#fmdosaudition

IN ‘VERSE INFO

In the first week of July, select songwriter idols under the three companies are informed of the opportunity presented by this new show as described above. They will only receive as much information as given above to decide if they’d like to send in an audition.

If they choose to send in an audition, they are asked to send the following two videos by the end of July 21 in-’verse.

1) A self-cam video answering the following questions:

What inspires you to write songs?

What is your favorite song you’ve written?

Are there any songwriters you look up to? If so, whom?

What are your goals as a songwriter?

What do you hope to achieve by being on this show?

2) A cover of an existing song in their own musical style (examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6; admin note: please avoid canonically claimable covers here, but anything else is free game and an audio reference is not required!). They should note that, if cast, this video will be released online as a teaser for the show.

Casting will be confirmed at a later date.

OUT OF ‘VERSE INFO

This is the first Base event opportunity that is limited to idols with a specific background, position, or career direction. There will be more of these in the future, although I will make sure to make events with different limitations so that hopefully all muses with be able to eventually participate in one or two if they want to. There will also be plenty of Base events that are open to all muses, such as the COLLA3ORATE project and shows like Shared Home and Secret Sibling in the future.

Please be aware that if you sign up to have your muse considered to be a part of the main cast for Our Songs, you are expected to be able and willing to try to fulfill monthly prompts and plan on being active for the majority of the run of the show. Failure to participate may result in a muse being eliminated from the show. Since there is a small, limited cast for this event, it’s very important to have active members participating in it so that it can stay exciting and interactive. If you’re anticipating an extended period of low activity sometime in the next three to four months, it may be best to sit this one out!

Muns having muses in the main cast of the event should also be willing to do research to find songs to claim. The set up of the show will have different topics or challenges for the muses to write songs about and there will be certain limitations on what songs can be claimed to keep a lot of high-demand songs from being snatched up (these rules will vary depending on the task, but may include limited songs to songs not listed as title tracks on Melon, songs that did not chart on Gaon, and/or songs without a music video).

If you’re interested in having your muse participate in this opportunity, there are two steps.

STEP ONE: If you are interested in your muse being part of the main cast, please fill out this survey here out of character. This will be your official expression of interest for the event but step two must also be completed in addition to step one order to officially enter your muse into consideration for being cast as a main cast member!

You may only submit one muse per mun for consideration to be cast in this Base event, so choose the muse wisely.

No more than two idols from the same group will be allowed to participate as main cast at the same time. Consider this if you have multiple muses and are deciding which one to submit.

STEP TWO: Complete the casting video prompt in the in-character information above with a character count of at least 400 words and tag it with #fmdosaudition. You will have until Tuesday, July 21, at 11:59PM EDT to complete this step. You may not earn additional points for this, but you may count it as one of your two-point monthly self-paras if you have not yet reached the limit.

Any further questions should be directed to the main’s ask box!

GUIDELINES

CREATIVE CLAIMS:

Throughout the show, a muse will only be able to claim creative claims of the type they already have another points claim outside of the show for. Other creative claims will go to NPCs they work with. 

For instance, if your muse has only ever had full lyric claims and partial composition claims released, that is as much as they will be able to claim on a song for the show. If their first full composition credit gets released in August, for example, from September onward, they may claim full composition on songs for the show.

CASTING:

Tentatively, up to eight muses will be able to be initially cast on the show. If the interested muses who complete both steps by the designated date exceeds the cast limit, the cast will be decided by random generator for fairness.

Additional casting opportunities for later in the show (wild card cast additions, cameos, etc.) may draw from muses who completed their audition but were not cast by random generator (if applicable) if the mun is interested.

ELIMINATIONS:

If you have a muse participate in this show, please also note this is a competition show, meaning there will be eliminations. These will be determined either by who did not complete the writing prompt(s) for the month, or, if everyone did, by random generator. There will be no subjective judging of quality of writing for eliminations to keep everything fair.

Please be willing to accept the possibility of elimination/losing for your muse if they are a part of the show. Though the show will, in-’verse, claim to be to determine the best idol songwriter, the results are no way meant to godmod character skill level or canonically state who is more “talented” than any other.

LINKS

**Full Show Information**

when she first hears about the fact that there’s going to be a show for music producers and lyricists, youngjoo almost jumps at the opportunity to showcase her talents, if not for the little bit of self doubt and tentative worry that she wasn’t as good as some of the others who were most probably or likely to sign up for the show itself. confidence has never been one of joo’s greatest facets when it came to reassuring herself with things--and so its with a strange sense of quiet resignation and yet soft determination that she’d hold onto the hope that she’d do well that she picks up the self cam and starts filming to audition in for the show. 

the first thing the camera actually does see is a clumsy wavering around of the room, and a half of a face darting in and out of the camera’s periphery. “is it..like this?” ten years and counting, and youngjoo admits that she’s still not that all good at doing some things like a self cam. she doesn’t like showing herself off in the spotlight when she’s off work and on her own, partly because she really--just doesn’t have nothing much to show, and the other part is because--she really liked being all off and on her own. self cam was a sense of scrutiny, and she always felt conscious enough of it, despite her naturalness before it. 

“hello!” her eyes crease, and a shy but abashed laughter bubbles from her lips. “sorry for the mishap there, but i’m pretty sure you can see my face now.” she huffs a little as she peers forward, crossing her legs as she pulls back slightly. she’s dressed comfortably in her mini little studio that she’s set up in her apartment--nothing too lavish or expensive, and just with the minimal but good systems that she needed to make her compositions, her hair pulled back slightly into a delicate ponytail as she reclined a little in her chair. 

“so what inspires me to write songs.” she peered slightly at the list of question that had been given to her for the audition, careful thoughtfulness flickering into view upon her face as she seriously considered the question, looking into the self cam with thoughtful eyes as she paused for a moment before answering the question. “well, i was inspired to write songs to--in a way give myself a voice. i actually started learning how to write lyricisms for songs only about a year or so back, while i started writing compositions for multiple songs probably about the second year into silhouette or so?” she scrunched her nose slightly as she tried to think accurately of the date. “yeah, almost about there. i thought to myself that since i had a good music background, and the talent for piano composition, why not challenge myself and try out composition for songs? it actually worked, which was a great relief because i thought gold star wouldn’t--” she covered her mouth, trying to stop herself from laughing at the thought of complaining about her company.

“i thought gold star wouldn’t accept the songs because they weren’t that good. which in all honestly, they had every right to do so.” she paused for a moment, eyes creasing into delicate crescents as she smile happily. “but they did accept it, and for a couple of years, i’ve seen my songs pop up here and there in various soloists tracks, which made me really happy--and really greedy at the same time. if i’m good at composition, why couldn’t i try my hand at lyricism?” her eyes flickered as she cast her gaze down slightly. “so i started trying to write lyrics. it was hard--really difficult to find the right kind of words to songs, since i’m such a perfectionist, but eventually managed to, after all recently a lot of my songs have been written and composed by myself, as well as approved by gold star for further use.” happiness contoured her delicate features, brightening the room around her. “its a secret to what exactly its being used for, but you’ll be able to see the fruits of my labour in august! so what actually inspired me to write songs was the challenge of something different and something new, and surprisingly, in that process of finding something different and new, i found that i loved writing songs, and that i was good at it, which changed my original attitude of treating it as a challenge to one of attempting to make my own style of music and voice heard through my songs.”

what is your favourite song you’ve written?

she spends some time glancing at the question with mulling silence, wracking her mind slightly over which particular song that she had written that she had truly felt made an impact to her. it was difficult--because she loved all the songs that she had made with equal heart and equal soul.

“i think...” she trailed off slightly. “for compositions, it would be to my youth, in suji’s album &ND. it was a composition that i had written while trying to see from my wistful perspective as a young person how it was that i felt about youth?” her hands gestured slightly as she tried to find the right words to describe her thoughts. “i had left a note with the composition with the words “to my youth” in it, hoping that it would serve as a source of inspiration to whoever it came to.” she laughed sheepishly, hand slapping slightly upon the armrest next to her. “i just never thought that suji would have interpreted the song in its entirety so well, and that’s why its become one of my favourites for compositions. and if we were talking about lyricism, i think the portal song that i made last year--Grown Up, that was the most significant song to me.” she held off her words for a moment, letting the rage of emotions in her chest settle a little into something more manageable, the flicker of an uncontrollable excitement fluttering into the light of her eyes as she heave a soft but trembling sigh. “it was the first time that i wrote the lyrics of a song.” she admitted a little shyly, fingers twining over each other in nervousness as she glanced up for a moment at the self camera. “i honestly thought that i wouldn’t make it with that song--” she laughed a little self deprecatingly, before brightening. “but it held a lot of meaning for me, since i actually managed to succeed in writing something that i felt was worth a lot of my own experiences to me.” 

are there any songwriters you look up to? if so, whom? 

a faded but faraway look slowly overtook joo’s eyes as she fell back into her memory, jolting back into the present as she felt the self camera’s eyes upon her, a little embarrassed that she had been caught having her mind race elsewhere at the thought of the songwriter that she looked up to. “i actually do have a songwriter that i look up to.” she admitted. “its knight’s taeyong, actually.” she lets the corners of her lips jerk upwards into a small little smile. “we’ve worked together quite a bit when i first wanted to learn how to write the lyricism of a song, and i’ve always admired the way his music artistry and style that i found in his songs.” she chuckled, knowing that if this audition tape got leaked to a particular someone, they’d probably both end up being highly embarrassed. her cheeks flushed slightly at the thought. “he’s also a veteran at writing songs, and i find myself listening to a lot of his songs and byul’s songs as a whole when i’m stuck with something that i can’t get a hold of.” she grinned, a flash of pearly teeth, cheeky and yet adorable as she laughed openly about it. “so yes, if there are any songwriters that i look up to, they would be knight’s taeyong and byul. they really do make writing songs seem so effortless sometimes that i get frustrated, but every single song that’s come from them have been nothing but beautiful.” 

What are your goals as a songwriter?

joo blinked for a moment, twisting the ring accessory that she had worn for the day in slight nervousness as she faintly mumbled, then sighed. “honestly, being able to hear my songs being used everywhere and anywhere is my ultimate goal as a songwriter. but not just that. i want the songs that i write to have meaning, to resonate with its listeners, that when they heard the songs they’re able to feel their tears, have their healing or feel better about whatever they’re not feeling better about. isn’t that what songs are meant for?” she asked softly. “music brings healing when used in the correct way, and that’s what i want as a goal for songwriter, and what i mean by giving myself a voice. i want to give a voice that tells people--” she hummed slightly as she thought of the right words that would encapsulate her idea fully. “a voice that tells people, hey its alright, i’ve heard you, and i’ve gone through what you did, so you aren’t alone.” she adds on haltingly. “its a big goal ultimately as a songwriter, but one that i want to see happen as a composer and a songwriter, because that gives me more inspiration and meaning to write as a whole.” 

What do you hope to achieve by being on this show?

“one of the greatest opportunities that this show can give me, i think--is the fact that so many various songwriters and composers and producers are all gathered upon this show with one creative goal of writing a song that receives the acknowledgement from everyone eventually. having this slightly competitive space amongst people that are good at their work doesn’t just make for a better environment for those that want to learn, but also a better environment for everyone to actually sharpen their own skills. that’s--my goal to be on this show. to share my experience, as green as i may be, and to sharpen my own skills, something that i truly think won’t happen without another person to help give constructive feedback or collaboration experiences.” 

...

rather than cutting the camera immediately after her interview questions, joo takes the camera with her towards the organ piano that she had and used in her studio, humming lightly to herself as she adjusted the keys and the sound of it from the regular classical piano to a special effect on the piano, fingers pressing on the keyboards to test out the song with a few lazy chords of the song that she was going to sing, fingers flying across the board as she played the first few bars of the piece that came to her mind. the piano hummed with a rounded sound, almost tinkling at the end as she pressed the notes on the keyboard--and with a satisfied nod, she turned towards the camera, beaming widely as she tucked the stray strands of her hair back and prepared to perform, stretching her shoulders and muscles to relax the nervousness that was bubbling up in the pit of her stomach and her body. 

“so the song i selected is actually a rather old song. not sure if many of you have heard of the song aloha by cool? or aroha.” she took her phone, scrolling through her music playlist for the song that she wanted. “i’ll play the song for a few minutes.” she laughed as the old song started playing on the phone, the strums of the guitar and the cheerful vocals flowing through the speaker of her phone for barely a minute, before she shuts the music off. 

“and now, i’ll be playing my own interpretation of this song, with just the piano for accompaniment.” she winked, laughing cheekily as she adjusted her seating on the piano, and the mike that was placed on a stand before her. there’s a sombre pause, fingers delicately curved prettily upon the keys of the organ as she counted to herself and begun the song, filling everyone’s ears with the soft tinkle of a beginning chord to what would seem like a ballad.

in contrast to the cheerful and upbeat tune of the original song, the way that youngjoo sang the song was ballad like--but yet still surprisingly cheerful and mischievous, never losing the edge of the song that set it apart from everyone else. ballad had always been the style that youngjoo was highly comfortable with doing, so it was of no absolute surprise that that was the style she was going for--rather, the surprise came with how light and delicate the piano accompaniment sounded. rather than the heavy but emotional chords that would usually accompany a ballad song to bring about the rise and fall of emotions, the chord was playful and lighthearted, the special effect and rounded tinkling that lay at the ends of the keys as she played a crucial effect into uplifting both her voice and the song. 

as youngjoo got more absorbed and at ease with the song, the more the lightheartedness and playfulness showed. it was amazing that something as simple as a change in the piano tone for a ballad being able to bring about a different playfulness and flavour as a general whole to the entire song, and affect in a way how youngjoo sang. it was just that little something that youngjoo was clearly good at, being attuned towards tones and sounds as a composer herself as she sent a cheeky little smile towards the camera, happily ending her little cover of aloha with complete cheerfulness and utter satisfaction. 

        it had almost come as a surprise when bc entertainment had pushed for duri to audition for our songs. he had so much other things going on, that he was seemingly a bit surprised that they wanted to see him on something else as well. but, since they had thought that it was something that would be good for him to show up on, he decided to go ahead and audition. maybe the show could show off his skills some more in both singing and songwriting. the thought of it was a bit exciting and even if he didn’t get that far in the show, he would still show that he had something special; he just knew that he was really going to be up against a lot of really great songwriters. the thought almost scared him a bit, but he was going to do his best nonetheless. 

he had set up the camera in front of the couch in his and kai’s home, triggering kangaroo and peanut butter to decide to jump up on the couch, cuddling there. finn and angel were off somewhere else, probably quietly playing in a separate room. he had made sure the lighting looked good and the setting wasn’t dark. once it had looked good, he pushed play before he sat down upon the couch. it was a rather soft and warm setting that he had, one that he hoped would show off himself as a person. with a big smile, he bows, “hello! i’m knight’s duri!” he greets, before coming back up. “i’m really excited to get the chance to audition for our songs, so let’s get into it, shall we?” he said, before giggling softly; especially because it sounded a bit cheesy due to him having a song titled shall we? that he wrote himself. 

he reads the first question out loud, “what inspires you to write songs?” 

he thinks upon the question for a second, what inspires him the most? there could be a lot of things that just simply trigger that inspiration and creativity. “i’m really big on reading books and i have a really big collection of books! i think you can see some of the books behind me,” he says, a soft giggle leaving his lips once more. “the experiences in those books have really given me the inspiration to write songs, as i’ve written a lot after writing books; considering a lot of the things that i’ve written about haven’t been my own experiences,” he says. “the stories from my family on my parents’ relationship have been a big portion of my material for my love songs... ah, it just sounded so nice,” he says, getting a bit shy. “life experiences and the experiences of my friends have been another inspiration for song writing! a lot of my friends have said that it’s really comforting to hear a song that was based off their life experience, it’s something that have helped them get over such a thing. a lot of my songs that are really powerful are personas i’ve taken on from my friends,” he explained, smiling a bit more. “i’ve found inspiration in so many different things... inspiration seems to be everywhere for me!” he said, making that the last thing he would say for that question. 

he reads out the next question, “what is your favorite song you’ve written?” 

“oh, this one is easy!” he says, looking back up to the camera. “my favorite song that i’ve written is sound of winter,” he answers. “for the longest time... winter was really cold and harsh for me, because the end of winter marks the death of my parents... but, i ended up being okay with winter and making it through winter! i have embraced the winter and i know they’re comfortably laying somewhere in white during the cold winter...” he said, giving a small smile. it was always a bit hard for him to talk about the topic and he was sure that could probably be seen currently. “sound of winter shows my growth with the cold season, as well as embracing it to be something that’s incredibly beautiful,” he added onto his answer. 

he couldn’t read the next question out quicker, getting his mind elsewhere with answering questions. “are there any songwriters you look up to? if so, whom?”

“i really look up to ryan s. jhun, yoon sang-sunbaenim, and byul-sunbaenim!” he answered, his smile growing a bit bigger. “mister jhun has written a lot of really good songs since 2010! i’ve studied a lot of the songs, simply for my own artistry and to see how he formulates a song. i think it has helped me a lot to shape my own songwriting, as before 2010 i was writing songs, but i wasn’t so sure they were as good,” he said, giving a giggle. “yoon sang-sunbaenim and byul-sunbaenim are both incredible artists and have incredible songwriting skills! i really hope i’m as good as them and can continue being a really good artist like the both of those sunbaes!” he exclaimed, his face heating up a bit as he got a bit more shy after answering. if anyone outside of casting saw this, he was sure that they’d tell him he was just as good, which had seemingly made him a bit more shy - that’s what would usually happen.

he moves onto the next question, reading it out loud, “what are your goals as a songwriter?”

this was a question that had him a bit stuck on hw to formulate his words and ideas. however, there is one thing that had always stuck out to him that he had always seemingly talked about. “my goals as a songwriter is to... comfort people! i always hope that in some way, the songs that i write, can comfort people. that those words can enter their hearts and soothe any pain that they have. i don’t want people to be in pain when they listen to my songs or read the lyrics, i want the words to comfort them and make them feel better about their hardships,” he says. “i also hope that my songs can tell stories that people want to hear! i really enjoy telling stories!” he stated, a soft giggle leaving once more. he was sure to giggle a lot, that’s for sure. 

he gets to the final question, reading it out loud, “what do you hope to achieve by being on this show?” 

he nods, looking up at the camera. “i hope to learn new things while being on this show. i hope i can gain more confidence in my own abilities as a songwriter and as an artist as a whole. even if i don’t win or don’t go as far, i’ll still know that i’m a good songwriter and artist!” he said, smiling from ear to ear. “i hope on the show, that i’ll be able to show that!” he added on, making that the final touch to his answer. 

she set up her phone’s camera in front of the piano in her and lux’s makeshift home studio. she was sure that other idols’ studios were much more high tech and expensive than theirs, but eunah tried not to think about that too hard as she made one more last minute check that there wasn’t any mess in the background of the shot. 

lights ... camera ... action!

“hi! my name is kim eunah, i’m a member of dimensions entertainment’s 7rophy.” most people recognized their company’s name rather than 7rophy’s name themselves. “i’m a soloist too, and writing my own music is my passion.”

what inspires you to write songs?

“i’m not very good at expressing myself a lot of the time. writing songs helps me with that,” eunah stated, all matter-of-fact. she cleared her throat to continue after an awkward pause. “um, as you can probably tell, even talking like this can be difficult for me sometimes. because i usually speak very plainly and straight-forward, there’s a lot i don’t say. that comes out through my music.”

what is your favorite song you’ve written?

there were a few she could name that weren’t out yet, but it was probably better that she list some that the producers could actually listen to. “i’m very proud of the song let me in. it was my first solo song, so it’s very close to my heart. it also marked a big moment in my personal life, so it feels ... i don’t know if nice is the word, but nice to look back on it and see how far i’ve come since then. honourable mentions go to the songs all right, blue rose and vivid from my mini-album, mezzanine.”

are there any songwriters you look up to? if so, whom?

“i'm a big fan of musical theatre, i especially love the work of sondheim,” she cringed in embarrassment at herself, stopping herself before she started geeking out over musicals. she’d cut that part out. “um, i really admire a lot of my peers who write songs. my groupmate and roommate, lux, is really talented. she’s my primary inspiration. i’m also a big fan of element’s sun. i’ve been on two tracks he’s had a hand in now, hello tutorial and oh! my mistake, and i really enjoyed both of them. i like gal.actic’s kami a lot too. i had the opportunity to produce on her mini-album last year, and i’d like to work with her again one day.”

what are your goals as a songwriter?

“simply,” a smile pulled at eunah’s lips. “i want to express myself. i want to do that, and i want to communicate with others while i do.”

what do you hope to achieve by being on this show?

“at the end of the day, i’m really still a rookie songwriter.” eunah admitted that much with ease. “i don’t expect to win, but i’d like to challenge myself. it would be a really exciting show to be apart of and to grow my skills on.” 

2. cover ( no reference )

eunah’s offer by way of a cover was a piano arrangement of bee’s irony. ten years later, and it was easily still one of her favourite k-pop songs. with the camera rearranged to show her fingers on the keys as well as her face, eunah resumed recording.

“i’ll be playing a version of irony by bee for you today, i hope you enjoy.”

her version of the song was slowed down a little, and sang in a theatrical ballad style. it was still upbeat, ultimately sounding more like something out of a pop-rock musical than anything else. eunah did her best to channel her inner natalie from the show next to normal, trying her best to perform at a ten from behind her piano keys. the cover was fairly short, since she’d cut out the dance break and the rap portions of the song. she wasn’t about to get up and dance on her piano, and though she did rap for all of three lines of lyrics on her song d-1, she didn’t have nearly enough rap experience to warrant performing an entire verse. anyways, they wouldn’t have suited her arrangement of the song.

she wrapped it up neatly, final note of the piano and the final note of her singing closing at the same time.

it’s not that jaewon has been putting this off but that’s exactly what he has been doing. which, truly, is stupid. he’s the one that decided he wanted to sign himself up from this, it’s one of the very few things in his idol schedule that he gets to weigh in on.

unlike his own music these days.

oh right, that’s why he’s been so stressed about this. dimensions entertainment had kickstarted his 2020 with a big fuck you and the announcement that they’d be taking away his creative freedom for something that would hopefully be more… lucrative than his own work. and their strategy had been proven effective, the sheer commercial success of fiancé has been a thorn in his side, a constant mocking reminder that maybe, jaewon doesn’t know shit about making music after all.

it has also only solidified dimensions position meaning that truly, jaewon could write any creative freedom apart from the odd co-writing jobs for unity and songs he featured on goodbye.

until our songs came along.

sure, the company hasn’t said it in that many words, nowhere has jaewon actually gotten the confirmation that maybe, if he does well on this, they’ll consider letting him weigh in on his own solo work again. but hey, there surely is no harm in taking some initiative right?

-----------------------------------------

which circles right back to where jaewon is right now, in the home studio of his and soo’s apartment at some awfully late hour at night -because apparently his brain does not function during common office hours- to sit down and record this video for once and for all.

(for the 5th time this week but really, who is keeping count).

jaewon is glad he’s in a space so familiar to him as his own home, it takes away just a little bit of the stress and if he tries hard enough, he might even be able to forget just how much he has riding on this already, a pressure that for some forsaken reason he’s put on this all by himself.

he turns on the camera before leaning back into the office chair. it might look relaxed almost but anyone that knows jaewon also knows that the pen he’s twirling in his left hand is to keep the nerves at bay. luckily enough he can pass it off as a means of concentration for now.

the questions are displayed on the monitor of his computer in such way that jaewon can read them without having to make an obvious effort to lean forward. he has no answers written down but truly, he has mulled over these questions for so long by now that there is no need for that anyway. jaewon knows what he wants to say and he knows himself well enough that he can’t truly rehearse those words without sounding stiff and insincere.

“what inspires me to write songs?” he allows a brief silence to settle, a light frown on his face. “i’m not the best with words, not when i have to say them at least. i’ve always had struggles communicating, i just kinda… froze up. writing has helped a lot with that, it’s made it easier for me to put my feelings into words and to get messages across i wouldn’t have been able to get past my lips otherwise. i’ve written songs about difficult subjects in the past and hearing back from people that those resonate with them has really been keeping me motivated to keep pushing the bar further for myself, even if it’s a little hard sometimes.”

“what is my favorite song that i worked on... that’s kinda impossible to answer. i’ve been very fortunate to release quite some music already and to work with a lot of really talented artists. they’re all very different songs too so it’s hard to compare them so i don’t think there is really one ultimate favorite. if i had to name a few though-” he let his voice trail off for a second. “i collab earlier this year on we don’t talk together, i really enjoyed that song and working on that, i think it turned out well. oh and i got to feature and work on jiah-sunbaenim’s easy which has been released recently. i don’t get to take too much credit for that one though, taeyong-sunbaenim worked on that too.” his free hand moved to rest under his chin. “if i’m thinking about my solo work though i’d probably have to say am 4.44 and rebirth, both from my biorhythm album.” jaewon didn’t know if it was necessary to name what album they were from, especially since he hadn’t gotten to write a single word on love language but it would have to do for now. “i think those two are kinda a package deal for me? am 4.44 is about a pretty low point in my life, just mentally and all and rebirth is kind of the process of recovery from that.”

“songwriters i look up to? i worked with a lot of people and they all brought their own strengths to the table, all of those experiences have been very useful and incredibly pleasant.” he nods absent-mindedly. “i’d say i look up andy-sunbaenim, i got to work with him twice, on both bermuda triangle and on his latest album, i really like his style, i feel like it’s a bit different from my own but i do think they go well together. i also admire sooyeon from wish a lot, she’s very talented at a very young age. she balances both wish’ style and her own very well i think, i have a lot of respect for that.”

“my goals as a songwriter? i think to continue to grow till i can hold my ground by myself amongst other songwriters. i’ve learned a lot from all the people i already worked like i said before but i don’t think i’m near their level yet. i want to reach the point where i can continuously put out high-quality songs for other artists. like, i know my own sound and songs that work well for me but i think the real skill is being able to write well for someone other people. i want to be able to do that someday.”

“what do i hope to achieve by participating on this show?” to tell dimensions to go fuck themselves, jaewon thinks bitterly. but he can’t say that, not now he’s supposed to be all camera friendly. “i want to prove myself. towards other people on the one hand of course, you know, get my name out there and show everything i’ve learned up until this point, show that i know what i’m doing.” and yes, of course, other people in this case could just as easily be replaced with dimensions entertainment but there was no hard evidence for that. not like anyone was aware of jaewon challenging his label, not even dimensions itself. “but also to prove myself towards me. i’ve been writing for a while now, mostly when i felt like it or when i had an idea stuck in my head. i want to push those boundaries, to write specific themes within specific timeframes instead of just on a whim. i think that’s an important step i have to take for myself.” jaewon nods firmly. if he didn’t know himself so well he could believe it looks confident even.

-----------------------------------------

after he pauses the recording, the first thing jaewon does is roll his shoulders and let out a deep sigh. he’s definitely not an interview person he can’t help but think to himself, at least the worst part is over now.he takes a sip from the water bottle on his desk, letting his eyes fall shut for a second as he leans against his seat. just a brief moment of recovery before he forces himself back into action.

the interview might have been the worst part but he still has a cover to record.

first he gets up to retrieve the electric guitar they keep in their home studio, getting it plugged in and getting the microphone all set up, before pulling up the audio file from his desktop and hitting record on his camera.

there are some changes to the original song. after all, onewe is a band and q is not a rap song but jaewon toyed around with audio some, emphasizing on electronics of the backing track rather than the instruments. he has taken some liberties on expanding on the rap parts in the verses and together with the monotone, repetitive chorus it makes it sound so much more like a laidback hiphop song rather than the band song it was before.

another big change is made to the bridge. jaewon has taken out the vocals at the beginning of the instead opting to extend the guitar solo that follows. which is where the electric guitar on his lap comes in. admittedly, it’s a risky choice because while jaewon doesn’t have to worry about hitting notes he can’t reach, he also isn’t as gifted of a guitar player as he pretends to be.  it works though, maybe it’s because he’s been practicing this particular riff until he could barely move his fingers and he has to admit, it sounds pretty good.

he finishes recording, switching the camera off nearly immediately after and then spends another hour rewatching both videos -the interview and the song cover- fixated on finding a fatal flaw, any reason to tank this whole idea and just not send in his audition for the show.

he doesn’t find it.

so instead he sends it in before finally calling it a night.

there was an option to film this self cam in the studio he has at his place but joohwan’s determination to keep his private spaces as much of a secret as possible hadn’t wavered in seven years and wouldn’t start to now. instead, he asked for one of the studios at gold star – there were plenty to spare, and always a time of the day when they were free. joohwan went there immediately after practice, knowing he only had a couple of hours before he had to be at home, on his way to falling asleep, as he had an early morning the following day. knowing his way around, joohwan set up the camera and tried to put on his best idol smile.

“ hello, i’m origin’s joohwan, ” he bowed his head, once done introducing himself, taking just a moment to open the tab on the computer with the questions he was supposed to answer. “ this is my audition for our songs. i wanted to start by saying that this is a really good idea and i’m glad i have the opportunity of auditioning for it at all. ” he was supposed to stay on his best behavior, as public opinion still wasn’t completely favored to him.

“ what inspires you to write songs? ” he read out the first question, mind already working on an answer that minimally made sense as, ironically, he often struggled to convey his thoughts with words. he also couldn’t possibly talk about how one of the songs he had written, one of his favorites, was about… his boyfriend. joohwan tilted his head and pressed his lips together. “ i think everything? it depends on the song, really. sometimes it’s what i’m feeling in the moment, sometimes it’s experiences i’ve had, or experiences people close to me have had. anything can turn into a song, if you can find the right words, i believe. ” a nod of his head, joohwan quickly scanned the page to move to the next question.

“ what is your favorite song you’ve written? ”  there weren’t a lot of those. ever since the release of his first album, joohwan hadn’t really been allowed to work on anything, the songs from other songwriters and composers preferable to the company. he had been focusing on choreography for the past year or so, to the point where his songwriting had definitely suffered. tugging his ear, joohwan chuckled. “ maybe i will fight? the lyrics have a special meaning to me, so i value that song a lot. ” he felt like he didn’t need to explain why or what was his thought process as he wrote them, and moved to the next question.

“ are there any songwriters you look up to? if so, whom? ” joohwan didn’t have to think too hard to get an answer for that. “ if we’re talking songwriters from anywhere in the world, it’s definitely paramore. the band writes together, so i think it’s fair to say all of them. they are my favorite band ever not only because i love the songs for what they are but because i’ve always related deeply to their lyrics. and if we’re talking idols, exclusively, i’ve always admired byul sunbaenim, even before i joined gold star. i own all of her albums, actually, ” joohwan smiled shyly, scratching the back of his head. “ ah, this is a bit embarrassing. ”

“ what are your goals as a songwriter? ” resting his chin on his hand, joohwan pondered over that question. his songwriting had never been the most important part of the process to him. it was just something he did, alongside the other parts of the creative process that interested him. “ i guess i want to become a better songwriter, one that can write good enough songs that my company will consider them good enough for me to release them. maybe even write songs for other artists, i’d love to be able to do that. ”

“ lastly, what do you hope to achieve by being on this show? ” writing more music, something to help clean up my image. “ more experience, i guess. challenge myself, as i don’t know what will be expected of me and what people will want me to write. maybe i’ll be given the challenge to write and compose something that is outside of my comfort zone, and i want to know what i’m capable of. ”

noticing the questions were done, joohwan smiled once more and bowed his head. “ thank you for considering me, goodbye. ”

joohwan cut the camera as soon as he was done answering the questions. he stood up, reaching his arms up and cracking his back before reaching for his guitar case. it had been a while since he last played it before he took the instrument from his studio to practice the song he’d be covering. his fingers were a bit rigid, mostly due to the lack of practice, so joohwan took to strumming the chords for a bit before he attempted a quick rehearsal. it was just a cover, after all, and if they wanted to know anything about the idols’ songwriting skills they surely would’ve asked for more than just that, right? so joohwan wasn’t too worried about doing perfectly, he just wanted to be able to sing a song he enjoyed.

back to the camera he went, turning it on and sitting back on the couch rather than the chair this time around. “ hello, it’s origin’s joohwan again, ” another head bow,  fingers playing loosely with the strings. “ i thought a lot about which song i’d be submitting because i wanted to cover not only something that people will enjoy but something that has a relatable message. i believe that a lot of people can relate to the lyrics of this song, as i personally also can. anyway, this is day6’s zombie. ”

what kind of day was it yesterday, was there anything special. from the moment joohwan first listened to that song, he had added it to his favorites of the year. the melody was one he usually turned to when it came to music he listened to and the lyrics had punched a hole through his heart with every word being sung. it had been a while since a song had touched him this way.

today goes by the same, am i the only one struggling. there wasn’t much arranging to do, fortunately, as the song lent itself easily to a more guitar heavy approach. joohwan felt his eyes slipping shut as he sang, fingers playing the song away at the guitar by memory, no need for him to rely on the music sheet he had settled next to the computer.

i feel like i became a zombie, with an empty head and an empty heart, a scarecrow without a brain inside, since when have i ended up like this.

joohwan made the choice of skipping straight to the bridge after the first chorus, instead of singing the entire song, mostly due to making it a more pleasant listening experience, considering the arrangement was already a bit slower than the song itself. he still tried to add a minimal build to the last chorus, letting it fade to an end.

the number of half-finished covers in the files of ash’s computer and his phone is one he’s almost afraid to know. recording covers has become his go-to when he needs something to focus on. he’d fallen in love with covering songs before he’d even come to bc and it’s a love that has stayed strong. there’s a vulnerability to singing songs he’s writing, and he’d never give that up for the world, but he loves music of all kinds, not only his own, and there’s a genuine fun to singing his favorite songs that’s hard to find in anything else.

usually, he doesn’t stray stylistically from the original song he covers when he’s recording to upload on soundcloud because he doesn’t want to bother any of bc’s producers or any of his producer friends to do it for him since bc gets so weird about him having too much actual creative freedom over the covers he uploads. now, he’s been given complete creative freedom and it would be daunting if he hadn’t found the cover he wants to go with for his audition almost immediately. it’s mostly already completed when he comes back across it, as he’d recorded and produced it as a suggestion for a song for him to perform during his next fanmeeting tour, only for it to get jinxed by management for being more fitting for the atmosphere of a solo concert. ‘come back to us with it for your next concert’, he’d been told. well, this isn’t his concert, but they hadn’t said that was the only thing he could use it for.

the original song is already in a style similar to his own and that’s why he’d considered it in the first place, but he plays around with the mix from what he already has to differentiate it as his own style, and not rihanna’s or dj mustard’s. he takes elements of the original mix he likes and plays them up the distorted vocals and ramps up the bass as the song nears its end. it’s a version of the song built for a live performance in front of a crowd, and that’s what makes it his style. on the heels of his concert that had ended only a month ago, he’s felt like he’s going through withdrawal. he doesn’t remember his first solo concert feeling the same, but if he’d had any doubts about continuing his solo music career, he’s more determined than ever now just so he can have the chance to perform in an atmosphere like that again.

he records the video for it at a studio at bc. there are few things he gets to keep to himself, and he wants to keep his home studio one of them for now. he borrows a studio belonging to one of the in-house producers because it’s set up with colored lights that ash decides will fit the mood just right if he sets them to change slowly to the mood shifts of the music. it doesn’t require many takes to film the videos — one with the swear words censored and one without in case management decides they’re too much — but he shoots a few extra takes simply because he’s enjoying himself. the attitude of the song isn’t one he’s ever really taken on with his solo music, and it’s not so hard to pull off once he gets into it.