frecklesshake replied to your post: gilbert blythe invented heart eyes and no you...
extreme heart eyes when she resulted to violence
gilbert, 5 seconds after getting whacked with a slate as his face starts to bruise: I canāt believe Iām going to marry her
moody: you donāt have to
gilbert: No. Iām GonnaĀ
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random question that you don't really need to reply to but hey i need to vent: do you ever get tired by fandom these days? like, more than you used to? 'cause fandom used to be a much more pleasant space for me, and now it just gives me awful, awful anxiety, generally because of the turn the tumblr "discourse" took
Iām exhausted.
Iāve been in this fandom for five years, and there have been a few times I came close to walking out, but itās a long time since I gave any serious thought to that. Years. Though my interests can make me feel pretty lonely at times (and, if Iām being honest, Iāve had some pretty intense bouts of that loneliness in the past year), I also feel comfortable here. I feel like Iāve carved out a corner for myself, even if sometimes Iām the only one in it.
I havenāt really thought about just packing up and moving on since probably season 11. And even now, Iām not seriously considering it beyond a few moments of what if I just left?, but I am feeling deeply exhausted, especially with the inexcusable bullying thatās been perpetrated by certain corners of the fandom, but also with other small cumulative things about the general fandom culture that the increasing polarization makes me feel less and less free to even talk about.
Iām nervous to even vent on my own blog about feeling isolated in my fandom interests (not expecting anyone to change, just to get the feeling out) for fear of being seen as contributing to the problems of popular ship backlash, for fear of even of a whiff of appearing to support those who think bullying is acceptable response to similar feelings.
There have definitely been some bright spots lately. Season 15 for all its hiccups has given me some real meat to sink my analytical teeth into and believe me, I couldnāt be happier about that, and Iāve had a lot of fun following this season. There have been a few really sweet comments about my meta made in reblogs and tags and such that I havenāt responded to directly, but know that Iāve seen them, and appreciate them deeply. There are some people whoāve been a true ray of sunshine to me, and some conversations that have helped pull me out of that sense of isolation.
But I am tired, and frankly Iām scared, based largely on bad experiences in another fandom, about where this increasingly polarized fandom culture is heading. Backlash against popular ships may be inevitable, but bullying is inexcusable. You canāt simultaneously claim to be addressing a widespread issue and relentlessly target one individual. The issue becomes a smokescreen, and the disingenuous motives become apparent very quickly. And from there, a genuine good faith discussion becomes near-impossible.
And when discussion becomes impossible, when people are just focused on trying to defend their friends and themselves from attack, the warās already over and weāve all lost.
Iāve made my mistakes too, in my time in this fandomāIām not perfect either and I know Iāve spoken where I shouldnāt have, in ways I shouldnāt have. Iāve given in to biting sarcasm where thoughtful diplomacy mightāve actually accomplished something. Iāve hyperfocused on an issue and lost my sense of proportion. Itās not as though I donāt understand how that happens. Iām passionate. Iām a hothead. These days Iām a hothead fighting my hothead impulses daily, striving for thoughtfulness and clarity and perspective over reactionary snark. I can only do my best, and thatās all any of us can do.
But I wonāt deny Iām tired, and I wonāt pretend I know what the answer is, or how to try and help to set things right.
never written it before, but definitely could give it a try!
and i would say yuuri/victor, except then i would probably get jossed by the fucking canon.
________________________put a fanfic trope in my inbox and I will tell you:how likely I am to write it // what character(s) or pairing Iād most likely write it for
@frecklesshake replied to your post ārandom question that you don't really need to reply to but hey i need...ā
Hah, incidentally, season 11 and the beginning of season 12? I think? were what made me drop rvb. I'm considering going back and watching to keep up with the s15 revelations, but I don't know? Even then, I'm so disinclined to *produce* anything fandom-wise that it's just... Eh. Idk. I was talking more about fandom as a whole, but if it makes you feel any better, I've always kind of looked up to your cool-headed analysis of things (will finish in another ask).
<3
Honestly a lot of what I said probably translates to fandom as a whole, considering that I had uncomfortably similar experiences in another fandom just last year. Different polarization, but some similarities.
As great as it always is to see you around, you gotta do whatās best for you and if a fandom isnāt bringing you joy, then sometimes itās best to find something else that does.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
added to TBR | on my TBR | couldnāt finish it | did not enjoy | it was OK | liked it | loved it | favorite | not interested
iām embarrassed to say that itās been sitting on my shelf for about a year now and i still havenāt gotten around to it but iām hoping that iāll get around to it this summer