#friendchips

“Mind if I join you?” He asks, already sliding in beside you. You shoot him a glance, place your wine glass down, and hold your finger to your lips, “Shhh babe, this is my favorite part!” Ash rolls his eyes, wraps his arm around your shoulders and places a kiss to your temple. A grin the size of the Cheshire Cat begins to spread across his face as you emphatically recite Vivian’s speech to Edward, never missing a beat. This moment made him glad that he’d come home early, otherwise he wouldn’t have realized that he was overwhelmingly head over heels for you.

I’m falling more and more every minute, and I don't think I can live without her

You were curled up reading by the light of the bedside table lamp, when you got the text from Ash.

Ashhole: Stay w u 2nite?

You knew he was out with the boys, it was Thursday night after all. They’d probably been drinking for a couple hours. Ashton liked to think he could hold his liquor, but really it just took longer to hit him.

Y/N: Sure babe, be safe. Make sure you’re drinking water my love xx

Your lip perks up a bit, you hadn’t been expecting to see Ashton until at least Saturday. You wondered what drunk Ashton would make an appearance today: philosophical Ashton or energetic Ashton. Half an hour passed before you found out.

The front door unlocked and you could hear several sets of feet enter, walking towards the bedroom. You set your book on the night table, as the bedroom door opened and in stumbled Ashton being partially carried by both Cal and Michael.

“Y/N! Light of my life, muse for my soul, fire of my loins!” Ashton called out, the boys dumping him on his side of the bed.

Calum giggled as Michael made a disgusted face, “Dude! I don’t wanna hear about your loins!” Calum wraps his arm around Michael’s shoulders, “Hey, Ash can’t help it. The loins want what the loins want,” earning him a punch to his arm from his friend. You laugh at their stupid antics and gave Ash a once-over to see if you could handle him on your own.

“Alright boys, I’ll take it from here.” You get up from the bed, much to Ashton’s chagrin.

“Baaaabe,” he whined, “they know how to leeeeave.”

You roll your eyes, “yeah but I gotta lock the door you bum.”

The three of you leave him pouting, as you walk Calum and Michael to the door.

“He wouldn’t shut up about you y’know. The whole night.” Calum says, as he hugs you.

“Yeah, he was like that annoying song that gets stuck in your head. We only put up with it because it was about you.” Michael says, giving you a tired smile.

You beam back at them, letting them out only after they ensure you that they’ll get home safe. You lock the door, shut off the lights and head back to your room, shutting the door.

You look at Ashton, who’d gotten his shoes and shirt off, working on his pants. He was looked back at you, with the dopiest smile. You take in Ash’s appearance: his hair messy and falling, his hazel eyes were glassy, and cheeks flushed from the alcohol. His chest was out, boasting his dark chest hair, shirt hanging on by a single button. You raise an eyebrow as you meet his eyes.

“You good there?” You question, walking towards the bed.

“Oh I’m beautiful, y/n,” finally undoing the button, taking off his pants before sliding into the bed, “Of course I’m nowhere near as beautiful as you.” You scoff as you lay down in bed next to him. Ash pulls you close, wrapping his arms around your waist, placing your head on his chest.

“Did you have fun tonight bub?” You ask, playing with the hair on his chest.

“Yeah...missed you though.” He candidly answers, kissing the top of your head. “What’d you do?”

“Nothing exciting really. Spoke to my sister, FaceTimed my mom. They both say hello. Mom wants to know when you wanna…” you trailed off, noticing how slow his breaths had gotten.

You reach over to turn off the light on the beside table. You lay back on Ash’s chest, and you’ve almost drifted to sleep yourself when Ash pipes up, “I like this,” his voice laced with fatigue, “coming home to you. Going to bed with you. Almost like it’s meant to be easy,” he yawns, “just like this.”

You look up at him, his eyes are closed, lips slightly raised in a content smile, dimples shadowing on his cheeks.

“Night, Ash” you whispered, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Night y/n, I love you.” He replies, causing your breath to stop. You two had been seeing each other for a couple months, dating exclusively for a while but hadn’t said the L word yet. Neither one of you wanted to put expectations on the other by saying it too early, knowing you had both been hurt by previous lovers. You’d wanted to say it a few times, but didn’t want him to not say it back. With a sad smile, you chalked it up to him being drunk, and soon found yourself in slumber.

How lucky am I that I get to love this girl?

I get to see that side of her that no one knows but me

When you were upset, the number one rule was to not let people see you be anything but poised. They didn’t get to see you in your moments of weakness because you felt that damaged the strong, independent woman image that you’d constructed around yourself. When Ashton found you, you were sitting in the bathtub. He could see the tension in your shoulders, smell the lavender bath salts in the air as you were attempting to cool down. You looked like you were a ball of stress, and Ash felt bad that he couldn’t do anything about it. You had seen him walk in, yet hadn’t said a word to him, which was uncommon for you. So, he left you to your bath and waited until you were ready. You found him on the couch, waiting for you. Taking a seat in the armchair, you wrapped your arms around your legs, and stared aimlessly at whatever Ashton was watching, not really caring or understanding what it was going on.

“Y/N, honey, you need to eat something.” Ashton urges as he set spaghetti down on the coffee table in front of you. You had no idea when the movie had ended or when Ashton had started cooking, but you knew he was right. Ash himself sat down across from you with his own plate, face etched in worry. You pick up your fork, and twirl the spaghetti on the fork. “Okay, that’s step one.” He jokes. “Step two is lifting it up and getting it in your mouth. Like this,” Ash says, demonstrating by putting his fork in his mouth as if you were a child. “Step three is to chew like this.” He began to chew emphatically, loudly smacking. This garnered him an eye roll, which made him feel like a kid in a candy store because at least you were reacting. You put the spaghetti in your mouth with a sarcastic smile, “Happy?”

“Not if you’re not.” He replies, shocking you thoroughly. It’s been a couple of weeks since his late night confession. He didn’t seem to remember it, and so you’d been acting like he never said anything. You look down, playing with the noodles on your plate, pushing them around. “Hey,” he says tenderly, “we don’t have to talk about it. It might help you but I’m not gonna push you. Okay?” You look up at him, gratitude and anger and sorrow all swirling in your eyes.

“Yeah, okay.” You gave him a sad smile, and tried to eat because he wanted you to. He chatted nonchalantly about his next tech-free vacation in a cabin in the Nevada mountains, complete with fishing and bonfires. You’d finished what you were going to eat, satisfying Ashton who whisked the plates into the kitchen.

When he returned you were feeling a little better, so you joined him on the couch. On a commercial, you begin to speak. “Thanks Ashton. I’m not used to this...the whole ‘someone cares when I get into a funk’ thing?” His hand intertwined with yours as you continued, “I really,” your voice began to wobble as tears threaten your eyes, “a-appreciate you being here for me, but also giving me my space. So thank you. And thank you for not making me talk about it.” You gave his hand a squeeze and tried to fight the tears in your eyes, but a few fell anyway.

“Hey,” Ash said wiping the tears, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, or to anyone else for that matter. It’s my job to be here for you, it’s what people do when they’re in lo…” he took half a hair of a pause, “relationships.” Your eyes widened slightly, wondering if you had imagined him almost saying the L word again. You wanted him to say it again, consciously, so you could say it back. He tinged a bit pink before continuing, “It’s okay to cry Y/N, you get to withdraw. You get to be sad, you don’t have to be so damn strong all the time. And when you need someone to tell you that, I’ll be here. No matter what.” Ash pulled you into his side, wrapping his arms around your frame, kissing your temple. Internally, he was cursing himself for almost saying he was in love with you. What if you weren’t ready for that yet? He didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had. You pulled back and placed kisses on his forehead, his nose, and finally placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Thanks Ashton, I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

He tinged a deeper pink as his cheeks, “I ask myself that all the time Y/N.”

My paradise is that bedhead beauty with the sleepy eyes

My best night is any one that ends with her

You had spent the day at Ashton’s, you’d come over the night before and it had been too late to drive home. When you awoke, you were facing Ash with his arm wrapped around your waist. You took this moment to look at your boyfriend. Ashton’s eyes were closed, his eyelashes splayed a crossed his cheeks, his lips slightly parted as he breathed. His hair was a curled bird’s nest atop his head, making you smile as you remembered running your hands through it last night during a heavy makeout session. Even with the bedhead, he was still one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen. It was more than his appearance though, it was who he was as a person. Ashton was patient and kind, he didn’t push you when you were upset. He was optimistic, trying to see the good in everything, even when the chips were down. You knew this was something he’d had to adapt and it could be hard sometimes, but that didn’t stop him. Ashton was open minded and took all facts into consideration before making decisions, a quality that is rare in a person, never mind a 24 year old rockstar. That rockstar passion of his carried over to more than just his drumming. Ashton would no questions bury a body for his friends and family. He was exactly the kind of person everyone needed in their life.

And as a boyfriend? You couldn’t ask for much more. He was attentive to you without being overbearing, listening intently to you talk about things he had no clue about or interest in. He made sure to send at least a good morning and good night text everyday. Whenever he saw something that made him think of you, whether that be flowers on the side of the road or a new notebook, he made sure to get it for you. Everything between the two of you was mutual, and talked about. You were still getting used to having a boyfriend who wasn’t just in the relationship because of the sex or the fact that you didn’t ask their every move; one who didn’t try to control you. Ashton was a breath of fresh air. The calm after many storms had hit you, and you knew a couple of weeks in, you loved him. Point blank. It scared you how much you wanted, no, needed him around; how much he constantly took up your thoughts, wondering what he was doing and he was remembering to eat and sleep properly. You’d wanted to tell him a couple of times, but didn’t know how to slip it in. Everytime you thought about saying it, you chickened out. You wished you could just say it, but you didn’t want to scare him with these big feelings you were having. But you wanted to shout that you loved Ashton from the rooftops. As he stirred awake, his eyes opening slowly, a smile when he saw you beside him, you knew you had to tell him and you had to tell him soon.

My real deal girl with her hair up, guard down, telling me what's on her mind

Ashton turned the key to unlock the door to your apartment, feeling like he’d been using your key more than his own lately. But as long as you weren’t turning him away, he’d keep coming back. You were sitting up against the headboard on your bed, reading something on your phone when he came in. You’d changed from your work clothes and were chilling in sweats, glass of wine on your bedside table. Ashton took off his shoes and jacket and joined you on the bed. You finished the article, locked your phone and turned your body to give him your attention. He took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers. He looked a bit off, not his usual happy self.

“Ashton, what’s wrong bub?” Worry laced your question, he had been fine when he’d left a couple hours ago to go shower and grab some clothes from his place. He shrugged in response, fiddling with your fingers in his hand. You were confused, had you said something? Was he regretting this?

He sighed and turned to look at you, his eyes dulled. Ash was not one to hold back, so he took a breath, before speaking.

“It’s just...what are we...what is this that we’re doing?” He was making direct eye contact, making you squirm a bit.

“Um…” you hesitated, “Where is this coming from?”

“It’s just I can’t tell if we’re on the same page. If we’re in this together. What is this to you? Is this short term? Is it long term? Because if it’s short term...let me know now. I can’t risk it again.”

Your heart began to break in your chest, you cleared your throat, and move from the bed. Pacing the room as you begin to answer his question. “I don’t know about you, but I’m in this for however long you are. I go to sleep thinking about you, I wake up wondering if you’re up. I miss you all the time when you’re in the studio for days on end. I worry about if you’re getting enough sleep and if you remembered to schedule your appointment for the optometrist like you’ve been saying you would for months.” “I…” Ashton tries to interrupt, but you hold your hand up to stop him because if you don’t, you were never gonna get this out. “I feel safe with you, unguarded. Like I could say anything in the world and you wouldn’t question it. I love how open you are with your fans, and how affectionate you are with your family. I love how passionate you are with your beliefs, but not so passionate that you’re dogmatic. I love the way you listen no matter what, and you know when to back off. I love that you call me out when I’m being outrageous. I love that you pull me closer when we sleep. That you cuddle after we have sex, and you don’t just turn over. You ask if I’m okay with plans all the time. You kill the spiders that I will not touch,” this elicited a giggle from Ashton. You give him a smile and go back to intertwine your hand with his, “Ashton, I love your mind and how thoughtful you are. And apparently it’s taken way too long for me to say it when I’ve felt this since the beginning,” you rushed, “but I love you, I am in love with you and I am falling for you more and more every day.” You finished, heart pumping rapidly. The room was silent, you were sure Ashton could hear your heart’s rhythm. You nervously began to fidget with the comforter, waiting for Ashton to say something.

“Ash, can you say something? It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll be fine...I just. I can’t lose—“ it was his time to silence you, with a soft finger to your lips.

“Wait...why didn’t you say anything when I told you I loved you that night I stayed over? After the night with the boys?” Ashton inquired honestly.

“I didn’t know if you would remember and I didn’t want to tie you to something you said when you were drunk. What if you were just saying it y’know? I couldn’t do that to myself, not again…” you were rambling again and Ashton stopped you again.

“Would you hold on a second so I can tell you officially that I love you too? I love that you go on long winded rants and that you pick out all the orange and yellow skittles to eat first so that the rest of the pack is only the good flavors.” He smiles at you, making your heart warm. “I love that you fight me on things all the time and that I can come to you at any point and you’ll drop everything. I love that you let your guard down, you let me see the real you. The strong and beautiful, caring and sarcastic version of you that you try to hide. I love that you don’t start driving until you pick the perfect song, and that you sing off key to my music when you’re in the shower and you don’t know I’m here.” Ashton gets closer, stroking your cheek and making sure you were listening. He leaned in a little bit, before dropping to just above a whisper, his eyes searching yours as if looking for answers, “I’m in it for as long as you want to be, because I love you too.” You leaned the rest of the way in and met Ashton’s lips with your own. You wound your hands in his hair, as he pressed his to your back, pulling you in, trying to get your bodies as close as possible. This kiss was full of all the love that you guys had been negligent of admitting, it was hard and soft. You pulled back for air, and placed your foreheads together, giggling,

“I love you” you said.