#foster parenting

I usually don’t make a post like this, but as some people know my gif fried and I are fostering three of her siblings. Friday we have a legal meeting to talk about the next steps and their mom is pushing for total reunification.

The rational part of me who has been watching multiple foster parents on youtube for years and understands that the foster care system is FUCKING FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF AND FOSTER PARENT AND FAMILIES DO NOT GET ENOUGH SUPPORT and babies are meant to just exist, not save people:

Comic shop images will be on a temporary break as seven three week old kittens magically appeared outside my front door sometime last week. The container they were left in was left out in an open area not under any shade, in a plastic container that if it would have rained that day I don't even want to think about that. Fostering until they are an adoptable age has now begun, please accept photos of kittens until comic book images start up again. Apologies in advanced for any issues this may cause, got one more comic that had already be in queue so autoposts later tonight but hiatus starts after or things will just randomly be posted (possible more kitten pics).

-----

Meet your new X-Men:

Let's start with Professor X, he is so much more advanced than his siblings. Eats fine, loves pets, meows the least, even waits for the others to eat first before even worrying about food for himself.

Jean Grey and Phoenix, both beautiful little tiger or tabby girls, one gray one brown, super adventurous, the pair don't care, will come up, cry for food or be ready for pets and play.

Cyclops, first one named for reasons unknown. She came in the box having a little infection which I am very very happy to say is clearing up with a little ointment recommended by Animal Services. She was the one I was worried about the most at first, but she also gave me hope for the group as she has consistently been the best eater and helped encourage the group to try this bottle thing on the first couple of days, a real leader. Also found out later she was a she, so with that, keep in mind kittens got named for who they were not their sexes, so don't think I made a typo when you get to Wolverine and she is a she, grow up.

This is Doop. Pretty sure he is half mouse, he squeaks not meows. He is 100% the baby of the group, he has half a tail (born that way not through injury), and has no issues looking you directly in the eye to squeak at you for more milk.

This little charmer is Emma Frost. He exists to be cute, part of the Siamese triplets he is the fattest and has a unique purr that sounds like farts. Also loves playing with his siblings, and a lil Doop'ish because very baby like too.

Last but not least. Wolverine. Oh my this little girl attempts to fight with the bottle for some reason but wants milk too, so to temper the wild berserker rage, she gets to have a little barbershop towel wrap during feeding which keeps her calm. When it isn't feeding time she is just the little cutie who doesn't know why she hates the bottle, her memory got wiped during the Weapon X program. She enjoys getting cleaned, because thank goodness, as formula gets all over the place when the bottle is being Snikt!'ed at.

---

Comic shop still up and running, please still support and buy some goods off the Etsy store as I assure you proceeds from sales now include supplies for fostered X-Kittens who are living inside a den made of comic book boxes for at least a couple of months. Comic images on tumblr will resume later, first time foster parent attempting to help save some little lives, wish the best for my little team here, it's been a wild week but so far everyone is eating now and they are comfy and playful in their temporary home.

NOTE: If you ever have kittens in your life randomly and were not prepared, contact your local Animal Services for your county or city or etc. Most places will not take kittens this young, however some *may* provide assistance. I was able to take a full X-Men team up and find out their weight, their sexes', get little tips if they can eyeball any health related things (but they are NOT a vet, keep in mind), for my county they will also be spading and neutering for free as well as chip and register them when they hit around 8 weeks, and also of course help finding homes for all this little beauties (who once people around you find out you have kittens.. they will try and claim them, but of course no one is taking them in and caring for them now! lol). Alright, time to go make some formula and get peed on, thanks for reading, enjoy the kitty pics.

Then in the second, John Conner's life is again at risk, but this time, he is saved and finds a father figure who gives him a new lease on life rather than wasting it by being a punk...

In the third one, John and his future wife are saved and despite Judgement Day happening, they survive it and their Terminator guardian inspired John to put on his big boy shoes and face the fight rather than run from it...

In Salvation, John's life is saved thanks to an organ donation...

In Dark Fate, even if John dies, someone many more took his place and fought proving that Skynet's attempts at taking over that way is a losing battle nor does it solve their problem...

What I'm seeing here are the following themes;

Birth

Organ donation

Foster Parenthood

Pulling yourself out of poverty/difficulty despite being born into it

Killing doesn't solve the real problem

And to top it all off, it has been confirmed that male Terminators (not females aka Termanatrixes) can sire children.

I can't help, but feel like Terminator has many pro-life themes to it. What say you?

I know foster parents hate talking about money. One of my worst fears is anyone thinking I’m in this for the money. It feels like bad taste to talk about it. But I’m so curious!

What state are you in, and what is the base pay there? Are there multiple levels of pay where you are? What else is covered for foster children?

As you might know, I was a foster parent for 12 years with my ex. It was not my idea nor was I thrilled about it. I never wanted to be a mom and, in fact, when we met, my dating profile in bold letters said "I DO NOT want kids". Once we had established a household she conviced me that kids is what she needed to be happy. So I relented to being a foster parent because I did not want a long term committment to kids. We adopted our first foster because we knew him and his family. (and 4 more in the coming years)

Now, that does not mean I don't love my kids. I love all my kids, including many who went back to their birth families. I had fun and enjoyed the work of raising kids BUT i had many more times when I was miserable and just wanted out. I owed it to the kids to stick it out and do my best. In truth, and just being honest, I am a good mom. I am patient and fair, kind and loving. My only downfall was I let my ex be the stay at home while i worked full time and then some and sadly that meant I worked 60 hours, did the homework time, the reading time and cleaned the house too. I was exhauted the whole of my kids' childhoods.

Even if we had shared equal duties it was still not my fulfillment in life. Many people say that "mom" is the only title that mattered. I am not that woman. As much as I love my kids and love the time we share once my youngest is ready to launch you could not get me to be a full time parent of a child again. I look forward to my freedom, being responsible to myself. Because I adopted, of course I will always be their mom and i am always there for my kids. (adult and teen). I did decent job with the time and skill I had and they are good people.

You wife is being honest. It would be WORSE if she relented and parented again when she did not want to. Not all women, even moms, get wholly fulfilled by being a mom. Not all women love the idea. They do it right, then commit the time and energy and raise kids who are loved and listened to but then when the kids grow up move on (or in your case go back to their family of origin) they move to the next step in life.

As foster parents we cannot "save them all" and we have to be okay with that or we can't foster at all. The devestation at each child leaving to an unsure future would kill our sanity. We do what we can when we can and to the best of our ability. To continue to try when our cup is empty, after time has passed is unhealthy for all.

You need to decide, is your marriage and future with your wife, the time you have to spend, less important than the child, who, could very well be placed in a loving, caring home where she is? I know the system is a mess but there are still many great foster homes out there. You need to weigh that and be honest with yourself. You may be giving up your wife for a child who will , with a high degree of certainty, go back to her family once she is 18. And has a decent chance of going to a wonderful temporary home. IF you find that your need to be this child's next placement overrides your marriage then do what you must. It is no judgment on either you or your wife or the love you share. It is just that you have different paths, goals and what you need is not what she wants.

Parenting is super hard and all admiration to those who love it. But no shame on those who to go another direction once the kids are gone, whether those kids have become adults or because they were removed to back to their bio family.