#fraysid

Sidurgu doesn't like to think about what draws the quiet warrior back to Ishgard. Maybe he's here on business, and stopped by on a whim. Maybe it's the pull, the agonizing emptiness that calls for more - more - to drag all the world down with him.

In the end, it doesn't matter. It's not his place to judge, or speculate on another's inner workings. Even so, it's familiar. The echo of a man he once knew, who would do the same, who would stay by his side into the long hours of the night. In silence, if need be.

"Sid." Vhel finally says, long after Rielle had gone off to bed. He doesn't elaborate, staring down into his wine. Sidurgu raises a brow at him, and waits. And waits. And-

"Well?" He snaps, "What is it?" There's a noise in the back of Vhel's throat and he turns his face further away.

Emet-selch had seen it. "There's a parasite on your soul." Hythlodaeus had seen it. "It's almost exact, except... There's something else that I don't recognize. A friend, perhaps...?" Even Y'shtola had seen it, "Your soul was already denser than most."

Vhel puts his wine down, and clutches his hands into his arms. They still ache, joints stiff and static, begging him to curl up and let the fading remnants of the Light consume him.

"...Do you wish I had died, instead of him?"

Sidurgu's black and green eyes shoot open, staring down at him. "Where is this coming from?" He sounds more surprised than angry, at least for the moment. "I thought we settled this years ago."

There's a pained expression on Vhel's face, which he hides under the mop of hair he calls bangs.

"Was it worthwhile?"

"We did. I know," Vhel admits, the defeat evident on how his lips flatten into a line, "But I think... Some part of me - some part of him - still..."

"What," Sidurgu interrupts, "wishes he was walking around in your corpse?"

"... Still misses the warmth of your back on his while trying to sleep in the snow, of late nights talking about the future, training, or anything. Even the tactile sensation of your blood, pooling in the cracks of his gloves, thick with--"

"That's enough." Sidurgu slides Vhel's drink further from him across the table, and the normally quiet warrior goes silent once again. Sidurgu studies his face, what can be seen of it, and sighs.

"So, that's why you come back," he whispers, "not for you, but for him." He scoffs, in a way that gets Vhel to snap his attention up to him. Sid just waves him off.

"You told me you'd seen him, walked with him. Or some shadow of him, at least." He quirks an eyebrow, as if waiting for confirmation, which Vhel provides with a nod. "Not unlike what we saw when that kid came out of the crystal, I reckon," a sigh, "so, do it."

"...Sorry?" Vhel whispers, his voice choked.

"Do it, call him forward. Let him say it to my face."

"That I- that he misses you?" Sidurgu crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair. He pang of regret settles in his chest when Vhel's expression drops. He didn't think he'd really--

The form in front of him shifts in the lamplight, flecks of darkness obscuring his shape, until all that remains are those golden eyes staring back at him. Vhel had mentioned his were from overuse of ancient magic, but even those were not as vibrant as the gaze that pierced through him now. He can barely see it, the fingers that reach out towards him. It's as if there was nothing there, just the absence of light, but he swears he feels it trace up the scales on his cheek. Then more, pulling him deeper - deeper - begging him to drown in the void, the abyss that sleeps just out of reach.

"Vhel-"

His breath is stolen from him by lips cold as ice, by smoke curling down deep into his lungs. It could consume him, right then and there, if he let it. If Vhel let it. It crosses his mind, only briefly, how much control Vhel really had. Was it a thread he'd just pulled loose? A thin veil that evaporates like aether into air? Or did it take everything he had to keep this locked in, forever coiling into his soul - until it becomes indistinguishable.

And how badly did he want to give in?

Sidurgu wrenches himself free, grabbing the railing for leverage against the intangibility that pulled on him.

"Vhel, that's enough!" He barely bothers to keep his voice down, grabbing the abandoned glass of spiced wine and splashing the contents onto the nothingness in front of him. With a start, Vhel recoils, golden eyes clenched shut as the halo of darkness fades around him. He releases a held breath and opens his eyes to the horror that is Sidurgu's expression in front of him.

"I-"

"-Miss me, I got that." He puts the now empty glass back down on the table. A heavy silence falls over the corner of the Forgotten Knight. Gibrillont is staring, eyebrow raised, though he's not sure how much of that he saw. There wasn't anything to see, really. There wasn't anything there, just a darkness out of the corner of your eye.

Vhel clicks his tongue as he opens his mouth, before he shuts it again. He stands, a horrible creaking noise coming from his joints.

"...You should check on Rielle," he whispers, rummaging for Gil, "I won't bother you again."

"No." Sidurgu snaps back, "I'm glad it's you, Vhel. I'm glad you survived." Vhel looks at him with eyes wide, "You should come back whenever you want to. Rielle would miss your outlandish stories, and I... I would miss you. The whole you."