#fp advice

dont worry!! vent to me any time!! 

i think it might be healthy to take a step back and re-evaluate things. are you constantly relying on your bf/fp for emotional support during times of emotional crisis? if you are, that might be what he’s so stressed about. relying on one person to help you when you’re in need is both draining on the other person and unhealthy for you. never fear! i can help you and you won’t have to give up your bf/fp!! i’m gonna give you some resources!!

first you need to start by identifying your triggers so you can learn to avoid them and prevent mood drops from occurring in the first place. if you can, i highly suggest downloading Daylio. it’s a free mood tracking app that allows you to rate how you’re feeling and you can pin what you’ve been doing recently. it graphs it out according to time and you can very easily pin point possible triggers. daylio also has a password protection feature so you can keep your entries nice and safe from prying eyes! if you don’t have a phone that can download daylio, invest in a pocket notebook. when you feel sudden shifts in mood, whip it out and write it down.

frequent venter? try downloading a venting app that will allow you to get it all out without having to go to somebody. (notebook is also a good non electronic replacement)

i also highly recommend checking out the dawn room when you’re feeling down!

if you’re a writer, artist, or musician, channeling your emotions into your craft really helps as well. there’s a reason they make you do art/music therapy when you’re in IOP. even if you’re not crazy talented in the arts department, there’s no harm in scribbling or doodling when you get upset.

i hope this helps!!

I can’t imagine anybody is ever ready to become that important. I don’t think anybody strikes up a conversation with another person and expects to accidentally become the center of another human beings universe. I certainly didn’t.

It’s terrifying to learn how much power you have through trial and error. You constantly make mistakes or accidentally hurt them without even knowing it.

You don’t hear your phone go off: They think they are being ignored and that you hate them. You have to be ready to reassure them.

You have plans with your spouse: They believe they are being abandoned and split on both you and your spouse. You have to make sure they know you’re not leaving them behind and be patient until their mood levels out WITHOUT taking offense to the things they might say.

They are the most loving, caring human beings on the planet: Until they split on you and they either vanish for ten hours or scream at you. You need to let them cool off, don’t chase after them looking for some kind of explanation because the chances are good that there is no explanation and looking for one will only escalate the situation into tears and a fight as that will leave a scar on both of you.

YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO BREAK PLANS WITH OTHER LOVED ONES TO HELP THEM WHEN THEY ARE OVERWHELMED.

YOU HAVE TO BE READY FOR WHEN THEY HIT A DEPRESSIVE EPISODE AT MACH 5 AND STAY THAT WAY FOR MONTHS.

YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO STICK WITH THEM WHEN EVEN YOU CAN’T SEEM TO HELP.

YOU HAVE TO NOT GIVE UP ON THEM.

YOU HAVE BE READY TO PUT ASIDE YOUR OWN NEEDS SOMETIMES. THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS.

YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO FALL INTO EVERY SPIRAL WITH THEM AND HAVE YOUR EMPATHY EAT YOU ALIVE.

YOU HAVE TO BE STRONGER THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE.

YOU HAVE TO NOT GIVE UP.

DON’T GIVE UP.

SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

An FP is often confused with best friend by nuerotypicals. In reality our friendship with our fp is quite literally our reason for living. It’s who we are and it’s all we want. You are so dependent on this one person that not having them around physically hurts. It hurts so much.

This could be called an apathy split! Splitting is the sudden reversal of emotions towards an object or person in a short span of time. Apathy splitting is when a borderline, or any other person, grows suddenly numb towards a person, thing, or life in general as a defense mechanism. In your case it’s to avoid feeling the pain of abandonment!

Read more about splitting here!

Hope this helps!

I’m so sorry babe. That sounds awful! It’s possible that she could have cut you out for fear of you abandoning her or that she split on you entirely. Either way I don’t know how to help you. The best thing you can do is take it one day at a time okay? Stay safe, keep hydrated, and stay strong. If you need somebody to talk to I’m right here!

Yes! It is!! This is called apathy splitting!