#fosterhood

that in this very difficult time Rebecca, Clem and Sandy are together and safe.  That Asia is doing well and spending time with them.  That some how all the craziness of the rest of the world is creating a tiny circle of calm good sense and permanency WITH SAFETY is happening.  Hoping with desperation that something good is happening in NYC’s family court for a family we all care so very much about.  

Hi Friends.  Quick update from the Harlem home of Fosterwee.

Blitzen, Carrie and I officially adopted each other in September, 2016, nearly 10 years after Blitzen entered the foster care system.  Blitzen has grown into a brilliant, fierce and fashionable teenager with remarkable talents and wonderful friendships.  To know her is to be smitten.

Blitzen’s youngest sister moved out of our home in 2016, and is permanently with her father.  (Yay for permanency!)  Her oldest sister Dancer, 17, has been in our care since October, 2016.  Three of Blitzen’s siblings are beginning their 11th year in foster care with no permanency in site.

Carrie and I remain passionate about creating a child welfare system that works for kids, parents and communities.  We believe that public policy should support families.  We believe that undoing institutional racism would lead to better outcomes.   We believe that permanency is essential for the health of children. 

We believe in #PermanencyforSandy. We love Rebecca, Sandy and Clementine and miss the Fosterhood blog, which was a huge inspiration for us.

Two active blogs we appreciate are AdoptiveBlackMom and The (Foster) Moms Must Be Crazy.

I’m addicted to Twitter: andrewhume

Carrie and I sincerely appreciate all the virtual love and support we’ve received over the last 5+ years, thanks to the potent combination of Blitzen’s inimitable spirit and Carrie’s ability to capture it in prose.  We’re thinking about jumping back into blogging someday.  Meanwhile, we’re delighted to connect with folks advocating for a humane, equitable child welfare system.

What happened??!!

I have been spotty with Tumblr lately and then came back to find this group and Rebecca gone. Did something happen with Sandy’s case? I know permanency for her and for Clemmie’s siblings has been a total mess. I hope they are alright. 

There has been so much upheaval lately in our nation. I keep thinking about the people that will get left behind in the national surge of revolt. I want you to know that you are not forgotten, we are still here, and we will still fight the moment you ask.

To start this off with a bit of a laugh - when I started my tumblr with a friend, we named it @fivespicepr0n because we were going to use the tumblr one way, but it almost instantly devolved into a personal tumblr. I started reading/following @fosterhood back when Jacket was living with Rebecca and recognizing the sensitivity of a fosterparent blogging about her foster child/children, I’ve been feeling guilty for YEARS about the name of my blog. I’ve had anxious nights worrying that because I follow the @fosterhood blog, someday Rebecca’s children would be taken away because I’ve got pr0n in my blog title and therefore look like an internet creeper, and Rebecca would be held responsible for the fact that I know about her kids. I resolved that if it ever happened, I would fly down to NYC to explain myself. I never participated in the @fosterhood community because I was worried my name was going to wreck everything, which is hilarious when you think about it. How was I going to get a day in court to explain myself when Sandy can’t get a day in court?

Rebecca’s blog has been an amazing first person account of “life in the system”, and it’s a damn shame that it had to come down because it’s an invaluable resource for incoming foster parents, for people who would like to advocate for change in the system, and for people who are outside the system to understand the grind and the unfairness of the system. Rebecca has highlighted issues of race and the focus on parental rights rather than children’s rights, which for me was a giant eye opener. 

I’m so thankful to Rebecca for all the years she’s given to her foster children, for the portrait of ideal fostering that she shared and all the work she put into trying to be that ideal support to families, and for the time she took to write about her experiences. She’s turned into more than just an informed, empowered foster parent, I think Rebecca has the potential to turn into a true agent of change in the foster care system of NYC and I hope that comes to pass.