I have so many questions and I feel lile I should have been an investigative reporter for all the 4th of July shit in this part of Florida.

There's just some interesting mascots this year, I think.

Check out the weirdly muscular dog! Very America. It's a character I could see as a furry costume, if it were done by a grizzly 50-something motorcycle-loving leather daddy. JUST TRY TO TAKE IT!

We got eagles, a couple of them. But who's the C-grade Donkey Kong character? Like the bastard lovechild of Joe the Camel and a gorilla?

A few gas station attendants and I have decided it is Bigfoot! Whose foot is the 'i" in America.

Sadly, the Bigfoot shotglasses did not have the amusing 1776-2026 written on them.

This is the format I desire.

AMERICA

1776-2026

is typically used for obituaries. Curious fun fact, there.

Also, I'm pretty sure this is a shotglass, but that little scooper cup next to it is for 30g of protein power. Good call, Chinese factory dude. I also feel like this is the correct American liquor measurement.

Normally I have feelings about this stuff but I don't shoplift where I get my drinks every few days.

Now I feel like it takes explaining. This stuff doesn't appear as "cheap Chinese crap" to me, like how it's complained about. It's the cheap American-commissioned crap from a Chinese factory, about the same quality I'd see with free stuff from parades and festivals.

That means someone went to a factory on ali baba or wish or something and intentionally placed an order for thousands of monkey US flag lanyards. They saw a butterfly bandana and said "yep, muh FREEdumb!" They intentionally bought these things and purchased a display for all this stuff, as a money-making enterprise.

And it worked, too. At least a couple bucks at a time, but it worked. This shot glass belongs on some altar to drink and charge with every refill.