#former persecutor

Things I didn’t realize were strange most of my life…I didn’t look in the mirror much and when I did, I’d look directly in the eyes cause I didn’t relate to the person staring back. I have a memory of saying my given name over and over and each time it felt more foreign to me like it wasn’t even a name, like it was losing meaning. I even mentioned it to my dad once and of course he laughed at me. But maybe that was his standard reaction cause I once told him I hated being a girl

Open response: What do you think about forgiveness as a persecutor or persecutor-adjacent alter? Giving it, receiving it, turning it down, whatever you want. Is it needed? Do you want it, not want it, or is it more complex than that?

I kinda used to think that I was worthless, that I would never be loved, that I was incapable of being good, that I was the cause of everything bad that happened to us so I would take it out on other people. But now I have friends and people in the system care about me and I don't feel like I have to fight everybody anymore. I feel able to express my emotions safely! I'm trying to teach Charlie how to do that too, but for now if anyone in any other system needs a friend, I'm happy to share my discord! Just message me or send me and ask and I'll respond as soon as I can!