Dec 31, 2014
My blog is five years old today.
I feel old. :|
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My blog is five years old today.
I feel old. :|
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Birthday Blues
After the candles have been blown and the cake has been eaten, birthdays, I have realized, throw you head-first in an existential crisis.
I dreamt of you again last night—probably the second time this month, which is weird considering how long it's been since we last spoke. I was at a buffet table struggling to get some soup when you approached to help. As my bowl was almost filled to the brim, you tipped it over and laughed. My eyes were fixed on the contents of my now-empty bowl that ran all over the table that I hardly noticed you walk away. It's funny, but that's exactly what happened between you and me. You filled me with hope before pulling the rug under me, and I am left struggling to get up and pretend like I knew all along how all of it was going to end.
It's been a while since I last wrote about you, and for a moment there I thought I was done. But I guess I'll always be writing about you, dreaming about you, until the next heartbreak comes along.
Some awkward moments are harder to get over than others.
You sleep on it hoping it gets lost in a dream, but then you wake up and its still there taunting you at the back of your head. You shake it off and say it really wasn’t that bad. You try to recall what happened to convince yourself that it was indeed just fine, but then you start to notice the smallest details and begin to overanalyze. I should have said this. I shouldn’t have done that. And then you remember what made it so awkward in the first place. Well, maybe you shouldn’t be overthinking it. Maybe you just shrug it off and move on. Maybe you just need to realize that some awkward moments are harder to get over than others, but you will get over it. I hope.
After 2 trips barely 2 weeks apart, I am officially broke. I will have to scrimp and cut down on my little luxuries but I regret nothing. To be able to try surfing for the first time and scale a mountain 2922 meters high are experiences that are truly priceless. Now my tired feet (and empty pocket) can rest while we wait for the next adventure.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Even when I don't spend much I still end up with an overwhelming amount of credit card debt. :/
Maybe that's all life is—a series of unanswered questions.
Franstar