#frecklesthecosplayer

I just followed because your food pics are LIFE GIVING

Unless Tumblr becomes unusable or I find that so many people leave that I don’t find it worth posting all these things, I plan to stay here.

Oh gosh, I’m not sure I know what to say. First of all, I would stay away from words like “normal.” “Normal” is a concept that I find breaks down the more you look at it. What is normal anyway? We can all conjure a mental picture of a “normal” person....but how many people fit every aspect of that hypothetical normal person? Hardly any, if any at all. “Normal” is an average. Nobody actually IS normal. Therefore, logically, you’re no more abnormal than anybody else. 

And if you can hold onto that in your head, I find it helps on good days. If you look at someone who gives off every appearance of hitting “normal” dead center and you remind yourself, “I just can’t see what makes them abnormal, but everybody IS abnormal.” If you can learn to sort of re-write comments about how great a girlfriend you’ll make so that you get the person’s positive intention and you just....drop the stuff that presumes shit about you that is untrue. I dunno. That’s what works for me on good days. 

I have to say that I found something that made an ENORMOUS difference and it has made being asexual something I feel more proud than ashamed of these days. It’s the change you’re responding to....I used to just not mention it, even here, on tumblr, where I DO feel safe. I used to not even really mention it in my own head. But then I found this key to unlocking feeling GOOD about it.

The key was a friend who thought it was cool. SHE felt proud of me. SHE thought it was one of the positive qualities about me. She brags about me being asexual. She squees about my asexual pride t-shirt. 

I think a person like that is the key. It sounds like your sister has that in you. 

So you can tell her that some random 35 year old on the internet is proud of her for working on figuring out her sexuality (and I AM, so super proud, and even if she decides later that she’s not, I’m thrilled to call her my kin in the meantime), but I think the fact that you went looking for me? It will mean infinitely more. 

As a final note, I have a sister who was my closest friend growing up. She’s a year and a bit older than me and we were like a hive mind during childhood. But she has struggled a LOT to be supportive of me in this area. She would have understood lesbian, bi, poly, or trans, but she cannot wrap her head around this one. If I had had a sister who was proud of me and jumped in with enthusiasm, I think my evolution would have been a lot kinder. The difference between how my sister has responded and how that friend I mentioned responded has been revelatory for me. The one that was helpful never held me to a standard of what people are supposed to be like and actually just responded with open arms to my strangeness. I mean, being ace IS strange. It IS abnormal....but it’s also cool and true and yours. It’s hard to kick “being normal” off the pedestal in your mind, but on my good days, that’s what I’m working on. 

So here’s what I suggest for you: keep being enthusiastic about your sister being ace. She doesn’t have to be normal because no one ever is normal. Buy her (and yourself!) an asexual pride t-shirt or a bumper sticker. Buy her Every Heart A Doorway and read it with her, get hyped about it. The key bit is to recognize that being asexual is GOOD. It’s hard to believe that on your own so help her remember. 

I don’t know if that’s helpful or what you were looking for, but there you go. 

here’s what i was able to find!

Stiles' Ultimate Gift by LillianDeLooney (14/14 | 44,529 | NC17)

Stiles is a spoiled brat who’s sent away to the Hale Family Farm to learn a lesson in respect and hard work. Naturally, he isn't happy about it, but that changes when he meets a very special little girl and her amazing father . . .

“What about you Stiles?” Derek's daughter, Kenny, asks innocently. “Are you gay?”

He chokes on his own spit and quickly downs the remainder of his coke, ignoring the blush stretching from his head all the way to his chest.

“I ah,” he clears his throat awkwardly and rubs a hand over his neck. “I might be?”

She sends him a knowing little smile and nods. “Good.”

~ A story about how to live life, not how to spend it.

New Ways to Fall Apart by mrsbeas (1/1 | 2,062| NR)

Stiles gets hurt and finds out more than he bargained for from the doctor. Which sucks, because running with a pack of wolves should be a lot more dangerous than a trip to the doctor's office.

Two Minutes for Holding by captaintinymite (augopher) (17/18 | 117,988 | NC17)

There were three things college hockey players Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski knew for certain. 1) Their lives revolved around hockey, 2) They were madly in love, and 3) Derek was so far in the closet he might never find his way out.

They'd been together for two years now, and for two years they'd been a secret with only a few people knowing about them. Yet Derek's fear kept them from moving forward: fear of his family's rejection, fear of his sexuality tanking his father's career, fear of the rampant homophobia in professional sports. The ruse was growing thin.

Something had to give.