#freebeardhell

I'll be there!!

he looks so softe

(Sorry this has taken me so long to post- I got home and wanted to actually speak with someone and ended up skyping a friend for a few hours whoops.)

Okay so. I know that the first thing all you that are reading this will want to know is "WHAT DID TODD SAY? WHAT HAPPENED???" SO, here is the very short version: he turned me down but was wonderfully polite about it. Now, before I get into telling the long version, let me just say that I'm fine. I feel okay, surprisingly (or at least surprisingly to me?). As I told one friend of mine, I'm kind of doing emotional inventory right now. The main thing is that I feel fine. Everything is okay, the world is not ending, and I am fine. But- I'm also happy and sad and relieved and disappointed. And it may take me a few days to really sort out how I feel right now. I think Doc knows I'm a little sad because he's being extra affectionate tonight.

So now I'll get on with my usual rambling tale.

Todd was a bit frazzled tonight. He kept forgetting where he'd put things (like his folder) and where he was supposed to be sitting. So every few minutes he'd have to ask me "where did I put my music? Am I the first or second seat in? How many chairs are we putting on this row?"  It was honestly kind of adorable. But apparently he'd had a weird sort of presentation at his firm today and it had left him a little scatter brained.

We didn't really get much time to chat beyond that until the end of rehearsal. Lisa and Leslie were talking to us for a while after but then they both decided to make their ways home. But, before she left, Lisa was trying to tell us that someone had accidentally taken someone else's pecan order tonight. The unfortunate (but hilarious) way she decided to phrase this was to tell us "Bill's nuts are missing". She almost couldn't say it she was laughing so hard (which just made me and Todd laugh). So hopefully whoever it was will realize they have an extra order and will return it on Friday or next Tuesday.

Once Lisa had left, I got to talk to Todd about how I've had 3 opportunities to buy him dinner in the last week (because I'd insisted on doing something for him since he's been so wonderfully generous with concert tickets the last few months- did I ever mention that before? I can't remember whoops...) but have forgotten to claim his check each time. So I asked if, provided our board meeting on Thursday don't run too late, he'd like to go out after. He said it sounded like a great idea. (Honestly, cross your fingers for me because I've been trying to make plans like this with him since May and every single time something comes up- I'm beginning to think the Universe doesn't want this to happen in any capacity. If we have to cancel this time I may rip my hair out.)

Something made us think of this ridiculous thing we were a part of almost 2 years ago called SHORE. (Basically, some dancer was visiting FSU and for this thing she was doing, she wanted to feature the voice as the instrument? So they were asking for singers from the community to come be a part of it. And Todd and a few other Chorale folks and I decided to see what it was all about. I don't think I've ever been a part of something that could so easily be described as a clusterfuck until SHORE.) But we were making fun of the things we'd had to do for it and it dawned on me that, before then I'd never really talked to Todd (or my friend Alana). But we'd (thankfully) been sort of grouped together for it so we sort of bonded over the experience. And I pointed it out to Todd and he said "well at least something nice came out of that."

We also got to talking about Shakespeare. Which is one of those things that Todd can talk forever about. It's so wonderful to talk about because, even though I really don't know much about Shakespeare's works, I love to see and hear people talk about things they really enjoy. So watching Todd geek out over different plays is just fantastic. But we talked about Patrick Stewart's "MacBeth" and Ian McKellen's "King Lear" and "Slings and Arrows" and somehow this all lead to a discussion on the English language and how it's evolved here and in the UK and the different cultural influences. And it was so wonderful but we had to cut it a bit short because of some fairly strange noises followed by sirens and a helicopter with a search light... So we decided that we'd pick the conversation back up on Thursday night and we said our goodnights and left. (Also, I've noticed that, recently, Todd either waits for me to get into my truck before he leaves his parking spot or he'll pause near where I've parked and wait until I'm in safely and then drive off. He’s honestly such a sweetheart- he also gave me a ride back to my truck after the community Chorus Concert on Sunday so I didn’t have to walk 1/2 on my own in the dark.)

Now, here's where I need some advice from you wonderful people that read these posts (even if you're not tagged in them- I'd still love to get your opinions):

I really want to ask Todd out. This week preferably. I'm just trying to figure out when.

On Thursday, we have our board meeting and then hopefully dinner. On Friday, the Chorale has our first sing-out of the season.

So I could ask Todd out on Thursday after dinner (because I really want to do that before I try to ask him out? I feel like, if I'm rejected, it would just be really awkward to try to buy him dinner? Does that make sense?) But also, if I make a move on Thursday and am turned down, I'd then have to see him on Friday? So maybe I should try to ask him out on Friday? That way we'd have a whole weekend before we had to see each other again which would hopefully help with any awkwardness that could arise? But, he has plans to go to a concert on Friday night after the sing out so I don't know if I'd get a chance to ask him then?

Also what does one say when they want to ask someone out? Like, if I were to just be like "would you be interested in going out sometime" how can I make it clear that I mean as a date? Without saying something that sounds like it should be said by a high schooler?

Apparently tracking tags isn’t working???? So I’ll try to tag as many of my “wingmen” as I can in the post as well:

@freebeardhell, @cumbergoddess, @eternity-is-a-terrible-thought, @reshmarambles, @ofkellyabbott, @xshelbyx91, @goldenheadfreckledheart, @annehathawill, @lunalovegouda,    @debatepapaya