“I think it’s the fuel pump, the damn thing shakes even when it's just idling.” Billy sighed.

“Maybe it's the ignition coils.” a voice chimed in, walking to the front and handing Tom a wrench, to which he took it without question. Jacob’s gaze traced the familiar hand passing the wrench, up her arm, to find eyes sharp and curious staring back at him.

Damnit. She was pretty. Too pretty.

Jacob dragged his gaze, jaw tight. Of all days. He had enough anxiety as it was.

“Bad coils can make it jerk and misfire without the engine stopping,” she explained, cool and precise, snapping Jake away from his train of thought. “The fuel pump usually doesn’t make it shake like that.” she noted.

Jacob looked her up and down, intrigued by her ability to insert herself into the conversation. He didn’t know how to respond. His lips twitched entertained. “I’ve seen a weak pump do the same thing.” he retorted.

She raised an eyebrow at him, folding her arms. “Then you weren’t paying close enough attention.”

There it was. She seemed the type to say something like that.

Jacob’s eyes narrowed at her tone. “Why should we be taking advice from someone who's nails look like they've never touched a car?"

Her gaze locked on his, unflinching. “Should I draw you a picture if what I’m saying is too complicated?” she remarked in a tone feigning concern.

Jacob didn't take himself for much of a masochist, but oddly enough, he liked her attitude. “You’re just blaming the coils because that's easier,” he concluded.

“More likely because my car had the same issue.” She pressed her lips and nodded over behind his shoulder.

Jacob traced the direction of her eyes to a black BMW 325i which was up on a lift, before returning his attention back to her, his ears warming. Oh.

“It’s a textbook coils issue, dude.” she stated.

He sneered. “Read all the textbooks you want. Some things you only know from experience,” he said, letting his gaze linger on her as if to imply she lacked the latter.

“Y/N, keep it up and I won’t have any customers left…” Tom scolded, shaking his head, clearly used to her smart-ass streak.

So that was her name.

Tom cleared his throat, returning attention to Jacob and Billy. “Ahem… Billy, Jacob, meet my niece, Y/N. She’ll be staying with me for the summer. Y/N, this is Jacob Black, and his father, Billy.”

Billy tipped his hat, trying to ease the tension. “Nice to meet you young lady. Should’ve put two and two together—you know your way around cars, just like your uncle here.”

Y/N’s glare softened as her gaze moved from Jacob to Billy. “Nice to meet you. I don’t know that much about cars actually… just the basics.” She extended a hand to Billy before simply passing Jacob a knowing look. Jacob tried to look elsewhere in an attempt to ignore her less than subtle shade.

“Y/N’s going into her senior year, so are you, right Jacob?” Tom asked, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

Jacob forced a nod.

“Well, maybe the two of you will see each other around,” Tom suggested while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I doubt it. I go to school on the rez,” Jacob noted plainly, briefly catching her gaze.

“It’s cool. We wouldn’t run in the same circles anyways.” Her voice was low, teasing, causing him to grit his teeth.

“I hope you don’t come crawling back here when you realize it was the coils,” she added, a playful edge in her tone. “It was nice to meet you, Billy.” she smiled, walking away, but not without sending Jacob one last glance—a glance that was impossible to read, something that said “holier than thou”. 

“Well isn't she just a ball of sunshine?” Jacob muttered as he watched her walk away, earning him a scolding nudge from his father.

Tom and Billy went on, trying to overcome any teenage hormones left in the air. 

Jacob crossed his arms, turning his attention back to the truck, pretending to observe it until his eyes wandered toward where she had disappeared, unable to find her. 

Who was she to insert herself into a conversation that had nothing to do with her? 

Who was she, period?

She knew nothing about him. And he knew nothing about her.

And that was the worst part.